Having a mid-life crisis at 20...sort of

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CuriousNotion
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27 Sep 2011, 3:33 pm

I dont know whats wrong with me in all honesty...I think I just feel alone

At school I hated life but I looked forward the higher school , In high school I still didnt enjoy life but I had college to look forward to....college seemed to be the one place I could branch out to. Where I could escape the bullying I faced in school and make friends...Now I have been in college for 3 years...while the bullying has subsided and I feel more confident I still feel rather alone. I have made a few friends in college but too be honest I dont feel a very great connection with them..(I dont see them to often ...partially due to the hours in my course) .

Im poor with talking to people about myself and asking questions...The first problem arouse because I have nothing worth talking about in my life..when people are out I am stuck with a course that has too many hours and my school life is a depressing moan that no one whats to listen.. The reason why I cant ask questions is due to aspergers....

Sometimes I have nervous breakdowns (in my head) at parties..I feel like there is no one I can relate to..I feel regret due to being too anxious too make friends at first year...The reason Im writing this is that today a girl I liked showed little interest to me at a college get together.. she was polite but that was all there was...The major dissapointment at college is how women see me...They dont look at me with distaste ... they barely notice me...Im neither articulate nor interesting enough to grab there attention (or just come across as too friendly, but dont read too much into that comment) . I feel like I have a lot to say but I just dont have the words or confidence to say it to people. Its my fault I suppose

I dont want to sound very depressing...The thing is this was just a normal day for me.. But thats the thing..It was a normal day and I want more..
I feel I have the potential to express myself the way I want and make more friends through this...any thoughts? (Hopefully no one will think Im some strange ,crazy or depressing person )



cathylynn
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27 Sep 2011, 4:10 pm

there are lots of books on making small talk. one good one is "the art of making small talk" by debra fine. it gives example of questions to ask which you can put on a note card that you can go to the restroom and check. or go to amazon.com and search "small talk". i even saw a book on there about how to talk to women.



Candles15
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01 Oct 2011, 5:19 am

You are a little negative about yourself. You can't expect other people to like you If you don't even like yourself. Think of all the good things about you..Nice hair to great sense of humour. When you go out, wear something you really like, wear a nice perfume or listen to a feel-good song. I think the first step to making friends is smiling, It makes you look nice and approachable as well as releasing hormones that contributes to your happiness. Hold doors for people, maybe start volunteering somewhere (It will increase your confidence as well) and do things that are similar to that.. It will make you feel good as well as attracting the opposite sex because some girls love guys with good intentions :D Sorry If my ideas are a bit random and Good luck! :)
And it's ok to feel the way you do because It sounds like you've been through a lot..



FreeSpirit2000
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03 Oct 2011, 4:33 am

I totally feel your pain. In high school, my high school was riddled with severe bullying and depression and almost coming close to dropping out of high school and almost getting arrested for shoplifting and almost getting arrested again. In community college, I spent 1/2 the time messing around, hanging out and being defocused from my schoolwork. Now I am trying to pull up my grades, so far I am trying get my act together, aiming at A's and B's for general ed coursework and hopefully all A's in major coursework. My goal is to exactly accomplish this or at least get close to it. I had similar circumstances in high school and I can totally feel where you are coming from.



CuriousNotion
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04 Oct 2011, 3:25 pm

Candles15 wrote:
You are a little negative about yourself. You can't expect other people to like you If you don't even like yourself. Think of all the good things about you..Nice hair to great sense of humour. When you go out, wear something you really like, wear a nice perfume or listen to a feel-good song. I think the first step to making friends is smiling, It makes you look nice and approachable as well as releasing hormones that contributes to your happiness. Hold doors for people, maybe start volunteering somewhere (It will increase your confidence as well) and do things that are similar to that.. It will make you feel good as well as attracting the opposite sex because some girls love guys with good intentions :D Sorry If my ideas are a bit random and Good luck! :)
And it's ok to feel the way you do because It sounds like you've been through a lot..


Yeah you're right! I can overly negative sometimes! What I need to do is keep my chin up. When I wrote this I was in the worst possible mood and sometimes I use this site to get my feelings across.. It actually makes me feel better.. I just felt like....what direction is my life going at the moment and should it go in that direction.. you're absolutely right about all those things...except the perfume haha..random ideas are good ideas sometimes! :)



CuriousNotion
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04 Oct 2011, 3:27 pm

cathylynn wrote:
there are lots of books on making small talk. one good one is "the art of making small talk" by debra fine. it gives example of questions to ask which you can put on a note card that you can go to the restroom and check. or go to amazon.com and search "small talk". i even saw a book on there about how to talk to women.


Thanks Im going to have a look for them! appreciate it :)



CuriousNotion
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04 Oct 2011, 3:32 pm

FreeSpirit2000 wrote:
I totally feel your pain. In high school, my high school was riddled with severe bullying and depression and almost coming close to dropping out of high school and almost getting arrested for shoplifting and almost getting arrested again. In community college, I spent 1/2 the time messing around, hanging out and being defocused from my schoolwork. Now I am trying to pull up my grades, so far I am trying get my act together, aiming at A's and B's for general ed coursework and hopefully all A's in major coursework. My goal is to exactly accomplish this or at least get close to it. I had similar circumstances in high school and I can totally feel where you are coming from.


Im glad I we can both see where each other is coming from :) . hang in there mate . Life may get you down sometimes but as you go further down the road it gets better because you meet like minded individuals. I know my life sounds like a train wreck but it's just because I sometimes dont appreciate how much is given to me in life.. I could get more and I hopefully will but till then... I'll keep pushing forward and so should you!