Transferrring to an out of state school. living situation

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Stealth
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05 Jan 2012, 8:35 am

I'm transferring to an out of state school next week. I was originally offered a 1 bedroom apartment, but the residential coordinator had to give my room up. Since, some female student has a medical issue and needs her own room. Granted, I do have medical records that the school has of my aspergers/panic disorder/agoraphobia and force him to give me my own room, but was reluctant to tell him over the phone. He asked me if It was fine giving up my room and I said "yeah". I'm not sure if I made a mistake.

I was offered to live in a 4 bedroom/2 bathroom apartment. I was wondering if I should settle for the 4 bedroom apartment or write him an e-mail about my medical issue? I'll have my own room, but I will have to share a bathroom with one other person and share the kitchen and living room with 3 other people. I might not bring my car over there, so the benefits for me sharing a house with is that I can probably make a few friends, and I can probably hitch a ride with one of my roommates to go to the grocery store.


Then again, I don't know what it's like living with strangers. I guess I should be fortunate that I'm not sharing a bedroom with anyone else.

Should I stick with the 4 bedroom apartment or try to get my room back?

thanks



Hermier
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05 Jan 2012, 9:33 am

If it were my decision, I would say the four bedroom apartment is a decent compromise. Having your own room should offer enough privacy.

Sharing an apartment of this type is a good way to get to know people. My mother is still friends w/her college roommates from 55-60 years ago, and some of my daughter's closest friends from college are/were her roommates/suite mates.



AardvarkGoodSwimmer
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05 Jan 2012, 12:46 pm

With the coordinator, you can graciously recover. You have the option of writing back, 'You kind of caught me off guard. Actually, I do have a medical issue . . . "

The idea that a person is going to become friends with roommates/apartment mates. I think it's very much the zen approach of allowing it to happen if it does rather than trying to force it to happen.

And I would bring your car in either case for greater independence. And also so you can sometimes be a low-key leader and give other people a lift to the store.

This situation might actually lend itself to the Ben Franklin method of a sheet of paper, option A, option B, list the advantages of each. And then trust both your intellect and your gut feelings.



AardvarkGoodSwimmer
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05 Jan 2012, 5:00 pm

Hermier wrote:
. . . Sharing an apartment of this type is a good way to get to know people. My mother is still friends w/her college roommates from 55-60 years ago, and some of my daughter's closest friends from college are/were her roommates/suite mates.

I really think that's the Aspie thing of trying to 'excel.' It's like taking a job and expecting to rocket upward in the company. Yes, it might happen, and yes, you are a talented person with a lot to offer, but for all kinds of reasons it might just go medium and that's okay, too.

I think it's important to matter-of-factly grant space for oneself in a group living situation, and also to graciously give space to others when their words or actions indicate they need it.



Stealth
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05 Jan 2012, 7:36 pm

I decided that I'm going to take the plunge and try it out for a semester.



Ai_Ling
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05 Jan 2012, 7:43 pm

Understandable that living with strangers can be hard for some. I think getting your own room would be good enough, at least you don't have to share with anyone. I do think you should discuss living situations with your roommates. You can just tell them you have a "medical" condition so you would prefer ___________, you don't have to say what you have. Try to negotiate something, be reasonable. Its better that way so your less likely to run into problems. I didn't disclose or discuss living conditions with my roommate and she thought I disliked her and we ran into trouble when she started bringing guests over. She didn't really understand what was going on, funny thing she was a psych major who wanted to become a therapist.



AardvarkGoodSwimmer
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09 Jan 2012, 11:58 am

Ai_Ling wrote:
. . . You can just tell them you have a "medical" condition so you would prefer ___________, you don't have to say what you have. . .

This might be a good middle of the road way to do it.

If it was me, I might say, so, it takes me a while to get oriented in the morning and I'm not too talkative. In the evenings, I can be very talkative.