My Son Beginning College

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Hi,

My 18 year old son has a diagnosis of High Functioning Autism. He is planning on starting university in September. He will be living away from home. Currently he gets support in his high school. I am so worried about him starting university in a new city, new people, in a large campus with little support.
What can I do to prepare him?
Any current or past students have any experiences they can share so I can be aware of the possibe difficulties he will face and try to prepare him?

Thank you

First off, congratulations to your son! Accepted at college!

You are right to be concerned. I have heard more than a few sad stories about very smart kids crashing and burning at College. My son left college due to the social issues of being HFA and being clinically depressed due to social issues. And he wasn't even 'away', he was commuting to the local community college.

I highly recommend googling the phrases, accommodations for colleges aspergers, or something like that. If your son is getting accommodations in High School, does his College know about this? Do they have anything in place for HFA students?

Some of what they may offer can be fairly subtle, asking to be place in the front row in the classroom, asking and getting a single dorm room so you don't have the social stress of a roommate and roommate's friends. Having a tutor and/or mentor and getting longer time for exams and possibly a private room for exams.

I have heard stories of kids eating from the vending machines because they couldn't deal with the sensory overload of eating in the dining commons.

Then there is the campus itself, some people have a lot of trouble navigating a huge campus, so maps, of the campus beforehand, visiting the campus beforehand, is there a summer program he could take a class or two, might help a lot.

This will also be a big test of your son's ability to advocate for himself. He may have to speak to each instructor directly about sitting arrangements and exam time. From what I have heard it is a big shift from High School where an IEP is prepared for you and College.

Then there are the life skills issues (for any kid, not just HFA), doing your own laundry, managing your money, managing your social life. Getting to class on time, being prepared, handling the work load.

Some colleges are more Asperger friendly than others. Does the school know that he is HFA, does he WANT the school to know?

If he is starting College in the Fall you have plenty of time to work this all out and you are on the right path to start thinking about it now.

I also recommend visiting the Social Thinking website, Michelle Garcia Winner has a lot to day about the transition to being an adult and how kids who have had the path paved for them are in for a big change and challenge.



socialthinking.com

I'm a current college student, but I'm not sure how much I can help since I'm still seventeen and I live with my mom.

FIRST, and MOST IMPORTANTLY, is he registered with disability services? He needs to be. You can help him with that. You and he can attend a meeting with them and decide on your accomadations. I really, really hope he got his testing updated at his high school. Get this done as soon as possible so he can have the best experience possible.

One of my problems is study skills--as in, I'd never studied before, so I didn't know how to do it! This website helps: http://calnewport.com/blog/
The book he wrote is also good.

Another problem is making friends. Does your son have any friends who are going with him? If not, I suggest finding a minority group he is a part of. I'm LGBT, and the LGBT center at my school is very understanding. There's a place where I can go and just stay there and talk to people, and there's also quiet rooms there. You don't have to be LGBT to go to one of those places, either. Another possibility is an autism support group. There isn't one of those at my college, but he may get lucky. Also, does he have some kind of religion? He can join a group like that on campus. Personally, I'm afraid to join any clubs based on hobbies, but he may feel better about it. The point is to get friends so he can have a rewarding experience and have support in difficult times.

Also, with the friends thing: for the love of the gods, make sure he tells everyone about his autism! This will help him immensely because if he explains his social difficulties to him, they will be able to cut him slack and even help him with social skills. This has saved my life. Professors will also be more understanding, especially if he's registered with disability services.

Another important thing is to not let him get overwhelmed with too many classes. I made this mistake my first semester, and I fell hard. My problem was not having two honors classes; it was having a public speaking class that required me to write and pracitce speeches outside of class. It distracted me a lot from my other work, which made it hard for me to finish. I eventually got overwhelmed and started hiding.

Make sure he knows all the school policies! This is important for multiple reasons. One aspect is the social policies like sexual harassment--these policies tend to be very vague, and you don't want him to accidentally sexually harass people, because most universities expell students for that. Have him go over it with a disability services person or a counselor to help him get an idea of what is and isn't sexual harassment.
The other aspect is the paperwork-type stuff, like adding/dropping classes, paying tuition, etc. He needs to know these! Last semester, I tried to drop my public speaking class, but there was a hold on my record, and I didn't get it fixed until past the deadline to drop it! This destroyed my GPA. Make sure he doesn't let this happen to him.

I have one last thing to tell you, and it is VITAL that he get this. He Must Ask For Help! I have a tendency to hide things I need help with and ignore them, but that only makes the problem worse. When I ask for help, people help me make the problem better. I'm sure you know this. Make sure he knows it, too.

P.S. Maybe you can have him also come on here and tell us some of his concerns so we can give more help specific to him.

Well this is kind of irrelevant if he has his mind set on starting at a four year university, but my recommendation is to go to a community college first. It is much less expensive and if there is one closer to your area he would not have to move to a different city. Then he could transfer to a University but yeah that is just what I recommend because I deeply regret having gone straight to four year college...it did not work out.