Artificially selected groups are so hard when they don't work out, even for neurotypicals. I've had it happen to me several times; once at an academic summer camp, where apparently I was too nerdy even by nerd camp standards, and in a few dance classes (especially when I was one of the older/more experienced of the group, and tried to get everyone in shape for the show). I had to constantly, constantly remind myself that being forceful and exasperated wasn't likely to help; more likely to make others thing I was bossy and become annoyed with me. More pertinent to your situation, though, is my brother's experience this year as a freshman in college. He got assigned a triple, and lives in a little room with two other boys. During the first few weeks of school, when everyone was going around making friends, he spent a lot of time with his roommates, going to meals together etc. If they were giving him negative social cues, he didn't pick up on them. But he didn't really have that much in common with his roommates -- especially the popular basketball player -- and they really didn't understand his occasional rudeness or literalness. Whenever he took something too literally, even in an innocuous way, they'd rib him for it. Even when he asked them not to, directly and as tactfully as he could. He stays at home a lot of weekends, and so the basketball player had his girlfriend sleep in my brother's bed over the weekends, even after my brother asked him very explicitly not to do it! And the other roommate, who looked up to the basketball player, and was often the one who made the jokes my brother didn't get, wrote up a long and sarcastic letter in the third person listing all of their grievances with my brother, 95% of which were little misunderstandings from his Asperger's. When I heard about this I wanted to fly 3000 miles across the country so I could give those bastards a piece of my mind, but my brother worked out a better solution. He enlisted the RA, with whom he was friendly and who had family members with Asperger's, to help him tell his roommates all about his diagnosis, the social skills training he had done, what he could and couldn't pick up, and as non-judgmentally as possible, what he needed from his roommates to be able to live with them. To his roommates' credit, my brother's clear honesty, and willingness to negotiate (up to a point, of course) was really helpful. They're not buddies, but they get along well enough at this point. I find that most people, if you're direct with them, will work with you. Sometimes you even find unexpected allies. It's hard, though, I know. Good luck.
