ever been annoyed by people treating u "extra" nic

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im sure a lot of us on the spectrum got annoyed by times where we got bullied and mistreated and i had my times where i have too and didn't like it, especially in middle school. I however found my self in a situation where I found my self get annoyed by the actual opposite thing too. In other words, when I was in elementary school I found people often tried to be extra nice to me. Like for example, in gym class when I performed made a basket in basket ball, or did a high jump, something that most people could do, I found the whole class would chear for me but not so much for other people, or people would seem to go out of their way to say good job on stupid minor things, or always just act super nice in general. I actually didn't like it and it actually drove me nuts. The reason why I didn't like it because I saw right through it and felt like they were being nice because they saw that I had a dissability and that I was looked at differently. At the time I kind of didn't understand why it would make me upset and I would often lash out at people when they say "ohhh good job james" and then feel bad and shamful for doing it. Now looking back I totally understand the reasoning of why that used to annoy me. Yes I guess it was better then being bullied but I still found it to be kind of annoying. I wanted to be treated like everyone else. Have you ever experienced this too?

Yes, it's patronizing and condescending when people do that.

One phrase that really plucks my nerves is being called buddy. Nobody has ever referred to me as that except in a condescending way.

I hate it when people do that too. I normally just go along with it, because I feel awkward, and that makes them think they're doing a good deed (or job if it's a teacher).

Yep, I do this too. Recently a Uni lecturer who knows I have AS praised me for being able to speak to a group of people. Luckily he did it privately to me, or I would have had a meltdown. As it was, though, I thanked him and pretended like I was oh so proud. Little did he know I have spent hundreds of hours talking to groups of people - it's my job as a tour guide.

I know it can get under your skin, but what can you do? The best I've come up with is that it's far more sophisticated to 'know better quietly'. (I read that in an etiquette book once...)

I too am annoyed by patronization, and usually I just try to take it in stride but we all have breaking points.

I was coming home from a game( I play football, currently for JV but wanna make it to varsity) last night, and one of our managers came up to me and asked if my mother was here to pick me up. I was *SO* tempted to tell her I had my license.

Oh do I hate being condescended to and treated 'extra' (or phony) nice. I remember one time I'm in goal at a hockey game. I was playing dreadful that night (later found out due to a stomach bug). I was getting frustrated beyond belief but what really enraged me was when people would intentionally give me really easy shots. While it's likely done in the spirit of good sportsmanship, I almost demand someone run up the score on me when I'm playing poorly rather than play down to my level. If I can't keep up, it's MY problem, not theirs.

I still remember as a 4 year old how frustrating it was when people would talk to me in that cute voice. For crying out loud, I'm reading adult books on Astronomy!

I remember a child psychologist would treat me in this way. She would talk to me in a slow, put on nice manner as if I was brain damaged or something. It infuriated me and I made it clear I wasn't going to see her again. I remember in school some people would carry out this fake nice routine as well, not because of my diagnosis (I never revealed that), just as a form of mockery. So depending on how its executed, it can be as offensive as flat out insults imo.

That used to annoy me too. These days, the few people who call me buddy actually are my buddies and I've heard them refer to NT people as 'buddy' too. Here's a tip, for everyone who calls you 'buddy', make sure you call them 'buddy' too sometimes. Casually throw it into a conversation. It'll throw them off but they won't say anything about it.

Alot of people would be "extra" nice to me in high school and that was really annoying, but I guess it was better then middle school where I was getting my ass kicked everyday.