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Catheter
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27 Jun 2013, 8:19 pm

I used to try to get As, now I just try to pass. When I get a test back all I look at is if its at least a C and I don't look it over and see what I got wrong. Lately I haven't even looked at other assignments I get back. When I get something handed back i just shoved it in my folder and never look at it again. Then i look online and make sure I'm still at least a C.

I keep procrastinating everything to the last day, even big assignments. I guess also because I actually can with most things finish them in 1/10 the time the prof meant them to be done in.
a prof spent two hours rambling on about stuff that I went in and learned in 5 minutes when he handed out a worksheet to do. i just learned it all while doing the worksheet. I think about how much I could learn if I went and learned like that for several hours, but instead I go home and basically just f*** around reading articles online and then get physical frustration out at the gym. then, oh crap, no more time to do homework, damn maybe tomorrow.

i've spent so much time in school I feel like my whole life has been nothing but trying to do school and that that's all anyone asks me about or cares about. and last year I said something on my Facebook about how school is stupid and some of my relatives act all weird since then like they don't like me anymore or i'm a waste of their time.

but theres things I need to learn and I want to learn, but everything else made me feel like so much crap I don't even care. I know my writing sucks and I need to write more papers so I can get a job, but I don't care. I think, f*** it I'll just work at a grociery store and take my sweet time learning to write better.

I just don't want to be like this. it makes me feel dumb when I could be in MENSA if I wanted. But i'm really considering joining the military so someone else can just beat me to death or I get shot and die and then people feel like they have something to thank me for instead of just thinking I'm not trying hard enough for anything. I only have a couple friends and I always have to call them for stuff or I never see or hear from them. I could be helpful, but they don't need any help with anything. which is partly also why I started collecting reptiles and fish because they have to be fed and cared for really carefully and they need me but they don't b***h and complain if i'm not giving them enough, they just die.

I'm trying to make friends. i'm just so cynical and and sick somewhere back in my brain and its making me feel all nauseous and anxious every day and want to bully people like I've been bullied. man I need better sleep but I live with my brother and he doesn't go to bed til after midnight and won't shut up and then bugs me all day too so Im get like 4-5 hours of sleep a night then zombie through most parts of the day on adderall. Unless I'm doing some physical activity I feel like a sick anxious zombie military dictator. :{ :{



ForeverAloneVirgin
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27 Jun 2013, 8:46 pm

When I was in grade 11 and enjoyed life I got 90%+ in everything so I could get early acceptance to the universitites. Then in grade 12 I started to no like life, pointless, my marks dropped. Then I failed university. I also couldn't make any friends my entire first year.

This is what all your hard work in life will amount to.
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Just get a minimum wage job, rent a house, spend money on prostitutes and drugs. I smoke weed everyday just to get through. Some people like alcohol but weed is safer for long term daily use.



nikaTheJellyfish
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27 Jun 2013, 9:17 pm

Catheter wrote:


I just don't want to be like this. it makes me feel dumb when I could be in MENSA if I wanted. :{


Honestly, then join MENSA. It's easy, fairly cheap, and there are some great people to meet- lots of Aspies too.



Catheter
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27 Jun 2013, 9:30 pm

nikaTheJellyfish wrote:
Catheter wrote:


I just don't want to be like this. it makes me feel dumb when I could be in MENSA if I wanted. :{


Honestly, then join MENSA. It's easy, fairly cheap, and there are some great people to meet- lots of Aspies too.



That's where I become an ass again because MENSA also just looks like another kind of school. You know, wouldn't want to be part of a club that accepts people liek me. Basically "I have a problem with authority" and just want to ridicule everything and everyone in the most satisfying way, which is by making them think I'm not ridiculing them when I actually am. Except I don't do this to my friends, I just don't have many friends you can probably see why.



Stargazer43
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27 Jun 2013, 9:52 pm

I doubt you're dumb, it sounds to me like it's more an issue of motivation and attitude than anything else. The fact that you aren't even looking over what you miss on tests is proof to me that you aren't putting in enough effort, as any time you miss something on an assignment you should make it a priority to understand why you missed it, and go over the material again as needed so that you won't make the same mistake twice.

You say that you can do your assignments in 1/10 the anticipated time, and that you learn the material instantly, but if that was truly the case would you really be struggling as much as you are? As Edison once said, genius is 1% inspiration and 99% perspiration...even the brightest people have to put in a pretty heavy amount of work if they want to do well academically.



MDD123
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27 Jun 2013, 10:52 pm

I second what Stargazer43 just said. It sounds like you just need a change in scenery/pace.


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Catheter
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27 Jun 2013, 11:31 pm

Stargazer43 wrote:
I doubt you're dumb, it sounds to me like it's more an issue of motivation and attitude than anything else. The fact that you aren't even looking over what you miss on tests is proof to me that you aren't putting in enough effort, as any time you miss something on an assignment you should make it a priority to understand why you missed it, and go over the material again as needed so that you won't make the same mistake twice.

You say that you can do your assignments in 1/10 the anticipated time, and that you learn the material instantly, but if that was truly the case would you really be struggling as much as you are? As Edison once said, genius is 1% inspiration and 99% perspiration...even the brightest people have to put in a pretty heavy amount of work if they want to do well academically.



plenty of geniuses dropped out of school. like Einstein I guess must have been a really lazy as*hole even lazier than me. imagine what he could have done if he had actually put some effort into his life. what a waste.



zer0netgain
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28 Jun 2013, 12:12 pm

Catheter wrote:
I used to try to get As, now I just try to pass. When I get a test back all I look at is if its at least a C and I don't look it over and see what I got wrong. Lately I haven't even looked at other assignments I get back. When I get something handed back i just shoved it in my folder and never look at it again. Then i look online and make sure I'm still at least a C.


Sounds like classic burnout to me.

I hated high school (social issues and bullying). I just wanted out of there. When I went on to community college, I was always Dean's List or President's List. Some classes I coasted through, but I wanted As in every class.

I was this way in every school environment I was in since then.

In law school, I burned out in my first semester because I was in chronic pain from a car accident. When I chose to get through law school instead of dropping out, I was like you. I wanted As, but I knew Cs were all that I needed to pass.

Indeed other students learned if they stopped OBSESSING over getting As, their stress levels went down and they had an easier time passing exams (often with better grades).

Don't CHOOSE to slack on life, but it sounds like you need a break to rediscover what YOU want in life. I didn't go on to community college right away...I went to work, and after a few months of dead-end jobs, I decided I needed more and WANTED to go back to school. Had I gone straight to community college, I don't think I would have done as well as I did.