Absurd Question....

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...that I am in desperate need of answering.

How do you absorb and retain information?

The reason for my mind-bogglingly stupid question is because in two weeks' time I will be returning to an academic environment for the first time in seven years.

I believe it is pertinent to add the following:

(1) My short-term memory is uncomprehendingly abysmal. Now I recognise that this may sound hyperbolic but I can assure you all it is not. It's so bad that I frequently forget the names of recently introduced characters from the crime/horror fiction novels my heart so dearly craves. Although my psychiatrist continues to reject my request for a CT scan, I remain adamant that my brain must be severely crippled and from here on in will only regress further.

(2) At school I was the very definition of 'mediocre' and even that may be somewhat of an embellishment because my highest grade in secondary education never eclipsed a B. Whilst it's tempting to blame my folks, who never ingrained into me that my studies were of particular importance, the true fault I'm afraid lies on my proverbial doorstep. I attended school to amuse and entertain - which would explain my popularity with my peers - not to learn and realise my academic potential.

(3) It is yet to be ascertained what type of learner I am. Whilst the college in question assert that they can deduce this merely by running me through some standardised tests, I remain skeptical at this juncture. I strongly fear that I am too low-functioning to pass the course. Moreover, the tuition fees + examination costs incur a charge of almost £5,500. If I decide to opt out at anytime after the first two weeks of my course's commencement date, I am liable to reimburse the college the full sum for the year.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

My advice as a University student and an actor is simply this.

Repetition, repetition, repetition.

Whenever I have a test, quiz, or exam; I find that index cards work best. Whatever information I need to know, I write every bit on an index card, and I mean EVERY bit, even things that you might not even see. I will read through them two or three times, then start memorizing. I make two piles as I go, one for the cards I got right, and one for the cards I got wrong or couldn't fully answer. After I've gone through the whole stack, I go through the wrong pile, see where I went wrong, put the two piles back together, and start over. I keep repeating the process until in the end the only pile there is is the correct pile. I use a similar method to memorize any scripts or texts I get.

Depending on how much information there is, it can be a mentally exhausting process, but believe me when I tell you that you will feel much more confident when exam day comes along, and your grades will show it.

Thank you for the advice.

Incidentally, in the past 48 hours I have made attempts to remember information by implementing the repetition strategy into my world. To my great surprise this has helped me retain snippets of information. For example, I now know my mobile phone number; my 16-digit credit card number; the meaning of the word, 'recalcitrant' and the capital of Vietnam. But I do experience difficulties with this approach when I am outside and faced with the public. During such tumultuous times, the newfound information ostensibly becomes warped, hazy and disordered inside of my head.

Furthermore, a 'mind-mapping' book I recently ordered should be arriving with me soon. Hopefully this learning method can aide me too.

That's awesome that it helped with something!

The more that you use repetition to remember things, the easier it will become to do so. One thing that I can suggest is to write down important things on 3x5 note cards, put them away for a while and see if you can remember what was on those cards. You can use those same note cards to test yourself before exams to see if you know the material. Physically writing the notes down in class does help you remember the material better than if you just watch the instructor (or type on a computer), as you have to think about the material as you write it out with your hands.

I have used the note card trick to "earn" a Linux + certification when I don't know anything about Linux (I memorized 600+ possible questions and answers), to get multiple degrees with a 4.0 in two of them and a 3.85 in the other two (I only get a B if I'm being a jerk in the class), and to learn a few languages well enough to get along. All with minimal effort.

The key is what AspergersActor8693 said, put EVERYTHING on the cards, in bits. And read EVERYTHING. Don't speed read, even if professors tell you that's "academic" reading.

If you do that, it's all amazingly easy.

I'm NT, with not all that high an IQ.

I would say: follow the syllabus, first thing. Don't let yourself get behind. If you do, it's an uphill battle.

What is your predominant learning style?

It now seems as if I have been misinformed by representatives from their financial department.

Initially they stated that I would not be expected to repay anything to the college nor to Student Finance if I opted out at any point during the first four weeks. But now the very same advisors are claiming that should I enrol, attend the first lesson (which is tomorrow) and subsequently quit, the first term's tuition fees will need to be repaid to the college immediately, regardless of when it is that I leave.

When I remain extremely ambivalent about whether the course is truly of interest, it's rather difficult for me to justify spending close to £2000 on what could amount to no more than a few hours of tuition.

This is a huge problem for me because I have absolutely no idea at all.

Whilst it may be sound unfathomable and utterly preposterous, I believe my brain is almost completely incapable of learning new things.

Pfffft. IQ IQ IQ... You ma’am have earned free tech support PMs for life.

I think IQ should just stand for inference quotient. Also, it's certainly possible to master blind inference by rote or eidetic memory.

I'll offer two pieces of advice: first: https://www.intellimeds.co.uk/noopept/noopept-capsules. I've used these for a month or two, and it's a very interesting thing. Originally intended as a treatment for Alzheimers Disease, it's now sold as a dietary supplement that helps with mood, memory and cognition. As far as I can tell, it works on all counts.

Second: brute force note taking. I tend to have high reading retention, but the stress of knowing that I will have to remember something I've read from memory later messes with that a bit. However, I rarely have problems remembering things I myself have written down. Hence, when faced with a text that it is absolutely crucial that I remember, I sit down and I transcribe all or most of the text into a separate document. The added work forces me to read carefully, process segments of the text individually, and above all pace myself. Might not work for eveyone, but still might be worth a try.

My application was withdrawn earlier today because I would be liable to pay for the first term's tuition fees, regardless of whether or not I decided to quit within the first four weeks.

The financial implications are too great for a course that I am not particularly interested in. I only made the enquiry in the first place because I scored higher than the average graduate on computing, vocabulary and non-verbal reasoning tests.

Now I am swiftly returning to an apathetic state of mind. Again.

So what are you going to do? You're not going to study anything?

That's difficult for me to answer at this juncture.

I have been rather reclusive now for over five years and my mother cannot - and should not - accommodate me for much longer. I am fully aware that I need to grow up, but it's hard for me to adequately express in words how much I loathe change!

Furthermore, it doesn't help that I am disinterested in virtually everything. Politics, religion, sport, entertainment, technology, philosophy, history, culture, art... it's all meaningless to me! I've attempted to recant my 'negative' views on life in the past, but my simple mind is so terribly stubborn and intransigent that death is a rather perverse dream of mine.

try to use different kinds of memory: kinetic memory (write what you need to learn), visual memory (drawings or schemes), auditive memory (read aloud).
The good thing is that hippocampus neurons can regenerate and memory can always improve.

I like brute force note taking. Here's hoping I can afford a new Thinkpad...