I'm new to this site. I'm not sure if I have autism as I've never been diagnosed. I have many symptoms of high-functioning autism, but I'm not sure how many are simply due to natural introversion, having a high IQ, and growing up in a dysfunctional family that stunted by social and emotional growth.
I attend a really small high school and don't have any friends there. I don't like the people here. I don't like people in general, but I'm excited to attend college next year and meet people I have more in common with. I don't expect to fit in there, but I think it's big enough I'll have other freaks to hang out with.
There's one particular classmate I feel like ranting about. (Unfortunately she chose the same college as me.) She tries to be polite (like asking people how they're doing and getting stuff for people) but isn't very emotionally mature at all. A few years ago she told me I didn't have any right to be sad about my life since we attend a private school, a privilege lots of girls don't have. She doesn't know I'm diagnosed with depression. Today she told me something like, "Please don't keep up with your 'I hate people' attitude in college." Even another classmate later came up and told me that was out of line.
Everyone wants to fit in and have friends. It's not my fault that I was born a freak. The alternative to "hating people" is to waste my whole life pretending to be normal. I've already tried that route in elementary and middle school. I was still ostracized and bullied despite all my efforts. Besides, it's not fair to call me antisocial (though I am) because I don't want to lower my standards to fit in with the idiots here.
30 Apr 2018, 11:27 pm
