I cant seem to go to school, I cant work out what it is!

Post Reply New Topic

I quit school after my GCSEs where i worked my ass off while battling through depression , and a phobia. When i came back after the summer I coudnt cope so i dropped out. I spent the year on the sofa, 1st i went agriphobia but slowly through a volunteer program i got out and buy the end of the year i had a small part time job.

This year I finished my job only cause my 6 month contract is up and started sixform college for beautitions

I coudnt cope the 1st term i didnt get on with the class i coudnt bond it was 3 days a week and i just cudnt face it, but somedays i go in. Until i restarted the course with another class
this time it was night college, a quiter time with only one small class, i really liked it only 3 hours, but now they changed it to 3 days a week.

I cant face it, i have a 15 walk to the tram (subway/tube/whatever) and then a 15 min journey and then a small walk in the shopping centre. It seems so far away from my home my old school was a 15 min walk away.

Thats the 1st thing but then the 2nd thing is on normal day the college is packed out with loads of classes its 9:30-4, I dont have a set scedule so i walk in not knowing what or which classroom i'm doing.

also 3rd the hours i just cant face the idea of having to stay somewhere for that many hours, i dont have enough faith in my self to do it.

4th thing is I CAN NEVER ORGANISE MY SCHOOL bag, i do it the night before sometimes to help but i always forget my keys my shoes, my pens, my lunch etc

I don't know what else to do, i like the subject but its not my career forever. But i signed up to set my self a goal of comiting to 9-5 like everyone else to gain my independance. ]

The college is being very suportive, but i think its going to come to a point where ive missed work they have to let me go I only got dignosed with AS a month ago

i would have a fit if they changed my one day-a-week night class to 3 day-a-week day class as well

as for having too many people/trip/hassle.... i would suggest dark sunglasses, and some sort of mp3 player/walkman for the trip and some small object to hold in your hand (soft and soothing like a stress ball or a soft piece of cloth, or interesting to touch like a mini-koosh).... this gives you a distraction...

make a check list of everything that needs to be in your bag.... make 100 copies..... check off this list every day before leaving the house.... (or laminate it and have one copy, right next to the door)

length of time away from home... hmmmmm... well then you just went through all that junk to get there.... you might as well make it worth leaving the house in the first place.... you said class was interesting... once you are there, won't you stay?

and why don't you have a set schedule? can they not give you your schedule beforehand? you now have an ASD with severe issues with randomness, ask. There is no reason they can't prefill your schedule.

you know you have anxiety... apply whatever treatments you know worked on whatever type of anxiety you had (agoraphobia would be a type of anxiety) to each individual problem. You can do this. You have left the house at least once now... no slipping back, right?

(I have General Anxiety Disorder, which means I am anxious about everything. I once thought it would be nice to just not leave the house anymore, Then, voila! no more anxiety, but no, if I stay in my house too long by myself I start getting anxious about my house)

My mantra "I REFUSE to let my fear run my life." (yell the caps)