My shallow friendships...

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... melt away like ice on a summer day.

Anyone else like this?

Yes. I've never experienced the kind of close friendship that most people seem to. My closest friendships have been like what other people consider casual friendships or acquaintances.

It doesn't bother me anymore, though. I used to think it was a sign that I was unpleasant to be around, but I think it has to do with the fact that I don't communicate on an emotional level. Apparantly, a lot of friendships are based on some kind of emotional connection.

It's also rare for me to meet anyone I have much of anything in common with. A lot of people communicate via references to movies and tv shows I've never seen.

I'm an NT as far as I know, and pretty much all of the friends I've had are what I call "disposable friends." My friendship with them is generally situational and geographical (like I happened to sit next to them or live close them), and when it is no longer convenient, we completely drift apart. This sounds like the kind of friendship that you described.

The only true friend I ever had has Asperger's. We share the same intense interests and he's much more honest than any of my previous friends. I believe that one real friend makes up for a lifetime of shallow ones.

The best friendship I ever had was with my brother(we adopted each other as teens), when we were living together.
We did pretty much, EVERYTHING, together except girls (well there was this one girl once...).

But every time we move apart (he's in Texas, I'm in California), we drift apart for a while.
When we get back together though, it's like we were never apart.

Pretty much ever other friendship I have/had has been somewhat tenuous.
The people I feel closest too never seem to match my enthusiasm for our relationship.
I guess I don't know how to feel differently... either not attached to them or very attached to them... not much in between.

My friendships at school (since grade school anyway) have never been close friendships.
Typically, I don't fit into any group, although I used to try awful hard with some.
That's why I spend the bulk of my life (other than time with my daughter)... ALONE.

I feel like that. At college, I have people I hang out with, but I feel like I'm more of a casual friend. I don't have deep friendships here. I also like convenient friendships - I made all my high school friends after being in class with them for years. Now that they've gone off to college, I find I don't miss them much. I do miss having close friendships, but not as much as I feel I should.

All of my female friendships have been like this.The only close friends I have had were "boyfriends" who were always my best(usually only)friends.I think the sex is what bound us together and made them tolerate my quirks.I think that is also why I was such a boyfriend addict....having one was the only human connection I ever had that seemed to at least last the duration of the relationship.I did often wonder if they would still have been my friend if I wasn't having sex with them but I am pretty sure I know that answer.When the sex declined(I would lose interest),the emotional attachment would lessen for them.I would still feel the same about liking them but it seemed they would become ever more critical of my AS traits.I would love to see some research on this in AS in females.I think it is a coping mechanism(pre-internet especially)for the lonliness of being AS female but dont know how much I am just projecting from my own experience.Would love to see some hard science on this.

Yeah, I have what I refer to as a "Revolving door" of friends. I have a few people that I have forced myself to stay connected to because I really really like them, but I don't have any close friends that I see more than once a month except for my boyfriend, but he lives with me.

Same here, except I don't have a daughter.

My friendships at school (since grade school anyway) have never been close friendships.
Typically, I don't fit into any group, although I used to try awful hard with some.
That's why I spend the bulk of my life (other than time with my daughter)... ALONE.

It's so very comforting to find others with the same experience. I stopped dating when I just couldn't take any more criticism and put-downs about me being too deep, too different from the herd, too aware, too this and too that. After a lifetime of this, it's been a relief. Now nobody criticizes me, and I can put up with the aloneness better than with the constant abuse.

Pretty much throughoyut highschool any of the friends i made had seem to be more casual friendships but being aspie i was unable to identify that. I really didnt know what it was like to have a close friend till college. What happens is that we hang out at school, never hung out, outside of school for every "reason" possible. I eventually gave up with these "connections" once we were no longer within each other presence. Right now I have 2 close friends and a few casual friends. And the close friends will want to be with you a lot. Not nessarily at all times but a lot. And distance dosent completly cut us off.