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Snowy Owl
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14 Aug 2008, 2:19 pm

I'm starting college in September and I'm worried it's going to go as bad as school did. I wondered if anyone can give me some advice on making friends. In school I could never make friends myself, a teaching assistant always helped. Also should I explain my AS?



JerryHatake
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14 Aug 2008, 5:23 pm

^Well I have three suite mates last and this year at Mason but I got slowly used to it. My advice is take easy at first then slowly move up with your roommates in getting to know each other well and hanging out possible. Eventually you have to explain AS to them but take it slow and easy from the start at least.


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Snowy Owl
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14 Aug 2008, 6:37 pm

I'm still living at home, am not ready to move out yet so won't have room-mates but thanks for the advice anyway. Also I have another question and I'd be grateful if you could answer. At my school there was a unit for autistic/AS kids who were mainstreamed, so naturally I hung out with other AS kids. At the college I'm going to they have a room where special needs students can go to, should I stick to what I know and just hang out with other special needs kids or should I make an effort with neurotypicals as well. I hate change, but a guy from school who also has AS says I should make an effort to fit in and not just hang out with other special needs kids.



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14 Aug 2008, 9:34 pm

I would try to hang out with some of the NT's, it may help a bit. Once they get to know you a little, many will become acquaintances if not friends.
Good luck.


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Snowy Owl
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14 Aug 2008, 11:22 pm

Thanks for your advice. This may sound stupid or something, but how do I start a conversation with say someone in my class. I've never done this before, what do I talk about.



Sceth
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14 Aug 2008, 11:58 pm

Hands, depending on your environment, try one of the following.
Beware that Universities tend to be unlike High-School (unless you gravitate to people who would make it so) but critically, universities tend to be highly unlike each other. In any school, though, there would be a diversity of subcultures to exploit.

If a university stresses in its brochure that persons in its community are judged based on their ideas and contributions (case in point: MIT is very careful to do this, occupying the whole back page of their paper application, and it is a common note at Stanford), campus is likely to be extremely liberal, which is extremely good. In this case, there is no need for hesitation or hiding with ASD traits.

I experienced literally no hassle whatsoever on the campus of a large academically 'elite' university, whereas I got horrors on a public school grounds. These are not representative, though.

1 Talk to the 'Honors' level students about their subjects (consider whether your school attracts passionate people first, but take the gamble if you are unsure, as no harm will come from a mistake)
or
2 approaching the target and saying
"Hello, my name is ______, and X" where I have five random suggestions for X:
A: I thought I could help you with that
B: I need someone to talk to. Do you have a minute?
C: I think you will like me. Here is why:...
D: What Major are you considering?/ What is your level of interest in the topic? [This is the easiest one if the person is in your class]
E: I would like to sit next to you.

To motivate yourself, get into the habit of approaching someone if you want information about them.

It is good to ask the other person questions about themselves.

A nice thing to do is not hassle yourself. Sometimes the normals will want to talk about somethings with very little depth and then jump around topics by free association. This confuses me. To simultaneously distract them from your oddity and to get them to make less open statements, you could carry around a deck of playing cards when students are not too busy studying. Propose a cardgame and endulge in any jokes the person tells. If you cannot cope with any 'chatting' that ensues, try telling the person something else.

For intimate exchanges, try to get the person alone.

I can tell you that these strategies have worked for me, but the issues are environment-specific.



JerryHatake
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15 Aug 2008, 12:54 am

Hands wrote:
I'm still living at home, am not ready to move out yet so won't have room-mates but thanks for the advice anyway. Also I have another question and I'd be grateful if you could answer. At my school there was a unit for autistic/AS kids who were mainstreamed, so naturally I hung out with other AS kids. At the college I'm going to they have a room where special needs students can go to, should I stick to what I know and just hang out with other special needs kids or should I make an effort with neurotypicals as well. I hate change, but a guy from school who also has AS says I should make an effort to fit in and not just hang out with other special needs kids.


Well I been with mostly around neurotypicals so I haven't been to a room for special needs students. I say take effort making friends with NT's because I'm friends with Mason LIFE Program students but I hang with them when at practices for Special Olympics Mason. I actually made a good amount of friends who are NT's because I choose to take risks and it has work so far to be honest.


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"You are the stars and the world is watching you. By your presence you send a message to every village, every city, every nation. A message of hope. A message of victory."- Eunice Kennedy Shriver