Joining a frat

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Well I became friends with someone who is in Alpha Epsilon Pi and I asked to joined on my own decision. What should I do?

Is there any good reason why you should not join them?

What kind of fraternity is it? Professional? Purely social?

I avoided fraternities for most of my time in college, simply because the normal types of guys to be in them seemed like the normal types of guys that would be all too willing to harass me. That, and large groups of people tend to make me feel anxious.

Around my junior year, a couple people that had befriended me really encouraged me to try to join a professional fraternity that they were in. I was very hesitant, and I wasn't sure what I could possibly get out of it, but I gave it a shot. After all, if those that had befriended me were in the fraternity, then I figured that there were likely others like them.

The pledging process was difficult. No hazing or anything, just a bit overwhelming in terms of being around people. Even once i was a member, things were not usually easy. (I wound up drinking before some events just so I didn't feel quite so overwhelmed. Not recommended...but it is what I did.)

I got many opportunities to work on interacting with people, and made some friends, just by joining the fraternity. Was it all good, or all comfortable? No. It was also difficult at times. That being said, I think it was a decision that helped me a lot in the long run.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alpha_Epsilon_Pi

If you think you're up for it, I'd say give it a shot. If the atmosphere isn't what you had hoped for, you can always leave the pledging process.

Frats are just social groups. Unless you're a better socializer than 80% of the board, I would stay away from the frats...

I want to join Delta Tau Chi!

Tim

...why exactly?

The way I read this, it is like suggesting that if you aren't doing well in a class, you shouldn't talk to the professor.

In Frats, you buy friends. Friends you may be better off without. Also, they are about enforcing conformity, and losing you identity to be part of the "group." I don't know how this could go well for someone with AS...-IMO

The one misconception that many seem to have about fraternities (I held the same views before I knew a bit about them) is that they are all very much alike. For about half of my college career, the only view of frats that I had was that of the stereotypical "frat boy."

There are certainly numerous social fraternities where you are basically buying friendship, and where only those that conform to that fraternity's idea of what is "cool" are accepted. Not all fraternities are like this. It seems like many of the social ones are, but not even all social fraternities are like this.

I've also heard that different chapters for the same fraternity can differ a great deal. A guy I knew during college had initially been at a different school, and was friends with many people in a certain fraternity. When he transfered, he tried to get to know members of that fraternity at the school that I attended. He had told me that it was like being on a different planet, that they were nothing alike.

Professional fraternities tend to be quite different (in at least some ways) from social ones. For one, they are often co-ed. Not simply a bunch of Neanderthal males grunting, drinking alcohol, and trying to bed as many women as possible. They also bring together people of a similar background in terms of academic pursuits. In some ways they could be likened to clubs in high school, like language clubs, or chess club, or computer club, etc.

I said no because I have a very low opinion of people who are in fraternities and sororities.

To Me: They reinforce the fact that college is a major joke and the only reason people go is to party.

Once, a very long long time ago my parents told me that College use to be very very hard. I can't say that I agree with that today because 90% of the people I know from high school are going to college solely to party and of course get the degree.

I would agree with that. It was reasons like that I didn't join one. Also, the fact they put pledges through all sorts of demeaning, humiliating, and sometimes dangerous hazing rituals didn't exactly give me incentive to join either. As for professional fraternities, at my college, you had to be invited to join, and I'm not the kind of person who gets invited to join anything.

Another problem problem I think the college party image caused was the professors at my school looked down on the 18-22 year old students because they lumped all of us into the group who were just there to party, while they loved the midlife people going back to college. They basically thought if you were under 30 and in college, you were only there to party and treated us as such. I really wanted to learn and do well, but this bias against the younger set really made it hard to do so.

Though I can only speak for the one I was in, the "invite" process shouldn't be anything more than a formality.

Three rush events were held, in which people that were interested in joining would come out and try to meet the current brothers. I had a hard time with that before I joined, and I had a hard time with it even during my last semester there...the whole randomly talking to strangers thing has never been comfortable for me.

After that, the "eligibility" of the interested persons was examined. This had more to do with whether or not they had taken a certain number of classes towards the major the fraternity was for, and whether or not they had a passing GPA. A "closed" rush event was held after this, usually with all that qualified being invited back.

Lastly, the brothers would discuss whether or not they felt each individual should be given a chance to pledge. For the fraternity, and more specifically the chapter of that fraternity, that I was a part of, this was mainly to make sure that these prospective members would not reflect badly upon the fraternity, and that none of the brothers had had "bad" experiences with them. Things like academic dishonesty were of significance here, as well as things like whether or not the individuals had done anything against one of the brothers, specifically such as fighting, or harassment.

Not being socially adept was most definitely not a qualifier for someone to not be given an invitation. I know this for two reasons: I myself received an invitation, and the last semester there I had a little that was pretty socially inept as well. His reasons were different, he was a freshman in college after having been home schooled his entire life, but the cause isn't what matters. He was given a shot, and has gained a great deal from it.

Of course I can only speak for the chapter of the fraternity I was a member of, but it would be hard for me to believe that a professional fraternity would act like a social clique, only accepting those that they considered "worthy" based upon social standing and competency alone. That's not the purpose of professional fraternities, they aren't supposed to be social clubs.

Whose the better person, the one who has a social life and goes and does personal development and gets a good degree, or the person who gets the good degree? Think about it.

That completely puts the whole thing in black and white content.

Personally, I don't agree with the use of alcoholic beverages to enhance social situations. I don't drink of course, and so this is merely 100% my opinion.

I would say that most of my peers in college do not agree with the opinion stated above.

As to the question- Whatever option pays you the most.

...and this does not?