Professor's assumption

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In one of my classes I have to do some volunteer service and was placed in the international buddy program where you show an international student around and help them adjust to university and the city. My buddy is not very into this, he already knows his way around town and he answers my questions with monosyllabic answers. So I've beened worried that I wouldn't be able to fill the required hours.

I went to talk to my prof about it and he and I discussed some possible solutions and I thought the situation was resolved but the next day in class another student mentioned that they knew of a new international student who might want a buddy and the prof mentioned in passing in class that I might take on a second buddy. I was never asked so I thought it was just a suggestion but then the prof sent me an e-mail asking me to help plan a class movie night and mentioned that I had a second buddy.

I got really stressed about this because I didn't agree to it and the semester's almost over, I've got tons of assignments and a new buddy especially if they're actually interested in spending a lot of time with me is more than I can handle right now. I only have a few hours left for my class volunteer work and a new buddy would most certainly take up considerably more time.

I wrote my prof back expressing my confusion and he responded that he thought I had indicated that I would be interested and that he had already put my name forward. I was never asked if I would do this or if this was a good compromise for my situation and I never verbally or otherwise agreed to it.

So now I don't know what to do I'm getting really stressed because I don't know how to interact with my prof anymore and I'm worried that he thinks I'm trying to get out of completing the assignment.

What should I do?

Well, if you need X hours and you go to the professor and say "I don't think I will get X hours." And the professor says that there's someone else available, it seems like he thought you'd make the connection between needing more hours and the opportunity to receive them.

NT brains work like that, I think. Those of us with ASDs don't tend to make connections like that.

No I understand that but a new buddy would require more than X hours and I don't have the time for anything extra and I don't want to let someone who might actually benefit from some help down. I have no problem finishing the required hours.

Hello "Trickie",

I think that it might be beneficial for you to tell your professor exactly what you typed in your first message. I would apologize to the professor for potentially giving off the impression that I was willing to take on another student and that I am only able to commit to the remainder of the required hours. I would also say that I don't want him/her to think that I am trying to evade the full scale of my original commitment but I just don't have time for extra due to other obligations.

The main thing is not to beat around the bush and just tell him/her that you can not do it. You don't want to make a habit of letting people take advantage of your kindness or having you do things after you have made it clear that you do not have the time. Remember that this is not being an inconsiderate person; this is taking care of yourself.

Good luck, I hope everything works in your favor.

I second wigwam's excellent advice. Clarity of communication is key here. Also, make certain that you leave your next meeting with your professor with a clear understanding of your options for your assignment, and the potential consequences that attend them. At this point, it sounds like you have handled the situation appropriately, and if you communicate with your professor as you did in this post, your professor should be willing and able to work with you on reaching a solution. Good luck.