"You ask stupid questions."

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Now, before the ranting, I thought I was using a communication technique I actually read about as being effective - "mirroring." As in, demonstrating you understand and confirming instructions by repeating the message back to the speaker in your own words.
Apparently, not safe for work.
New (and short-term) job. Don't like it. Stressful situation anyways. I take this "mirroring" as a habit to make sure I understand and demonstrate to the other person that I do, but I'm also noticing I chatter/give feedback in this way because I'm trying to look normal.
So, as an example, I'm working in a care facility. I'm instructed to go and feed an incapacitated woman. My supervisor instructs me to take the food in to her room and feed her there. I reply with "okay, so it's fine to feed her sitting up?"
The supervisor looks at me like I just told her the sky is blue and says sarcastically "would I have just told you to if it wasn't? You ask stupid questions."
Yeah - there goes my connection. I shut my mouth/shut down for the rest of the shift. Stopped talking, stopped trying. If I'm going to be shot down for trying to mask the aspie traits, why even bother? I also didn't think it was acceptable for the supervisor to behave like that - there's no need to be aggressive and sarcastic, not to mention personally insulting, just because someone's communication style differs from yours - especially as I was being polite and cheerful.
Pretty much strengthened my idea that I need a career change - a job that focuses on tasks, not people. I wanted to believe that aspie people could work in communications-oriented jobs as successfully as NT people provided you learned the social language/learned to mimic, but now I'm not so sure. The overload of social-ness and people is making me feel like a freak.
How many people are in people-focused jobs as opposed to task-focused jobs? How d you feel the two compare for AS people?

Some people are jerks and It doesn't matter if we do something wrong or right, they will pick just to pick.

A task oriented job seems like an excellent decision.

I've done this at work too, and had it commented to me that it's weird that I repeat instructions back to people. I read somewhere that it's okay to do that, because people want you to do the work correctly. Except, then you get people saying that it's weird and not good. So how the heck so you say the 'right' things anyway? And what if you genuinely didn't understand what the instructions were?

I sympathise completely!

Had I asked a supervisor should I feed a bed ridden patient sitting up (if they had been sitting up during previous meal times, and had no surgery or test that needed for them to lay flat), all most all my supervisors would have been, "Like WTF have you been doing, feeding them on their backs?"

Stupid would have been a mild word. Law suit waiting to happen from aspiration pneumonia would most likely be in the front of their mind.

I guess I don't know why you asked about feeding the patient sitting up. I have fed patients sitting up in bed. Was the question about getting the person into a geriatric chair vs just keeping them in bed? (with HOB at close to a 90 degrees).

Chair vs bed is a valid question. Person coming back from surgery, we'd always asked if they had a spinal. If they did, we had to roll them on their side, and try to feed them (hated it, a huge mess and always worried about choking.)

I have worked with co workers who would have fed the person flat or near flat on their backs. They had no clue what the hell they were doing, and probably would have asked "should I sit them up?" I doubt you are like that at all.

Your question was incomplete at best, and worse (depending on which beast like supervisor I used to work with), could have have morphed into are you even qualified for the job scream fest.

People can suck, and health care is the worse. I've been SCREAMED at (through no fault of my own) by a variety of doctors, supervisors etc. Like my friend used to joke, "There's no crying in health care." because we'd all be in a fetal position if we took everything to heart.

I have a job (non health care), and the manager can't even manage a paper clip. I'm gutting it out until June, because that is when 6 months are up. She's an abusive. Thoughts go from the brain and out with mouth with no thought. Today the sky is blue, but tomorrow, in her world it will be purple. Though she won't tell you it's purple, and you will get shrieked at because you didn't know. I can't freaking mind reading, and I'll be glad when June 1 hits. Already have my letter of resignation typed.

I don't think task orientated vs people job makes much of a difference in the communications problems. My current job with psycho manager from hell is task orientated. Every day is some new FUBAR which she caused. I ask for clarification, and would be better off with a coin flip. Little Ms. Crazy could agree or the voices in her head convince her she said the exact opposite yesterday, and I am a moron.

I think it is how you ask for clarification, how you say it, do you sound confidant or does it come across as a "lost"? When I am lost (especially with Little Ms. Crazy), I say, "I didn't quite hear all that, can you please run it past me one more time."

My Aspie husband doesn't get mirroring at all. He always sounds confused and lost, even when he knows "you want A, B, C". Going through a shopping list with him, is an exercise on how good my blood pressure pills are working.

List: Milk, brown eggs, laundry soap (specific name brand), butter. Okay, it will take Fior 30 minutes to go over this list with me. We always buy milk by the half gallon (2L), I like brown eggs, but white are fine, butter-don't care what brand, and the laundry soap is specific. The list hasn't changed in 25 years, but Fior ALWAYS morphs it into a multi-question, clarification production. It borders on not worth it. By the end of it, I have a head ache, and frankly I'm not that freaking picky. I just tell him buy what he wants because I want to put my head through a wood chipper to stop the questioning about 4 grocery items.

Fior's problem is he treats every task with beyond anal retentive care. He never seems to have a base (like a never changing shopping list), where he can just go and do it. Maybe that is why the supervisor gets cranky. Some stuff should just be known "cold", and asking for clarification sends up red flags in their minds. Even at work, Fior never seemed to have a working base where he didn't need clarification. And his supervisor told him he asked stupid questions, , and when was he going to think for himself .

This NT feels your pain, just-lou. Been there, gotten abused by supervisors.

Hang in there.

One thing I noticed in life is that there are good people and bad people (I know, it's an obvious statement). Some are just less understanding and but, regardless, I believe it's more an issue of miscommunication and context.

You never know why he was so hot-headed; EVERYONE has problems in their lives and tend to vent out at others. Maybe some people just rub off on him the wrong way. But regardless, don't feel like you did something wrong, because you didn't. It was a simple, justified question. He's the one at fault for being so tempermental at a simple question. Perhaps maybe trying to explain more why you asked the question (i.e. scared of patient's welbeing) might've helped him understand.

This might sound far-fetched but have you thought about trying to explain your aspies to him? (something as simple as just saying you have a hard time with certain things)

Stay strong my friend! Tell us how it works out.