Confronting a former boss

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Hi:
I wanted to know if it's every okay to confront a former boss about the way they treated you as a way of forgiveness.

Why or why not?

I would say, 100%, just move on with your life.

Move on--it was just business.

I wrote a former boss who I have never seen eye to eye with because they did several things that I didn't approve of though it was supposed to be a place of supported employment.
1.They were never a good communicator and would often drop little hints by being nasty and sarcasm rather than do the professional thing by pulling me to the side.
2.They didn't understand my type of autism/ Asperger's though they had a child with severe autism.
3. They played a lot of favorites in the workplace and I wasn't one of their favorite people.
4. They were in their own little world and were very superficial and closed minded which bugged me.
5. I could never let them know when something bothered me without having my head being bitten off. They also swept things under the rug as well.

I was hurt about the way things went for a long time and I finally a letter of forgiveness to them to their postage home address. They wrote to me back on facebook and attacked me by accusing me of condemning their family and that I use my autism as an excuse for making it clear not to contact them in any manner or way ever again.

I am happy to be away from that but I was very hurt that they completely ignored what I had to say and accused me of things that I never did.

1. I didn't condemn their family- that's a load of crap.
2. I don't use my autism an excuse and again that's a bunch a crap. If I used my autism as an excuse, I would not be where I am today.

I figured if anything, the ball was in their court which they so gladly deflated. In the meantime, I blocked them from messaging me and did this.

1. I imagined that I was dealing with a spoiled six-year old who had just found out that they were being punished.
2. I imagined that I was putting them in their room and shutting the door behind them while they were having their tantrum.

Yeah, there's not much that can come out of this. You could write a letter and not send it.

Consider two options:

a) They were a jerk and still are a jerk. They won't respond well, as in the examples above.
b) They were a jerk and have turned around. This is the one you're dreaming will happen, and it'll be a nice exchange. It's just not likely.

In reality most people are not so much jerks as mixed up people, like all of us, doing the best we can, doing things that are hard or uncomfortable for us. Imagine if you or I were in the boss position, having to play all the interpersonal politics of running a group of people and keeping managers happy. My employees sure would have gripes about my failings, that's for sure. If one of them wrote back to me years later, I'd be either miffed or roll my eyes and say I was so messed up back then, and I was as lost as you were.

In other words, I wouldn't expect bosses to be perfect or even sufficient, and I wouldn't expect them to respond nicely from the past.

1. I am not going to let this last interaction with them ruin my life
2. As a way of not trying to stay bitter, I am not going to talk about what happened or what I am working to forgive them for. Otherwise, it's going to keep me angry and keep me at their level of resentment and that's what I don't what.

What I do know is that I appreciate the current arrangements and all the amazing people and events that have happened and are too come. What's more is that the old boss is not here and neither have we seen each other, nor interacted have we interacted in 4 and a half years. So if they want to judge and talk to me like then good for them.