Supervisor was horrible to me yesterday

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Joe90
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23 Jul 2021, 6:51 pm

I do a good job at sweeping but yesterday I came into work and he was in a foul mood, then he had a go at me because of a bit of rubbish (trash) was found in the middle of the floor the next morning, but before I shut the door I checked the floor first and there wasn't any rubbish left, and I work nights so nobody was going in there after me until my supervisor arrives the next morning. It's a mystery where this bit of rubbish came from and I wonder if my supervisor planted it there for an excuse to yell at me, to take his stress out on me. I'd arrived to work with a positive attitude but as soon as he had a go at me I answered back and then I felt unhappy after that. He didn't talk to me the rest of the night, until he had another go at me for leaving my equipment "in his way" - which isn't in his way, it's the safest and only place I can put my stuff while I'm working, and I didn't know he had to get there to change a light bulb, also he could have easily just moved it himself. Where am I supposed to put my equipment? In the middle of the yard where people will trip over it? In his work space? Stupid prick. :x
And then he had the cheek to call me grumpy to my colleagues. Well HE'S the one who made me grumpy. I wasn't grumpy before.

Yes he's stressed but then so am I. And no I'm not leaving the job. I like it there, it suits me. I just don't like being accused of things I didn't do and being used as a punch bag when I'm the sort of worker who's reliable, self-sufficient, pleasant, get my head down and do a good job. I don't need this unnecessary stress at work when I have enough stress in my life as it is. :evil:


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Lady Strange
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27 Jul 2021, 9:32 pm

I'm sorry your supervisor was being awful. It's especially galling when you know you are a good employee and do a good job, but that can't be good enough. It would be real nice if jobs didn't also come with all the other people's issues and mistreatment.


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28 Jul 2021, 5:21 pm

People who never emotionally developed properly in childhood get in foul moods, they get stressed over petty things, I know because it is me, I do not bully people though, although I have been manipulative in the past and called bully twice, verbally, I wanted something from someone, some help and was a bit pushy.

I despise bullying.

Your supervisor is a grown wounded child, which is ok so long as grown wounded children are aware they need to grow up and take measures to heal their wounds with support.

Condescending pepole, people who take out stress on others, these are all GWC's grown wounded children.

Don't make the same mistake as me by absorbing his s**t and taking it as your own, that is misuse of our natural empathy.
Like, empathy turned on it's head, instead of people asking to confide in us, they dump on us, that is stealing energy.

How about another job with a non toxic colleague(s) or a change of career doing something you love, even if its less money it will be worth it surrounded by like minded people or on your own as your own boss.

He projected his grumpiness onto you as he could not admit his own. He did it in front of colleagues to leach energy off you, humiliation is a handy tool for GWC's.

Look up "Petty tyrant" you will learn lots.



Joe90
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28 Jul 2021, 8:24 pm

Quote:
How about another job with a non toxic colleague(s) or a change of career doing something you love, even if its less money it will be worth it surrounded by like minded people or on your own as your own boss.


I do love my job. But unfortunately you can't choose the people you work with, and there will always be someone who is ill-mannered and makes you uncomfortable. If I left this job I'll probably end up somewhere even worse, like I could start somewhere working with toxic, bitchy young girls that I can't fit in with. I work with all guys here, and I do like working with guys. But the supervisor just happens to be someone who gets in bad tempers and takes it out on others.

I get bad days too but I don't take it out on others. I was in a terrible emotional state one day last week, I had a sudden bout of depression and felt irritable and fed up with life. I verbally told my colleagues how I was feeling, but I still spoke to them with respect. But when I'm having one of those down days the only person I take it out on is myself, not other people.

I've noticed that often NT guys don't verbally tell you that they're in a bad mood because they are worried or stressed about something, and they don't admit it either. They just go around yelling and snapping at people and you just have to put up with it until they perk up.


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CloudSea
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06 Sep 2021, 6:10 am

Aww, hope you're feeling better now! You sound like a nice person with a solid work ethic. Yeah, I agree, try to be the bigger person in this situation. Responding in kind to aggressive supervisors often makes things worse, unfortunately.


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SharonB
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07 Sep 2021, 9:33 pm

Joe90 wrote:
I've noticed that often NT guys don't verbally tell you that they're in a bad mood because they are worried or stressed about something, and they don't admit it either. They just go around yelling and snapping at people and you just have to put up with it until they perk up.

Finally at near 50, I figured out to say to my NT husband who does exactly that: "I'm sorry you are so frustrated. [If appropriate:] Can I help you with something?" If he says "no" and continues to grump I then say "OK, well then can you dial it back or I'm going to need to take a break [away from him]." Granted this is a relation, not my boss - but it's a start for me.

My best success was when a guy outside a bar was yelling profanities at me and my husband from his vehicle and threatening us (with a rack full of guns behind him). I asked if he was having a bad day which completely disarmed him (pun intended) and my empathy and ability for compassion won. Again, hard to do with a boss, b/c aren't they supposed to be "better"? It stinks when employees have more (intellectual) EQ than their bosses.