Fifty pounds

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May 15 , 2025

Still no email from the 567# cabinet

Today the microwave stopped working and I bought a new one

One and a half short blocks to the bus stop and two blocks from the bus stop to my house

50 pounds

Struggling and trembling

I am never going to try to carry appliances on public transportation again unless something really unusual occurs. I am just way too weak


________________


Have not heard anything from the 567 pound cabinet

Have not gotten made redundant from work yet


Maybe tomorrow

the night that i bought the microwave, could barely sleep. woke up arms and shoulders sore. back fine.

next night, slept great.

night after that, could barely sleep. sunday, for a couple seconds only, a flash of pain went down my back.

it is now monday. arms and shoulders sore. back fine.

Haven't heard from the 567# cabinet

May 24, Saturday, 2025

Home depot has bad communication

Still no email

Considering getting a colonoscopy just in case they do email and require a doctor signature for something

But afraid an unsedated Colonoscopy will hurt

Health insurance requires patients to have drivers. If no driver, colonoscopy has to be unsedated

Kaisers colonoscopy directions said, take a shower before the colonoscopy

I tried to look up, doctor refused to do colonoscopy due to my inadequate hygiene. Nothing came up

Can barely lift fifty pounds of concrete

Still no email from the five hundred sixty seven pound cabinet

Today I loaded a window with a customer. I was afraid I would drop it.

Been getting much physically weaker lately.

Pretty soon I will have to be Cashier (puke!)I am so ashamed of myself

I hate having to beg other servants to lift something for me.

tomorrow's june 4, 2025. that's exactly one year after home depot had the nerve to tell me to get a doctor to fill out a form.

on the other hand, march 5, 2025, (former) ASM javier had the nerve to tell me that a certain company would email me within three business days about the work accommodations. it is now june 3, and still no email. during the meeting, i pulled out a copy of the job description and showed javier it said "lift fifty pounds", not "lift a litterbox".

home depot's communication is so disorganized, like Grapevine or Telepathy.

Still haven't heard from the fifty pound rocks

Yesterday loaded two sixty pound bags of concrete. Did not have difficulty. Tattle tale tom was standing right there but I didn't want to have to deal with him. Just because he has not been scorekeeping lately, doesn't mean that he never will again.

8pm, 6 dulcolax

Back kind of hurt this morning. Then, Litterbox, breakfast, litterbox, nap, litterbox. Back pain stopped, for now.

My doctors note expires today

Nobody has told me to get it renewed

If I have to renew it I want the lifting limit to be 30 pounds not 50 pounds

50 pounds doesn't sound like a lot but 50 pounds of concrete is harder to lift than a barbell. Usual the customer gets more than one bag of concrete. 42 in a pallet. And sometimes the customer can't or won't open the back flap of the truck and you have to lift the concrete to shoulder level (biceps curl)

Sometimes back hurts day after work

And afraid and worried about long term disability injuries and pain and et cetera

doctor's note expired last week. thus far, nobody told me anything about it. i don't know if that means that they will never tell me anything about it, or if they will tell me about it next week.

on saturday, a 60 year old woman customer and i tried to move two pieces of lumber from a five foot stack to an "h" cart. i almost dropped it. clumsy (suspected dyspraxia) and i breathed hard. the customer was not taller than me and she wasn't younger or male either. another customer offered help and the woman and i both said "yes, please". (thank buddha the woman did not tattle to Supervisor Queen Angela W (rolls eyes). queen angela has been just "looking" for a reason to write up my worthless corpse. (rolls eyes)

lifted a couple bags of fifty pound concrete a couple weeks ago. doesn't seem that heavy. but back pain the next day.

Could not lift the bag of rocks. The 71 year old customer had to hold the other end.

Lifting seven plywood inside the car took a lot of energy even though the customer even shorter and skinnier than me

Rapidly getting weaker and weaker and was never strong in the first place

Today, Customer Service called a lot attendant and I came. He wanted me to load a Litterbox and a countertop. (I hate how I have to carry a walkie talkie even though almost all the calls are over fifty pounds). Then I had to wait for the DHRM Patrick and ASM ac to load them for me. Felt useless and guilty.

Then Manager Cristina asked me to go to a customers car and lift something and I asked the customer how much it weighed. He said one hundred pounds. I told Cristina about the doctors note and she said "don't worry about it"

Yeah well I am worried about getting made redundant because plenty of rodents much stronger faster more coordinated than me and better socially and emotionally. Afraid of getting made redundant

yesterday loaded

Mantis Tiller

ten bricks

one lumber. felt like it was way under fifty pounds, but the customer and Old Man Roy and i had a lot of difficulty putting it into her car.

Even when I carry bananas or groceries home from the supermarket they feel heavy

Pretty soon I have to drag a wagon, like the loser that I am

Financially broke
Physically weak
Dissociated
Socially awkward
Emotionally fragile
Surreal