Perceived as arrogant at work?

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It depends on who happens to be my boss at that moment. Some have felt the need to try and "put me in my
place", because they saw my logic and intelligence as a threat. Others realize that if you leave me alone, I do a great job at whatever task I have at hand and that trying to micromanage me only results in poor performance.

One boss who never could win an argument with me gave me one of the greatest underhanded compliments I have ever received. When introducing me to the owner of the company (one of the largest franchisees for this company in the US), all he said about me was" Don't argue with him. He's smarter than you, you won't win." To this day, I wish I had it framed and put on a plaque! As to this boss, he pretty much let me do what I wanted and stayed out of the store I was managing. I even got him to let me run prices higher than the other stores in the area because I thought he was pricing them too low (He was, my idea worked.) In the end though, managing a pizza restaurant was not something that was well suited to my needs. The expectation of 60 hours a week and a long commute (for a $600 salary) and the constant tug of war between my boss, the customers and the employees- where I was the rope -was too much on me. I took a job as a delivery driver for a competitor and managed to make the same money for 35 hours a week. Had I not done so, I would have suffered an emotional breakdown from all the stress.

While I could run numbers and had an enviable reputation for NEVER getting a 800 number complaint call, my inability to delegate and command respect from my (male) employees made my life in management a living hell. Funny thing is, the female employees all had my back and treated me well. I guess not being an alpha male and having no experience with women and sex made it near impossible for me to ever be respected by other males. I knew I was quitting a few months before I did and I tried acting more assertive at that point, figuring I had noting to lose. The amazing thing was that it actually worked, to a degree. By the end, the males saw me as more hard-nosed (not natural for me) and listened to what they were told to do (until that point, I was trying logic, reason and kindness, the sort of treatment I had always wished for and thought all humans wanted. Silly me!) They knew that if they didn't, they would be sent home or fired as I had a reputation for doing that by then. Still though, it was not my natural habitat as I prefer not to be the center of attention or in charge of a lot of people.

I'm a chef at the Ritz, and one of its executive chefs, to say the least. I'm not exactly liked by my subs, because I am perceived to be bossy, which I am not. I would rather consider myself upfront, but others would think otherwise.

Hahaha.

I think the perception of arrogance may come from people not expecting true things to be communicated so bluntly as we tend to do. NTs seem to cloak the things they say in a veneer of social acceptability; they are able to figure out the social impact of a given thing, whereas we are focused on the truth of the fact itself, which is completely separate to our minds from the aspect of how someone will take what they hear emotionally.

It really is a different kind of mental processing.

If only everyone were an Aspie, I swear life would be so logical and much less stressful

For the last 4.5 years, I have been a graphic designer in a screenprint department of a sheltered workshop for individuals with cognitive disabilities. Surprisingly (or not so surprisingly), Asperger's is as totally misunderstood here as in any other place. I am 29 and trying to get myself formally diagnosed so my NT co-workers live under the assumption that I am NT even though I am 99% sure that I am on the spectrum. I dread my annual review all year: it never fails to come up that people find me arrogant and awkward to talk to and that I struggle with keeping my emotions in check (meltdowns) and handling stress and anxiety. I am too much of a perfectionist and that is perceived as both positive and negative. I also don't seem to pick up on all of the social & rules regarding the chain of command without them being blatantly spelled out to me. I can't help but feel that this keeps me from getting the raise that I should every year and it really stings to hear, like I am being told that being myself is wrong. I like the work, but want to leave so frequently. I am scared of making the change and also of what kind of recommendations they will make for me in the future; this is the only job I've had remotely related to my college degree.

Maybe it's not quite the right reasons, but I secretly hope I am diagnosed just so I can give my employer a reason why I do not fit in their box despite trying SO hard...

I really feel for you. I have been there many times myself - feeling that no matter how hard I work at being upright, responsible and diligent, others perceive me as flawed or unpleasant. I have tried very hard to "step outside" of myself and see myself from others' perspectives - even to the extent of watching home video of myself that I filmed using a tripod, talking to others or just doing whatever, so that I can get a "look" at myself from the outside. I can see how I might come across as stiff, awkward, not cool ... but I can't see how I could possibly be someone else. I'm me, you're you, and whoever is critical of your traits is who they are too. Acceptance and understanding - and reasonable accommodation - are essential

I wish you the best outcome in this situation. And I agree that spectrum issues remain very misunderstood in much of society.

I've been perceived arrogant on occasion.

Have thought about trying to correct the perception, but I'm not sure the way my brain tries to word it is any better... I'm thinking 'arrogant' means I think I'm better than you. I just think I'm good. Don't think anything about you. (Ha ha. These days, at least I realize that wouldn't be taken well.)

Other times, I'm completely neurotic and people still thought I came off high and mighty. *shrug* Figuring out why people think what they think is tricky.

No, more like extremely weird and somehow they're extremely cautious with me, because they feel I might "snap" and scream at them, which is something I know I won't do to people I don't know very well. But I seem to give off that vibe to NTs that I'm extremely tempered for some reason.

Someone might just confuse aspie social malfunctions with arrogance.

Which is why this forum is called Wrong Planet

Is this sarcasm? I mean, even in the post you say "I'm never wrong". Isn't that what arrogance is, by definition: the belief that you are never wrong?

I've been told many times that I'm perceived as arrogant since I was a teen. I mean, I don't want to say that people are wrong, because of course nobody wants to think of themselves as arrogant. But I will say that the perception always comes as a surprise to me. I think that sometimes, intelligence and forthrightness are intimidating for people. Everyone says they want people to be honest, but I think a lot of people have trouble handling someone who is honest all the time. I'm never consciously trying to show people up or act like I'm better than anyone, but I guess people feel that way a lot.

Definitely. And no matter how much I bend over backwards to act nice, or deferential, or prepare long polite rationales explaining my decision-making processes.

I got this in school also, and I was told then that it was because of stupid things like looking at people after I got a good grade and somehow not making the right face.

Part of it is, I think, that logical confidence and access to photographic memory and visual computation is unfathomable to most and therefore considered a sign of cavalier smugness. The other part is facial signalling and communications difference.

I'm not ashamed of my own intelligence or displaying it whereas I think most NTs are scornful of outward displays of intelligence. I don't care if I am seen as arrogant to be quite honest because any arrogance I might have is often wiped out by having very low self esteem when among NTs, where it's social ability as opposed to intelligence that you are invariably rated on.
I think a certain amount of arrogance has probably kept me alive as it's meant I've never been completely downtrodden by society as I have an inner belief that I'm more intelligent than a large percentage of others. Whether it's true or not, the belief is important as it means I maintain a certain amount of confidence no matter how badly I'm treated by others. I know I've been able to use my intelligence to help others and I know this fact alone makes me a worthwhile person who is of use to society. I often like using big words around NTs to point up the fact that I value my intelligence and if it annoys them good!

I never been called arrogant at work. I've been told that I'm very eager to please & am polite even to coworkers who are difficult & have attitudes. However I've been accused of "acting like a boss" before by a couple slackers in my department; I have a very good work attitude(workaholic tendencies) & I was kind of an unofficial backup to my supervisor; I helped plan things & passed messages along & tried to get the work done. Slackers were just mad that I was asking them to do something.

Personally, I have many thoughts about how people perceive the way I interact. While It can be said that I take my job " way too serious." I value different things, which are positive and in accordance with a professional mindset. I have a wall full of awards to prove it. I am extreme in my zeal and have suggested that given trends are not conduscent to professional behavior. I cannot help but feel overwhelmed by being forced out of my current job, which is still on going. My boss is very aware I have aspergers, while my case is mild it does tend to get in the way considering the nature of the business I am in. We deal with people a whole lot. I've not had one complaint about my performance in front of clients, only co-workers. While I have made attempts to be jovial with people..... I still do not have friends at the work place. I also have advised my boss of certain goings on, behaviors which should NOT be going on at any workplace. I have never mentioned ANY names of individuals which actually annoyed my boss. What beats me is that knowing the difference between right and wrong.... I've been relegated to the periphery financially, socially, and professionally. In my industry, this is called being "frozen out." I cannot conclude this is arrogance which has led me to be treated this way...

A lot of the younger coworkers dislike me because they think I'm arrogant, rude and too blunt. But the elder coworkers appreciate my hard work. I'm fairly distant and only open up to more friendly behaviour if I like the work an individual is producing; oftentimes the younger coworkers are lazy and/or do not concentrate on their tasks (typically by texting) which makes me quite angry and can result in me snapping at them to get back to work. I understand that that can cause some friction in the workplace, but hell, they shouldn't be doing it! Whatever happened to professionalism :/