High-functioning, yet unfit for work

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Do you want me to answer that honestly?

Of course they don't want to hire you. They're afraid that if they do, and it doesn't work out, then they're in for a massive law-suit (not saying that you would do that). The ADA is the worst thing that could've happened to disabled people (okay, I think I over did the hyperbole there, but my point still stands).

I had the same fear of calling people... yet now I do it several times a day without a thought! It's amazing what you're capable once you do it a few times and get over your fears!

Just because you answer the phone now doesn't mean you're great at it. And it's ridiculous to think of an aspie doing well in a job that involves any sort of "phone marketing" or customer service that would be difficult in person.

I've been in the same situation as the OP for OVER FIVE YEARS. Looking in from the outside, nosy NTs in particular are quick to argue that you as an aspie can do all sorts of jobs. As someone with sluggish cognitive tempo too, people tend to ascribe laziness to slowness and see very valid reservations about one's fitness for a job as not wanting to work and be independent. Gosh! It's so wonderful not being independent, not being able to date intelligent women (due to lack of independence), and having to relocate every 2 years when your mother decides to change jobs.

Why is that ridiculous? It's a spectrum disability. Everyone is different.

Agreed. I'm not great with phones but I use them daily in my job. I find that I have quite a lot of fear around calling places up, but answering the phone at work is okay because I'm just answering questions, and I know I'll probably know the answer and if not I know what to do (refer to someone else or ask them if I can call them back) Despite having autism, aspies are still as varied as anyone else.

Agreed. I've worked in IT for 8 years, 6 of them had help center duties. It's not that hard because I know what to expect. They are calling because they have a problem. I have a solution.

We aren't chit chatting.

Notice I said "phone marketing" and "service that would be difficult in person." Marketing, high-pressure sales is not a job for 99% of aspies. Even for the 1%, it's not a good assumption to make, especially when trialing a job would require moving or otherwise destabilizing one's life. For instance, based on my education I could get a job in communications or PR, but I would lose the job within days and be left with a lease in an area far away from any family. That kind of gamble should not be taken on such a reach of an assumption.

The follow-up replies refer to direct questions on topics of expertise. Of course an aspie can be assured in taking a job like that, if they have secure knowledge of the subject matter. However, to exhort an aspie to take on something that goes beyond that is ridiculous. I did a political phone bank one night and I nearly broke down in the nonprofit's office. It was humiliating. I have had much phone experience, even working the main phone line and front desk for a major national environmental nonprofit. However, that doesn't mean I was good at it, nor that it should be a recommended job for me or someone like me. Many phone-centered jobs regularly go beyond hellos and direct questions.

I am in the same spot as you, OP....... I can empathize. It's been one of my wishes, to get a job; but there many outside factors that keep me from doing so, for the most part.

slowly starving to death under a bridge someplace is always at the back of my mind.

I want to ask, do you have any special interests? What are they? Are there some things you are very good at or know a lot about, even if they don't immediately appear to be useful in a job situation? Because there are a lot of ways of earning money which don't require you to have a mainstream job - you would be amazed by some of the weird as heck things some people do to make a living.

Self-employment can work well for people with ASDs because we can tailor things to our own strengths and avoid the weaknesses as far as possible (for example, you can run a business which only has email or instant messenger communication, rather than a phone - that's not in any way unusual for small online businesses). Of course, this option has its own challenges, such as managing finances, but I find the freedom is worth it and that I am generally able to structure things so they are manageable for me. On the other hand, having a job - which happened to be in retail - was absolutely awful and I could barely cope with it. I am really hoping that I will be successful enough that I won't have to try to enter a NT workplace again.

So, rather than trying to infiltrate the NT world and lamenting about not being able to perform the way they do, try studying the strengths you have and constructing your own. It is possible!