Waitressing...? Is it for aspies?

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Huge social component, high stress, memory, lots of noise, in a word, no.

Huge social interaction of the worst kind (multi-tasking of social interaction in a highly stressful environment, having to be nice and normal and handle conflict with lots of grace and diplomacy), motor skills fine and gross, speed, heavy visio-spatial requirements, in short perfect NVLD hell.

I agree with this post.

I had a similar experience. I had a day job in an office as an administrator but I was giving up work to go to study so needed to save. I answered an ad for a bar maid and ended up working part time. I've also worked as a waitress.

That's how I overcame my natural shyness. I guess I also looked on it like acting, playing a part as a bubbly barmaid and smiley servile waitress.

You end up being drawn into small talk with other customers and with colleagues, so it helps develop those skills. As a result of that, you get used to talking to strangers and meeting new people.

In my case, it was because I didn't really have much choice, I was no longer living with or supported by my family, so if I needed money, I had to earn it myself, I didn't have anyone else to rely on.

But in hindsight, I believe it did help me develop social skills that I had been lacking.

And at some point, I kind of realised, am I pretending to be confident and sociable? Or have I become confident and sociable.

It can boost your confidence to realise that you can do something quite challenging, that is outside your comfort zone.

What do you have to lose? If you get sacked, you can try to find another waiting or bar or shop job somewhere else. They tend to be fairly easy to get.

I think it's better to develop and practise social skills in a job that doesn't really matter, instead of waiting till you've graduated and you're trying to get a job in a career you really want and then finding you don't have the social skills you need to please an interviewer at an IT company or a bank or law firm or engineering consultancy or whatever.

If you're a true aspie, I think any job that requires face-to-face is not for you. Key word being face-to-face. Phone and email is ok. But something that requires you to be personable is not for you.

I think you will quickly miss the deli counter (I worked in a deli too). When you're accessible (within grabbing distance), men try to hug and touch and kiss. I tolerate this from only one or two very elderly old men who seem sweet and harmless, but to be honest, it still bothers me. I am a cashier, so I still have a (smaller,lower) counter. If I had to endure men trying to touch me *more*...well, I don't think I could handle it.

Also, I'm a control freak, and waitressing doesn't seem very controlled.

I think you will quickly miss the deli counter (I worked in a deli too). When you're accessible (within grabbing distance), men try to hug and touch and kiss. I tolerate this from only one or two very elderly old men who seem sweet and harmless, but to be honest, it still bothers me. I am a cashier, so I still have a (smaller,lower) counter. If I had to endure men trying to touch me *more*...well, I don't think I could handle it.

Also, I'm a control freak, and waitressing doesn't seem very controlled.

Cleveland is awful in so many ways.. i worked as a dietary aide and couldt get a waitressing job, the y didnt consider dietary aide 'waitress experience!" my friend is a PH D and couldnt get hired as a waitress. I have held very good jobs in prestigious law firms and was fired for 'trying so hard but making too many mistakes'. It is very frustrating and totally exhausting to have had 40 jobs.

YES! i got offered a seasonal job at yellowstone natl park, wonderful, thought it would be wildnerness and isolated, was greeted with terriblybjerky loud drunken louts across the hallway i complained about them when they wouldnt go to sleep at 1:30 am and they called me a 'btch'.. nice greeting.. many angry people in the worldbut they say WE are the problem?? i didnt think i could serve people and this yellowstone job required cleaning the rooms.. i went all the way there 2000 miles away once, to leave the first day early morn, dragging my very heavy suitcase miles down a deserted road.. aaah

Yes you can. I'm actually a flight attendant if you can believe that. I deal with people all the time, though my way of doing so is quite different. I dont actually interact on kind of personal level so I manage. I just avoid chitchat and then typically find my corner to retreat too. Not sure if that helps at all.

When I discovered I had AS, I told my mom, and after a lengthy discussion we realized that she displayed most of the symptoms as well...particularly in her youth. Anyway, she was poor and needed to quit high school and join the workforce to help support the family, so her options for work were pretty small, and basically consisted of service work. She became a waitress. She told me that her first two days she was too afraid to go out and take anyone's orders, and she hid in the kitchen! (mercifully, her boss was a truly kind soul). She of course finally forced herself to go out there and, unbearable as it was, she slowly began to become skilled at dealing with people...as she says it 'playing the game' (which also sounds very AS to me). One of her 'games' was, when she was dealing with a customer she knew wouldn't tip (another perception skill she acquired with experience), she would be as cloyingly sweet and attentive as she could, and if they left her a quarter, she would feel that she 'beat' them...she 'won'. I heard those stories a long time ago, and they were very valuable in helping me to learn how to socialize a necessary amount, and charm those I needed to charm enough to function in the real world. It's still exceedingly difficult for me most of the time(and I could never imagine being a waiter to this day), but it does feel sweet when I too achieve my moments of victory. I suppose all I am trying to say is yes, you can most likely do it if you need to...in this case necessity being the mother of re-invention.

So that's why I always made lousy tips? I always wondered.