3 years down they dont want me

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I complained to HR about the way I was treated during appraisal
i was made to cry and then grilled non stop for hour and half

I have been asked to come for exit formalities
and supervisor called me up asking me to fill 20 forms about students
as they will be doing some research work

I feel if i go for exit formalities they will humiliate me more saying
that i am not good enough, students havent done well and their research says
i lag behind

so i have decided not to go for exit and let them keep my salary, my PF
and i dont need all that

In NT land...crying during a meeting/review...

Especially if you are a woman, is viewed as a form of manipulation. I'm not surprised the woman continued.

I had that happen to me once during a performance review. The professor bellowed, "Why the hell are you crying? Are you trying to throw the review? Why are you being so unprofessional? There is no need for a grown woman to cry during a review" Sort of like that movie line, "There is no crying in baseball. "

I know they uspet you, but they probably viewed your crying as manipulating the situation, and decide to ignore it and proceed with the discussion anyway.

Believe me, I cry. I just save it for at home.

ya and now they are calling me and telling me i am doing this for sympathy
its unprofessional to reveal what happened during review to anyone thats what they are saying
they feel i should have kept quiet and walked away with my money

I'm going to try some "tough love" here, and please bear in mind that I'm in the USA, so I don't know what options you have where you live.

1. For several pages your posts read like what we call a "pity party." We get the point that you are being treated horribly and it hurts. You don't have to keep rehashing it. You seem 1,000% fixated on how miserable everything is, and you don't seem to be doing anything to GROW past that. Nothing we suggest is going to help you if you can't find it within yourself to try and help yourself.

2. Do you have the right to have someone else with you during all of this? An advocate? A lawyer? A family member? You should not be facing these people alone in your condition. You come across as someone near-incapable of managing their own affairs, and you should not be trying to deal with this situation on your own if you can't handle it.

If they need to do an exit interview. SHUT DOWN. Go in, answer their questions. If they get abusive, politely say you will not accept rude behavior and will consider the interview over if they become abusive. They should not be able to withhold a penny of your pay because you don't do the exit interview or because you end it because they become abusive.

If they have fired you, tears won't matter at this point, so don't give them up for them. I think you are operating from the idea that you can save your job at this point, but it seems that point is long past.

My husband says give them left and right dont give up on them
but i told him i wont be doing that i will keep a professional approach

you are right i should face them headstrong and if they get abusive
i should ask them to shut up

but i have decided that i will not go to finish exit formalities
and i dont want the PF money neither previous months salary
i dont want the job back

they hurt my soul