Why does my supervisor do this?

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I am not planning on leaving my job. And definitely not going into retail with crowds and screaming kids. No way. I wish people would stop advising me to just leave.

The supervisor actually had a meeting with the boss the other week and he seems to have mellowed since, so I reckon somebody said something or the boss found out or something.

Please, it is not a problem any more. I think there's always going to be at least 1 jerk at every job you go to, so if I left this job and went into retail I'll probably be making the biggest mistake of my life, being so I never want to work in retail unless I was jobless and had no choice. But it's been confirmed that my job is safe and always will be, no matter how tough this recession is going to get. So I'm staying put, supervisor being a jerk or not.

Just an update: the supervisor has been found out and he is in big trouble, apparently. I don't think he knows it yet, but it's what I heard in the office. So s**t is about to go down.

What I'm worrying about is how he'll react. He's the type of person who is "married to his job" and loves taking charge, and I think he has anger issues if things don't go his way. So I hope he doesn't try to get revenge on any of us. I know how some people's minds work. What they should think is different to what they do think. What they should think is: "I've been fired but I deserve it", but what they do think is: "I've been fired and it's made me angry because I couldn't get away with what I was doing." So they blame everyone else but themselves.
See, the mentality of some people is completely illogical. People who do bad things want to get away with it, and when they don't get away with it they throw a tantrum and blame everyone else. And that's exactly how the supervisor is going to react.

Hopefully, this clown is on the way out. That’s very good news.

Now, about the possibility of him trying to get revenge . . . if it was me and I was worried about potential violence, I might mentally plan and rehearse a very brief statement, such as, “I need to take care of something,” and plan to walk calmly to an area which has more people.

If he tries to fire someone on the way out, I suspect he will not be taken seriously by the organization.

Now, another possibility is that they might just give him a good talking to and/or place him on probation. Some organizations seem almost pathologically afraid of firing anyone, and the higher the person is, the more afraid they seem to be.

So, please take a deep breath. You’re not quite free of this jerk yet.

But I hope you are!

I did have the chance to get him fired last week but I refused. When he's not in a bad mood yelling at me about something, he's flirting instead. But he has a habit of getting up close, and while his actions are harmless, someone had reported him for being too close under COVID reasons. But the big boss thought they were reporting him for sexual harassment. So I said no and that they were just concerned because he was breaking the 2-metre rule and not wearing a mask. So the big boss said that if I did confess that the supervisor was sexually harassing then the supervisor would have been fired the same day. But I said no, it is not sexual harassment, it is just harmless flirting that I don't take a lot of notice of.
So I basically had the chance of getting him fired, and I could have played it on a bit and said that his playfulness was making me uncomfortable, but I felt like it would be a false accusation against him, and I didn't want to be the one responsible for him being fired. The gossip would spread very rapidly around the workplace and it would probably be something I'd regret for the rest of my life.
However, if he was touching my butt or between the legs then I would have confessed, but he didn't go as far as that so I just shrugged it off as playfulness. Sometimes I take that sort of thing as a compliment, because there's an older woman who works there and he doesn't flirt with her (because she's not that attractive).

But like I said, they are now on to him about other things like slacking in his work, causing delays, chronic disorganisation, and damaging equipment. I think he might be getting early onset dementia, because he keeps making repeated mistakes that he never made before, and it's costing the company a lot of money. But whenever I say this, other people don't take me seriously. But I know a lot about dementia because I used to work with people with it. It's kinda scary, because if you have a brain disease like dementia in a bus depot, you could end up accidentally killing someone. It happened before at another bus depot; someone forgot to put the handbrake on one of the buses and the bus moved and someone got stuck in front of it and they got squashed against a brick wall and died in hospital.

It’s good that you told the truth, that you didn’t say the flirting and playfulness was harassment.

You know, it almost seems like they were looking for a reason to fire him. I mean, one would think that causing delays, being disorganized, and damaging equipment would be more than enough. Especially that last one. But maybe they don’t feel they had the one big incident.

If you witness something else, please consider reporting it, including asking to file a formal written report, but of course a brief, calm report. I personally have struggled with not being brief enough, and people seem to object to that more than they should. I still think it needs to be explanatory enough.

If someone else witnesses it, too, it’s probably 50-50 whether they wish to report it as well.

I guess realistically the best to hope for is (?) another property damage incident in which no one is hurt? I mean, that’s better than someone getting hurt.

Sounds like one of those jerk supervisors that thinks that the only way to ensure people are productive is to get angry with them and crack the wip, and to find at least some fault in what they do so they can justify their own position by telling people to be and do better. Hence fabricating mistakes you'd made, just to feel like he's sure being a big special boss man making sure you're told you missed a spot and need to do better. Lame. He's a loser of a boss and human being & sounds like he knows it and is miserable so takes it out on happy people like you.

Not much you can change about him. Just continue to do your job and try not to let his stupid crap bother you so much. Just know that he's an unhappy loser and he knows it. Feel sad for him even. And carry on being happy and doing your thing. That's about all you can do, really.

Really good points. I had a "supervisor" years ago who micro-managed and hyper-analyzed me for two years. (I think I mentioned this earlier on the thread; please forgive me if I'm repeating myself.) The only things that kept me going were commiserating co-workers, loving family, and the knowledge that I would outlast her. I loved my job and knew I was good at it. I reminded myself that she likely had a personality disorder and I didn't want to be the kind of person she'd likely approve of, even if I could. Of course, it baffled me that other perfectly respectable staffers seemed to genuinely bond with her, but she seemed to show them a different side of her, especially respect. It may have been related to rank, which I guess she treasured more than most. She really was a wicked snob to the rest of us--the underlings--but I was her "favorite." Yea.

I did my best to meet her impossible demands while at the same time knowing I never would. I sought out and cherished the good moments and did my best to cope with the ugliness. It was one of the hardest things I've ever done, but she's gone and I'm back to enjoying my work again. I know for sure that it wasn't me, it was she who had the problem.

Remind yourself that you're a good--very good--person, and remember what you like about your life and your job. Write it down if you have to! Hugs to you.

I think I would put up with it more if I didn't have the other stresses I have in my life. But right now I'm so emotionally fragile, also being frightened of the virus and everything.

Bullies are hard to deal with. If I react it will make him worse because he probably wants a reaction (although he doesn't like it when I react), but if I just ignore him it shows that I'm weak and will put up with anything.

It's very subtle bullying. One day he can be nice to me, then another day he just yells at me for silly reasons but makes a big deal about it.

Hi

People who pick on others do so because they sense "leaks" in their psychological protective field, and are predatory because they have not resolved childhood abuse that made them vulnerable, so they much leach it from others.

By reacting to him with glum-ness you are "feeding" him, these people are like vampires, psychological vampires. They are to be pitied as they are children in adults bodies who have issues with personal power.

Bad moods are like a smell of rotten energy that emanates off people with unresolved issues, it can be contagious. It is fermented pain from childhood that comes out as these people have not learnt to manage their emotions.

The rubbish thing is pettiness. They use pettiness to leach off you, and when you call them out on it, they call you petty. Do you have a union you can complain to. Workplace bullying is taken seriously here in the UK it can go to industrial tribunals.

He sounds a lonely man, and work is his life, and if there is anyone to victimise, he will.
I remember a boss coming up to me with paperwork saying "You've c*cked this up, in front of colleagues" previously he nit picked me and I felt victimised.
Anyway, this time, I thought I would handle it differently, so I approached him when he was not busy and said

"XXNAME, sorry I made that error on that form earlier, please may I ask you something?" He agreed, I said "It would have been much nicer if you took me to one side and asked me how I could put the form right instead of telling me I c*cked it up in front of everyone" Surprisingly, he said "I'm enlightened" and he seemed to treat me better after that as far as I can remember.

I worked with a woman who told me she cleaned out her daughters rabbit cage with bleach, I was so angry I was lost for words, I wanted to say, "Hey sicko, I am about to report you to RSPCA", she was a step ford wife type efficient smartly dressed young woman but deeply wounded inside. You could tell, she needed victims also.

Your supervisor is disturbed, end of.

You look for another job, as he is toxic.

He is that way as his backside was kicked one too many times as a little boy by an abusive member of his older generation and he never processed it.

There are many people who are long-serving, but bad at their jobs, with bullying featuring all too frequently.

I don't want to leave, I wish people wouldn't keep advising me to do that. I've always wanted this job and I do enjoy it. And I'm usually picked on by someone in authority wherever I go, so if I got a new job I'll probably be picked on there as well, or worse.

About 10 years ago I done voluntary work but I was emotionally bullied by the manager and a couple of volunteers (all females), but I was younger back then so didn't stand up for myself, I just quietly put up with it and my friends were always telling me to be more assertive and stand up for myself. Now I'm older and have learnt to assert myself, my friends are telling me not to say anything to him and just ignore him.
But he yells at me in front of others and I feel like I have to defend myself, because if I just sit there and go "sorry", I feel weak. And I shouldn't be sorry, because usually he's telling me off about something that I haven't done wrong.

I don't think it's wise to put all bullying down to having a traumatic childhood. I have trauma in my childhood from all the bullying and social rejection I had to put up with but I don't go around bullying others because of it. In fact it's made me learn from it and understand others and help people.
So really, I think some people are just bullies. I don't want to be used as a punch bag though.

Sounds like your boss is bullying you Joe. Do you think he could be targeting you because he can pick up that you have a disability? Even if he doesn't know it, there is a thing we all have and that is called implicit bias.

Does he have a supervisor? Is there is a work union you are part of, can he be reported to his own supervisor? If he owns the company, you are SOL and you would be forced to quit.

I also know for a fact that when a boss doesn't like their employer, they will bully them till they quit because they can't just fire them. I don't know what the UK laws are for firing employers. Here in the states we have unions that protect workers and many states have at will meaning bosses are allowed to fire you at any time without any given reason and Montana is the only US state I know of that does not allow you to fire anyone unless you have a reason to. So this meant that bosses can bully their employers until they burn out and quit.

I am sorry you are going through this and people like your boss are the reason why many people on the spectrum are unemployed and why we are considered disabled. Here in the US, this would be considered unable to hold down a job even though I would be capable of keeping one and capable of work but if lot of people are out there bullying us, giving us a toxic work environment, jokes on them, we get free money from the gov and if so many people want us to stop mooching off their tax money, quit bullying us and stop the discrimination. As a joke, I say I am disabled by society because that is how I feel.

Yes of course this can happen to NTs too but this is more common for us.

I think my supervisor is the type to see disabilities in ''black and white'', for example he only thinks that all neurological diversities are all ''ret*d'' and unable to work. Also there's another worker who is a little different, and he went to a special school when he was younger but isn't dyslexic, but the supervisor doesn't pick on him. I think that the supervisor just thinks I have mild learning difficulties.

The difficult thing is, the supervisor is actually part of the union, and all the union members have a ''code'' where they all must back each other up. I suppose the idea of being in the union is being trusted to be responsible and professional enough to know better than to act like a schoolyard lout, and I can tell that my supervisor wormed his way into the union by pretending to be professional and responsible.

I've been thinking hard today though, and a couple of years ago the supervisor picked on a girl who was younger than me, and he treated her exactly the same way he is treating me. She got fired (won't go into why but it was nothing to do with the supervisor), so now being as I'm now the youngest in the workplace he's turned to me.

Some ppl are just jerks and need to bully Someone. "Push down, pop up," as a friend of mine calls it. Ppl who need to push someone else down in order to elevate their own self worth or status for whatever dumbshit reason they have.

He's your supervisor. Are you also a union memeber/employee? Have you Asked him why he picks on you? Are you comfortable doing that? Is there someone you can report his behaviour to? He must have a boss as well. Guaranteed being a bully is not in his job description. If you're a union member also then there will be a channel to complain via and have things dealt with. And if you're a non-union subcontractor or something, He still has a boss that you can complain to IF you think that will get you anywhere.. maybe it makes him worse, maybe he fires you, or maybe he stops being an a**hole because he gets disciplined and now knows he can't just treat you like crap with no consequences to him.

What can you do about it? Who can you report it to? What would the results likely be? Does it risk your job? If so, are you willing to risk it? Pros & cons.. but there are always options to choose from.

He is sounding like my choir teacher I had in Junior high and high school where she would go pick on one student and then move onto the next one. I don't know which bully is worst, the one who picks on everyone or one who targets one person and is nice to everyone else. There is the outward bully and the inward bully. Inward bullies are subtle about their bullying other people around you won't see the bullying even when done in front of them. Only the victim will see it.

I don't think he can fire me because I have a lot of back up. I'm well accepted by everyone else there and they wish he'd leave. But although he's 70, there's no chance of him retiring any time soon, as he cannot bear to tear himself away from the place. But most 70-year-olds I know are past bullying, so I think it's rather pathetic of him to carry on like that. I'll probably still be working there long after he's gone.

I'm not part of any union. But I'm scared to get him fired, because I know that would make him resentful and I'll be paranoid that he might seek revenge on me or something, like arson. I'm not saying he's capable of that but you never know. I suppose the best thing I can do is make the boss aware and he can perhaps approach the situation in an anonymous manner, like not giving me away and just making out that other people have said or that he's picked up on it himself or something. Like I said, I am very much liked and even well respected at work.

My supervisor confuses me though. Sometimes he can be really nice, and always thanks me for the hard work I have done at the end of each shift, and he will include me like for example if others are coming in earlier for tea and cakes he'll tell me. So I sometimes get confused. I think he just uses me as a punch bag, like if he's having a bad day I'll be the first and only person he'll take it all out on. Every day I arrive into work with a positive attitude, ready to start and not minding which task I'm given. And I like to do my work properly too. So it's not like I'm the type to worsen his bad moods.

Sounds like a cuckoobird.....