Pros/cons of disclosure to boss?

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Hi there, I was diagnosed about a year ago. After doing some research and analyzation on how AS has affected my life, I've realized that many of the likes/dislikes and quirks I have are included in AS. So I guess my basic question is, should I inform my boss about my condition?

Here's some helpful info:
- I work part-time at a golf range. It is owned and operated by my town.
- I sometimes tell people that I have 2 bosses - one is my boss (Alpha), the other is his assistant (Beta).
- Boss Alpha and I get along well. He's generally friendly, understanding, and knows that I'm a valuable employee.
- Boss Beta and I clash. He has a completely different leadership style, believing that threatening me with "termination and replacement" will get me to do whatever he wants. It seems that he's overly critical of me, yet goes easy on other employees when they mess up because they "know someone" (yes, my town seems to be based on politics and who you know).
- I generally try to avoid interactions with Beta because he seems mildly annoyed whenever I see him - even at his son's birthday party.

There's times when Beta is threatening me with "termination and replacement" that I'd love to just implode in his face. What I'd like to say is "Good luck finding someone else to work the hours I do and as thoroughly as I do; perhaps you should talk to Alpha before you threaten me". Yet I don't, because I'm both respectful of his rank as my superior and I need this job. I'd hope that by disclosing my AS to them, I could either get some sort of disability arrangement (I might apply for disability payments, I'm not sure that I should because I'm currently employed and might not get consideration) or they would at least understand that yelling at me and threatening me is counter-productive.

Yet at the same time, I don't want the head honchos of the town to find out; I fear that I'd be fired because they wouldn't want to get caught up in a legal "disability" mess.

So should I disclose to my boss? Or am I just being too sensitive in my interactions with Beta?

...

I would recommend taking a look at http://antibullyingcrusador.wordpress.com/. This website has a lot of information on how bullies tick and ways of dealing with them. If none of the ways listed here are effective, you can always set up your bully to fall in other ways. I HATE bullies and have come up with ways of stopping them from causing me trouble. I don't take actions in order to seek revenge against bullying but rather to stop the bullying or to remove the bully from being able to cause me trouble. If I have to take the "low" road in dealing with a bully, it is done in a way so that no-one knows who committed the act. If anyone else finds out about "low" tactics done to remove a bully, the tactic(s) WILL backfire against the victim and further empower the bully. I don't like to use "low" tactics and will only use them as a last resort.

Unfortunately, bullies seem to hone in on Aspies.

Two occasions when it was particularly bad for me, I tried to stick it out, and I put up with loads of s**t, working hard, being diligent, performing all my tasks to the best of my ability (and I have high standards, I'm a perfectionist), and yet the bullies made my position untenable in both those cases where it was particularly bad.

In both cases, my contract wasn't renewed when it ended, even thought most other contracts were renewed if other employees wanted to renew them.

Btw, is there a different communication style? Like maybe does Alpha boss leave you a list of tasks to do, but Beta boss tells you to do stuff, and maybe sometimes you forget? I know I have a much better visual memory than audio, so I know that if someone tells me to do something, I need to write it down.

I don't mean to pass on responsibility for for his bad behaviour on to you, but just wondering what's at the root of the problem. Why does he have a problem with you, if your other boss doesn't? What's going on, why don't you seem to be able to perform to that guy's satisfaction? Again, not trying to put the blame on you here, just asking the question, to see if there's something that maybe you could do, like writing down a 'to do' list, or something, to make sure you carry out all your tasks or whatever.

Or does he have some targets to meet or is he struggling to meet the demands of his job, and maybe if you miss something or do something too slowly you make him look bad, so he's taking it out on you?

Or it could just be that he's what I call a 'stick'-type boss. Y'know how they say about donkeys responding to a carrot or a stick? Some bosses reckon that the way to get the best out of their employees is by encouraging and rewarding them, they're 'carrot' bosses. The other type, who threaten and reprimand, beat you with a verbal 'stick', well, they're 'stick' bosses.

Personally speaking, I don't get on with stick bosses, they make my life hell. But I think there are very few stick bosses, because ultimately it's just not an effective style of management.

Unfortunately, the worst bully types in those two roles I mentioned, they weren't my boss, so I couldn't object to their style of management, because they were my manager. But they still caused a lot of trouble for me.

Anyway, the answer is, I don't know what to do in your scenario. I've never personally come out of a scenario like that with my job and my sanity in tact. I have a feeling that there must be tactics to deal with individual situations and strategies to deal with 'stick' type managers overall, but I know that if I was in a similar situation again, I wouldn't let it escalate, I'd just start looking for another job straight away.

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If your Autism or AS does not interfere too much in your job - don't say anything about it.

And you work on a golf course. I'm sure you do not work with people like I did in my last job. If you worked at a residential treatment center for at-risk teens - I'd say RUN AWAY from that job - (and don't tell them about AS) since in that type of job - you WILL BE looked down upon by other staff (Since they treat kids with Autism and AS- they seem to think they you will act like them).

As far as Beta is concerned - just smile at him. I had this type of personality clash with a lady named Cindy. I thought it was "Just me" 3 years ago. But about 1 year ago - I found out through a friend of mine- Cindy is the same way with all people - she expects people to think like her - she expects people to know whatever she is talking about - and does not give good driving directions.

All you can do is smile. I'm sure Beta knows that you work weird hours and you are a hard worker. He is just trying to inminidate you. When he says this - it's best to think of something wonderful - like picturing yourself as HIS boss - or better yet - his best friend. If you can imagine this man as your best friend - you will not desire to say anything bad to him. I know it will be hard - believe you me - it is very very hard to do this. But you don't want to say something you will regret in the end - I've been known to say stuff - without control and I've been - out of a job.
Hope this helps.

The following is an example of a letter, originally prepared by the Asperger Association of New England, which I would use to disclose and explain my condition or, in other words, “come out” to a new employer.

11 September 2010

Mr. John Holmes
ABC Company
201 W. Springfield Avenue, #1200
Champaign, IL 61820

Dear Mr. Holmes:

Thank you very much for giving me the opportunity to work for ABC Company. I am looking forward to beginning work, and will try very hard to understand and fulfill all of my job responsibilities successfully. In this letter, I would like to offer you some important personal information that may affect how I perform in my new job. As you may already know, I have Asperger Syndrome (AS for short). It may be helpful if you, as my supervisor at ABC Company, understand some characteristics of AS, and some reasonable accommodations for my different learning style, so that I can become a good employee who will contribute to ABC Company’s success. Asperger Syndrome is a form of Autism characterized by normal to superior IQ, accompanied by social and communication difficulties. These difficulties stem from neurologically based sensory and information-processing disabilities. Even though I may look just like everyone else, my mind works in a significantly different way, and sometimes my behavior and reactions will not be typical.

There is wide variation in the abilities and personalities of individuals with AS, but we do have a lot in common. I have difficulty understanding another person’s perspective and reading messages that are conveyed by facial expression, or body language. This means that it is likely I will not understand office politics or I will occasionally put my foot in my mouth. On the positive side, once I understand the tasks and routines necessary to my job, I will perform them faithfully. I am honest and good-hearted. With skillful supervision, you can minimize the impact of my differences, and make the best use of my many talents and abilities. Here is a list of some suggestions for the kinds of accommodations that could help me feel comfortable and be a good employee. It would help if you, as my supervisor, can:

• Give me a written job description that spells out all of my responsibilities in detail.
• Give me specific, detailed, instructions for each new task that you assign to me.
• Present all new information in writing, rather than just orally.
• Give me a little extra time or coaching to master a new task or absorb new information.
• If possible, meet with me briefly at the beginning of each day to review and prioritize the day’s agenda, and to forewarn me about any upcoming changes in the schedule/routine. (If more convenient, we could meet at the end of each day to preview the next workday.) I can adapt well and handle abrupt transitions or surprises if I am forewarned.
• Let me know to whom I should turn (and when and how) with questions about my work assignments - to you, and/or an identified co-worker?
• Give me an explicit, detailed list of rules governing workplace protocol around such matters as appropriate dress, timing and length of breaks, when and where conversation with other employees is allowed. (I will probably not be able to intuit these rules for myself.)
• Try to allow me to focus on and complete one task at a time. If an interruption is unavoidable, please allow me a short time to adjust.
• If I say or do something inappropriate, I do not intend to be rude – I may just be neurologically overwhelmed. If this happens, please just give a chance to take a break and calm myself. Later we can discuss how to handle similar situations better.
• Try to avoid assigning me tasks where there are pressing deadlines, difficult personalities to deal with, or other factors that can ignite my anxieties.
• Understand that even though I may not make eye contact with you while you are speaking to me, I am listening to you. (It is often difficult to process both auditory and visual information simultaneously.)
• Meet with me regularly and frequently to let me know how I am doing. Acknowledge whatever I am doing well. If you need to give me negative feedback, the most effective approach is to suggest in a calm and neutral way any concrete steps I can take to correct the mistakes.
• Due to our “disability”, people with AS have trouble understanding other people’s viewpoints. I may sometimes say things that are unintentionally hurtful or abrupt. I may need your feedback to realize this behavior is inappropriate, and replace it with more acceptable behavior.
• Recognize and accept my social or sensory limitations. Limit the amount of contact I have with the general public, and the amount of time I must interact with large groups or work in noisy settings. After working with a group, I may need a “sensory break” – a walk to the mailbox, or some time working alone at a task in a quiet part of the office.
• Be patient and flexible. If you give directions and feedback calmly, I will feel less anxious, and can perform my best work for you.
• Help me decide if other people in the company should know I have AS. If personnel officers and co-workers can show understanding and accept me for who I am, they can help me succeed.
• Be compassionate. I have met with a great deal of misunderstanding and failure in the past, despite my best efforts to meet society’s expectations. Although I may not always remember to express my thanks verbally, I will reward your patient supervisory efforts with a solid, reliable work performance.

If you would like more information, you are welcome to call the Asperger Association of New England (AANE). AANE is a small non-profit agency founded in 1996, with a mission of fostering awareness, respect, acceptance, and support for individuals with Asperger Syndrome. They provide programs for individuals with AS, their families, and those in the community who work with them, including employers. You are always welcome to call them, to tap into their knowledge and experience of AS. They can refer you to additional resources. They can be reached at 1-617-383-3824. Thank you very much for taking the time to think about this important information. I look forward to working with you.

Sincerely,
William D. Lawless, MBA
Research Analyst

When writing the actual letter to an employer, I strongly recommend that an Aspergian use only the above bullet points that are directly relevant to his/her personal situation and to the position. I would also recommend making the disclosure to colleagues and clients only on a need-to-know basis. My personal experience is that not everyone is as understanding or as accepting as they should be. Many people fear what they do not understand. The diagnosis of Asperger Syndrome should be otherwise mentioned only when certain types of inappropriate behavior are noticed as the behaviors are usually the result of the differences in how we perceive the world around us and are not malicious in nature.