Recently Had to Disclose to Employer (Mixed Feelings)

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It's been a while since I've posted anything (and there has been a reason for that), but this is still one of the best sites for quick feedback, so....

Due to a mostly unrelated incident in which I was put on a two-day suspension, I had to disclose my Asperger's to human resources. I was diagnosed as an adult and since then I have had quite a bit of pride in it, but now I just feel weird.

I was happy with the idea of having a disability I could live with, but when my employer has to know, I no longer feel like I am failing or succeeding on my own terms.

Now that I had to disclose, I feel that if I do exceptionally well, it is inspite of a handicap and if I fail it is because of it. It is now like I have "autistic person" tattooed across my forehead. So, for the first time, I'm NOT happy with my AS....

I understand where you are coming from. That is most unfortunate. I know what you mean that any accomplishment seems to be in the shadow of a "handicap," so it doesn't feel as incredible. It meant more when people didn't know and treated you like a normal person. Perhaps, this will be for the better in the long run. You can now explain yourself to others in deeper detail and perhaps they will get to know you better this way.

Its a big part of us we do not wish to let others really knows. it always ends up bad. I am not sure wher eyou work or what their plans are but if I was you I would start job hunting. I have had three jobs and each time I had to disclose I was "let go" a few weeks/monthes later. So just have a back up plan.

When I worked in a resteraunt I went to high school with half the people I worked with. They all knew I was once in special education so they made fun of me constantly without mercy. At school I kept people from picking on me with the use of violence or the threat of it. On the job I could not hit someone because I would get fired and I needed the job. So I had to fight back by spitting in their food or drinks, smearing feces in their coat sleeves. thowing their unattended car keys into a pond or the resteraunt's roof, and not to mention putting a pair of woman's panties under a manager's car seat after I called his wife from the resteraunt's bar telling his wife to tell her husband to stop sleeping with my wife and where to find the panties. If I had not done these things to blow off steam I probably would have came in one day shooting everyone as they came in.

I have a feeling if they knew I was autistic at the machine shop job I lost a year ago they would have still made fun of me. At that job everyone has at least three nick names all of mine revolved around my "weird" behavior. Such RainDan, Rocketman, TaliDan, and the Dope. These guys were not that bad towards me but then again none of them knew I was in special education but I have a feeling they would have been without mercy picking on me if they knew like the people in the resteraunt. Douche bags one and all.

I apologize in advance for being inarticulate here, but I'll try....

This doesn't change who you are. It may change part of how they see you, and that isn't necessarily all bad. Remember that AS is somewhat of a mixed blessing, if you will; many things about it are challenging, but sometimes our skills and abilities, weird as they might be, come in handy. Maybe this will be somewhat of an "a-ha!" moment for your employer. Maybe it helps to put brackets around things they suspected or wondered about. Maybe it helps them make some sense of you. And maybe, just maybe, you and they can learn together about what you can do to make your life at work more successful.

Ok, I'm curious, the purpose of disclosing a disability to the workplace would be to request "reasonable acomodation". Otherwise disclosing a disability is likely to be more harmful than not. So what was the "reasonable acomodation". I really am asking because it is not obvious to me.

Hopefully your next job will not be full of losers. I don't agree with such passive-aggressive behavior, but I totally understand it. Sometimes these things get better when everyone is older.

Okay, first of all, thank you to Blastoff and Arman, what you wrote is true; it may be an advantage in the long run.

Now, Jackbus... It is a kind of strange case for me and my job. I would not really need any kind of accommodation. The reason that my boss recommended that I disclose to human resources was primarily because I had been poorly treated by the previous manager and the current manager thought that it might be a bit of a safety net for me to come out about the Asperger's.

I work in human services. I teach leadership skills and money management in a recovery setting. My previous manager turned a blind eye to the fact that I had been harassed by two fellow staff members on an almost continuous basis to the point that I was suicidal. When I reported to him that I was being treated badly, he consistently sided with my tormentors. One of them filed a false complaint about me and my manager just implied that I was a liar when I denied the accusation in the complaint. There are more details, but that's the gist of it.

So anyway, that manager resigned last summer and the new manager has a Psychology background. She values me as a staff member and admires my work, but all the other staff members are still there. She has tried to protect me, but she thought it would be better to disclose my AS so that the HR manager has a better grasp of the situation in the case of any futher attempted shenanigans.

"Let Go" meaning they fired you? So there are bigots out there in the work place. Aspergers doesn't equal dumb, moron, stupid, etc.