Dilemma

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In mid-January I applied for a job in the insurance industry. My parents were keen that I applied, I was considerably less keen as I knew I'd find going back into the corporate world difficult. But I put in the application anyway, not thinking I stood a realistic chance of getting the job. If I thought my chances were higher I don't think I would have applied, silly as that may seem.

I got called up for an interview (400 miles away - I'll need to relocate if I take the job); to be honest I treated it as interview practice and a trip to another city. Since then I was lucky enough to get a temp job and I'd almost forgotten about the other "big" job. But last week, a full six weeks after the interview, they called me up to offer me the job! My anxiety levels have been sky high since then.

The money and benefits I'd get from this job would be good. But I've got friends and support networks here (it's taken me a long time to build those - I don't make friends easily). I'll lose all of that if I go. It's a nice place I'd be going to, but one I don't really know. Most importantly I'm not at all confident that I can do the job (it's quite complex and could potentially be stressful - depression is a problem for me), let alone that I'll enjoy it.

I've basically told my parents I'll take it. I knew they'd be disappointed if I didn't. There would be a certain loss of face if I backed out now. But I'm almost 31 so I shouldn't be thinking like this. Another thing - just before I got the job offer, I found out I have to move out of my flat anyway, so somehow it seems this job is "meant to be".

I haven't signed my life away just yet, but I've got about 36 hours to finalize my decision. This is hard and I kind of wish I'd never applied for the damn job in the first place and I wouldn't be in this mess.

It's clear you don't want the job, so you shouldn't take it.

On the other hand, if you are going to move out, you should first consider your situation. If it would be better for you to take the job, even considering you don't like it, you should take it anyway. Everyone has to take an undesirable job when the situation demands it. You could always try to get a better job later.

Ok, I think you should take the job. Your anxiety and lack of confidence is partly what is holding you back. The fact that you got the job suggests that you are most likely far more capable than you realize or give yourself credit for. You also have to move out of your flat so I think you'd be wise to at least give this job a go, it does seem like it was "meant to be." Also, in this economy, it is so tough to get a job that when one comes along with good benefits you should take it. I realize how frightening it is to move so far and leave behind your friends and support but if the worst happens and you really can't stand it or find the job too difficult then you can always come back.

Good Luck with whatever you decide