Anyone else had this problem? HELP!! !!

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Well I had been in job for nearly 6 years and a few week ago it abruptly came to an end!

I was head bar staff at one of the most popular committee run social clubs in our town. I really enjoyed the job and it was the first time I had actually stuck with a job for some length of time. I have a really bad habit of walking out of jobs for various reasons, anything from boredom to not like people who I worked with! So finally I find a job I like and stuck to after countless failed jobs over the years and the world is a wonderful place! Don't get me wrong it was incredibly difficult to hold this job down, but I had a couple of committee members who seemed to understand me and know how to handle me, dispute they nor me knowing I possibly have AS or a ASD!

Anyhoo .... I ended up getting sacked! There has been some major changes in my life over the last 2 months, which are pretty challenging for "normal" people! I had to deal with a sudden death, my little brothers custody battle for his son and him getting married and us falling out over the wedding and he is expecting another baby, my mam facing major surgery, my dad having a possible cancer scare and there is even more than that, but i won't bore you all! So me being stress head of the century I had all this to cope with plus more and I thought I was managing quite well, only having a couple of minor explosive episodes! (I believe these are called melt downs?)

This was until I went to work a few week ago to find my manager waiting for me. I'm a bit confused at this point because she usually isn't there at that time and takes over from me when my shift is finished! So she asks if she can have 5 mins. I waltz over thinking she wanted to see me about the blues festival rota which was starting the day after. (the blues is the busiest time of year and its all hands on deck!). I sit down and she tell me about this written warning she had been given by the committee about me. Apparently I had paint on the back of my uniform t-shirt the night before and they weren't happy about! (Bearing in mind the committee had a big meeting the night before and they all seen me and instead of any of them giving me a nudge and ask if I knew there was paint on my back, they send my manager a written warning for incompetent management!) Well after she told me this I burst out laughing thinking it was a joke, then she showed me the letter. I said ok very funny jokes over I'm going to work! So she stop me again and say's it serious. Well that was it! I have a major explosive episode, ending in me announcing i was going home to get the t-shirt I wore for the previous shift, having a rant at my ever suffering partner before going back to work with the t-shit. I arrive back to find my manager no where to be seen, but my mam was there dropping my brother off, so she manages to talk me down a bit.

Then my manager appears back. She asks me if I had calmed down and if I was going to work. I her told that I wouldn't be here otherwise. She tells me to wait and disappears again! she comes back with the phone and it's one of the committee wanting to speak to me! So I take the phone and the committee member starts telling me the biggest fairy tale I have ever heard! Apparently I resigned and walked out of the job ........ I know i said a few harsh things but the whole bar heard what I was screaming and none of them heard me resign! she then carries on to tell me it's unacceptable to walk out on the job! I never got chance to start work that day in the first place to walk out of the the job and I was 5 mins before I officially clocked on when I went to get my t-shirt! So I ask her why no one came to me and asked me if I knew there was paint on my back, when most of the committee seen me on the night in question. All she kept telling me was they the committee are my employer and it is my managers responsibly to manage the staff and make sure staff obey rules! So this kicked off another explosive episode as I could get a reasonable answer to why! I ended up telling the committee member I thought the whole committee was a joke and where idiots, hung up on her and flung the phone across the bar!

So after that carry on my mam again calms me down and my manager tells me to go home have the night off and calm down. I turn up the next day for work to find my manager lurking on the door step. she says to me I hope you haven't come to work, so I ask why, she tells me that the committee had said that I was not to go back until they had sent me a letter and seen them personally! This is when my partner decides I have AS and marches me to the doctors! Sooooo not having a clue what to do I go get some legal advice and they advise me to put in writing my version of events asap as it all sounded very one sided on my managers behalf and to ask them to make it clear if I had been suspended or sacked! 4 weeks later with no pay, after I sent them the same letter twice and tried several times to contact a committee member by phone leaving umpteen voice messages. I finally get a letter from the committee post dated the day before I received it, saying here is you P45 and the committee wish you all the best for the future! No explanation of nothing!! !

So I'm left jobless, not a clue what benefits I can claim and being teat for depression and under going investigations in to being diagnosed with AS or an ASD! And I haven't a clue what to do! Anyone else been in similar situation???

Well, maybe you are AS, but that whole committee sounds like their a joke and a bunch of idiots. It's just harder for us who see through all these crazy "social" games they play that refuse to deal with it. I refuse to deal with it too, my bosses were idiots, so I stopped showing up to work and I'm much happier now, and intend to continue going crazy cuz hell, life's more interesting that way. But yea, jus sayin. I get ya haha and best of luck with that, maybe if you talk to your coworkers that saw what happened, if any of them can back you up if you want to, I dunno, appeal?

Lets see how you could have handled this a little better.

Realize that at this point your manager is still your ally. She likely thought the committee was being unreasonable too.


Honest mistake.


And here is where you should have gone into professional mode. But instead you...



And what you should have done instead was calmly say "Oh, well I must have leaned against some wet paint and not realized it. Can I talk to the committee so I can explain and apologize?


Your rant probably scared her. She had the committee on her case and she can't defend a person who isn't being reasonable and who is acting inappropriately because it would cost her her job. Had you remained calm she would have been able to defend you.



It's more than likely this was the story they were concocting for you so you would not have to tell your next potential employer you were fired, or so they could deny you unemployment benefits. I'm guessing you are not from the US (you are from Ireland correct?) and I do not know the laws in your country concerning benefits. In the US, sometimes saying a person resigned is a favor to them, sometimes it's not.

Anyway, at this point you still had a chance to redeem yourself by apologizing profusely and saying there was a misunderstanding. Even if they rejected the apology at that point you would have been able to speak with them a few days later to talk about the situation and point out that you had worked your job for 6 years and no one had ever informed you of any complaints, and add that you really enjoyed the job as well.



And this likely ruined any chance at getting your job back. People don't like to deal with individuals who become physically or verbally violent towards them, and who cannot handle these situations more professionally. It not only scares them but your behavior becomes a liability.



The explanation is, you no longer work for them, and the reason why, I have just explained.

I'm sure there are lots of places you can work as a bartender though so I wouldn't actually worry too much about it. I would just start applying for jobs again.

Yelling at your boss in front of customers is pretty much always going to get you fired.

You are supposed to be able to accept criticism, not challenge it. If you don't understand the issue, it is usually OK to ask questions. If you disagree, state calmly once that you disagree. But getting angry or otherwise reacting emotionally is inappropriate.

You should have just said that you were unaware there was paint on the back of your shirt, but you've been under a lot of stress lately, and that may be why you didn't notice it. Then say you will fix the problem.

Given everything going on with you, it isn't shocking that you lost your cool, but I have a question: did your boss or your boss's boss know the stress you were under, or that you have AS? See, if they know, they might make an allowance. If they don't know, then they have no reason to.

Next time everything is going to hell in a hand-basket in your personal life, share that information with your boss. They like to know what is going on with their people, because it can affect how you react to things, and that way they are better prepared.

stay away from psychiatrists and their dope. psychologist tend to care much more about their patients and tend to be more accurate.