The world of work, pessimism, introversion, and Asperger's.

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iamnotaparakeet
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05 Jan 2012, 11:50 pm

Does it seem like often, way too often, that most employers actively favor optimists, extroverts, and people without communication difficulties? Even when such shouldn't matter for employment and the tasks that the potential worker would actually be doing? Being an optimist, ever cheerful and all that crap, seems to matter most. Yes fine, smiles can be infectious but so can the Ebola virus. Be rejected enough times by employers and try remaining an optimist. It's a whole lot easier to think optimistically when you don't have problems than when you have real issues to take care of and only crap advice from people who aren't having financial difficulties. Extroversion, being outwardly focused, is always treated better by employers. Why? Because they're solipsistic attention hogs who want your focus to be about them. Being introverted, inward focus, can be mistaken as being solipsistic but it's more a matter of thinking more in a first person manner than a second person manner, and that's something they don't like since they want your focus outward, specifically on them and their power and control trips. Customers too, in companies which work with the general public, want your attention on them. Greet people at doors and notice their response to, "How are you?" and count how many times they'll ask you the same question back. There are a few that recognize that you're also a person, but most see you as an appendage of corporate entity to address with statements which don't matter and even to act abusively toward whenever the bigwigs of the company do something stupid. And having a form of Autism, any communication difficult really, just plain seems to make things worse - especially when it comes to auditory communication where they judge every word you say not based on your actual words but instead upon such annoyingly difficult things to control or care about such as expressions, tone, and body language. Essentially, it sucks if you have difficulty with communication, or aren't totally transfixed upon the words of the hiring managers, or if you have any difficulty with acting like everything is always sunshiny flowers and puppies continuously.

Now, I've been employed seasonally last year, so this rant isn't so much about my employment or ability to be employed, but instead more related to my brother-in-law providing advice to me about finding work by talking about me behind my back to my wife and to his friends also. I'm ticked at him for his cowardice and backbiting. But this post should really be more about difficulties with finding employment for people who are pessimists, introverted, and with an Autism spectrum disorder. It just seems to me that even with jobs that would be well suited to such people, the hiring managers cut them down and in that manner add to them more reasons enumerable for remaining pessimists.



Whosinabunker
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06 Jan 2012, 11:07 am

iamnotaparakeet wrote:
Does it seem like often, way too often, that most employers actively favor optimists, extroverts, and people without communication difficulties? Even when such shouldn't matter for employment and the tasks that the potential worker would actually be doing? Being an optimist, ever cheerful and all that crap, seems to matter most. Yes fine, smiles can be infectious but so can the Ebola virus. Be rejected enough times by employers and try remaining an optimist. It's a whole lot easier to think optimistically when you don't have problems than when you have real issues to take care of and only crap advice from people who aren't having financial difficulties. Extroversion, being outwardly focused, is always treated better by employers. Why? Because they're solipsistic attention hogs who want your focus to be about them. Being introverted, inward focus, can be mistaken as being solipsistic but it's more a matter of thinking more in a first person manner than a second person manner, and that's something they don't like since they want your focus outward, specifically on them and their power and control trips. Customers too, in companies which work with the general public, want your attention on them. Greet people at doors and notice their response to, "How are you?" and count how many times they'll ask you the same question back. There are a few that recognize that you're also a person, but most see you as an appendage of corporate entity to address with statements which don't matter and even to act abusively toward whenever the bigwigs of the company do something stupid. And having a form of Autism, any communication difficult really, just plain seems to make things worse - especially when it comes to auditory communication where they judge every word you say not based on your actual words but instead upon such annoyingly difficult things to control or care about such as expressions, tone, and body language. Essentially, it sucks if you have difficulty with communication, or aren't totally transfixed upon the words of the hiring managers, or if you have any difficulty with acting like everything is always sunshiny flowers and puppies continuously.

Now, I've been employed seasonally last year, so this rant isn't so much about my employment or ability to be employed, but instead more related to my brother-in-law providing advice to me about finding work by talking about me behind my back to my wife and to his friends also. I'm ticked at him for his cowardice and backbiting. But this post should really be more about difficulties with finding employment for people who are pessimists, introverted, and with an Autism spectrum disorder. It just seems to me that even with jobs that would be well suited to such people, the hiring managers cut them down and in that manner add to them more reasons enumerable for remaining pessimists.


Whilst I largely agree, I just wanted to post something here real quick, it's a video by RSA animate on youtube, about called "smile or die" you may find it relevant to this situation. One could also say that instead of pessimism it's more along the lines of depressive realism. That is an actual term, google it. Also as someone who has been cut down and criticized because of my lack of "being happy all the gorram time" I understand what you mean, employers and people in general would rather want someone who is happy regardless of what is actually going on in their lives. Just watch that video if you get a chance, it's enlightening.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u5um8QWWRvo[/youtube]



hyperlexian
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06 Jan 2012, 12:56 pm

moved from Random Discussion to Work and finding a Job



for me, i found that having a positive attitude when at work definitely makes my employer happy too. when i am less cheerful my boss and coworkers don't really want me around, which makes perfect sense. everyone contributes to the shared work environment, so a bad attitude poisons the broth, so to speak. it make sthe workplace unpleasant for everyone. that's not to say i am able to sustain a positive attitude at all times, especially when the workplace really sucks, but i do understand that my attitude affects everyone around me.

when looking for work a person's attitude can make the difference between getting a job and staying unemployed while someone else gets the job, all other factors being equal. the employer needs to believe that you want this job more than any other job ever, even if it is a crappy mimum wage gig.


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Sweetleaf
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06 Jan 2012, 5:13 pm

hyperlexian wrote:
moved from Random Discussion to Work and finding a Job



for me, i found that having a positive attitude when at work definitely makes my employer happy too. when i am less cheerful my boss and coworkers don't really want me around, which makes perfect sense. everyone contributes to the shared work environment, so a bad attitude poisons the broth, so to speak. it make sthe workplace unpleasant for everyone. that's not to say i am able to sustain a positive attitude at all times, especially when the workplace really sucks, but i do understand that my attitude affects everyone around me.

when looking for work a person's attitude can make the difference between getting a job and staying unemployed while someone else gets the job, all other factors being equal. the employer needs to believe that you want this job more than any other job ever, even if it is a crappy mimum wage gig.


Well I am screwed then....how the hell am I supposed to make an employer believe I want the job more than any other job 'ever'? That seems a little bit extreme I don't even get that enthusiastic about things I do actually like. I am sure I could work at the kind of jobs I would want to, but Its unlikely any are hiring right now. But yeah its safe to say if I was applying at a grocery store I could not convince the employer I wanted to work there that badly if my life depended on it.



hyperlexian
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06 Jan 2012, 5:19 pm

^^^^ i was probably exaggerating. but they should think you want to work there a whole lot. you wouldn't have to squee and jump up and down, but fake-smiling and being happy to get an interview etc will get you very far.


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Sweetleaf
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06 Jan 2012, 5:54 pm

hyperlexian wrote:
^^^^ i was probably exaggerating. but they should think you want to work there a whole lot. you wouldn't have to squee and jump up and down, but fake-smiling and being happy to get an interview etc will get you very far.


Yeah and then how is going to look when I finally get so exausted with trying to be fake and happy I reveal my true self?



machf
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06 Jan 2012, 10:41 pm

hyperlexian wrote:
when i am less cheerful my boss and coworkers don't really want me around, which makes perfect sense. everyone contributes to the shared work environment, so a bad attitude poisons the broth, so to speak. it make sthe workplace unpleasant for everyone.

Well, then they should try to make you feel better and happier at work, instead of going on with what makes you sick and not giving a **** about you after you tell them to please stop it because it's killing you. If they don't care about you, why should you care about them? That happened to me by the end of 2009, a few days before my contract was over, so I just told them to go to hell, and then I quit.



hyperlexian
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06 Jan 2012, 10:48 pm

^^^true and ^^^true.

what can i say? i didn't create the crappy workplaces lol, i just know what employers want. many apsies have a hard time with it, absolutely.


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hanyo
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07 Jan 2012, 5:21 am

Sweetleaf wrote:
Well I am screwed then....how the hell am I supposed to make an employer believe I want the job more than any other job 'ever'? That seems a little bit extreme I don't even get that enthusiastic about things I do actually like. I am sure I could work at the kind of jobs I would want to, but Its unlikely any are hiring right now. But yeah its safe to say if I was applying at a grocery store I could not convince the employer I wanted to work there that badly if my life depended on it.


I feel the same way. I can't fake being something I'm not or make stuff up just to get a job I don't really want. Plus I can't even think of any jobs I could apply for around where I live that I'm even capable of doing. Most "unskilled" jobs I know of involve customer service and working with people which I can't do.