Urgent issue

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I am a temp worker and should do IT related work rather then doing chaos management as a regional operations management assistent job. So my job is mostly working with people, with the staff around me and not solving IT issues. I just have to figure out what the problems are phrase them in technical terms and write tickets to the IT departments. To be able to do so I have to understand the issues very well and work with my IT knowledge to phrase the tickets accordently.

I am an IT Admin and not a chaos manager / process analyst for the daily operations of the regional branch side.

I got my job with the goal to work IT and not 95% working with people.

I am getting stressed more and more every day even my wife experiences that my private manner and how I talk and react to her changes. Playing a acting role working more social rather then just doing best what I am really able to do where my IT abbilities are puts a real lot of stress at me. Coming home at night after 9 to even 10 hours work I just drop down and I am hardly able to do my housekeeping tasks. And I am more aggressiv to my wife having about no friends and unable to doing sports in this first week of the new year I have no chance to steam off some stress. As you know Aspies needing 200% effort to work in a social environment when they are bound to work off the road of the work abilities. So the more excausted we are back home after work.

I already talked to my boss, if he cannot take me out and give me a new assignment with more IT tasks. He told me he got me on his list. As soon he can find something what fits me better he will reassigne me to it.

But I fear that he will need longer than this month so I probably stay in my current job even too long. I already got this assignment for the last 2 month. I cannot go ahead and tell him that I have aspergers and this job stresses me just too much. Here in Germany very few know about what Aspergers is. If he hears Autism, he would rather try and fire me on the long run fearing that I will become a problem for him... And because I have no official diagnosis I cannot wave with it to him that the law bounds him to keep me.

Getting diagnosed here in Germany is really hard and not easy at all. About 1% of neuro-specialist knows with experience about Autism and even fewer knows about Aspergers. And I wanna become a selfemployed IT consultant in the future and would not get any private health insurance I would be able to pay for, because of of such a diagnosis. So I cannot go for a diagnosis. One has to pay 300% for a statutory health insurance when selfemployed, running his own business compared to what a typical employee pays for it. So there is no other way as to choose a private health insurance company.

I have been selfemployed already in the past. So I know how that goes. But I was less experienced and less specialized and less trained. By now 4 years later I have the knowledge I need but think I will need at least one or two more years to reach such a point to become a IT-Consultant.

Ok. How can I cope better with this social stress I have right now within my current assignment as a temp worker? I wanna avoid to be such a ass to my wife!

You have expressed the issues and possible choices clearly in this post. I assume that your wife knows all of these details. But sometimes reading/hearing the inter-related issues unified in one piece, such as you wrote here, can be illuminating. Perhaps she will understand how desperate the situation is for you. Maybe sometime when you are in a neutral mood you can show it to her.

I interpret your resolve to be as balanced and reasonable as possible during this extended, yet temporary, time of stress and hardship. Would it be a fair division of labor in your family for you to be excused from home tasks during this time? Perhaps you could ask her for the gift of rest at home until your job demands become less punishing. This is not to suggest that your wife bears any blame in this. Simply that, if your family is dependent on you keeping this particular job, other family members can make this a tiny bit more bearable if no home work is expected of you, right now.

You need to quit aggressive behavior toward your wife, as you have accepted that, for the time being, you need to stay in this job. In situations of great stress such as you are experiencing now, usually the only relief is small reliefs. Your task at home is to be at peace, at rest. Let her help you with that.

Good luck to you.