Getting over job-hunt anxiety?
At my last job, I was feeling pretty good about myself.... Then out of the blue, management changes and I got fired soon after.
Since then, I have been having a hard time making myself go out and job-hunt. The longer I stay at home alone, the harder it is to go out in public and put on the job-hunt persona.
I have been sending out applications, and getting no bites. At this point, I feel like I need to start showing up to places in person and make my case rather than silently sending off applications hoping for a response that doesn't come.
But putting myself out there as a walk-in job applicant is terrifying. I have always had a hard time with this. In the past, though, I could write a good resume, and if I got a response I could psych myself up for an interview and do okay. But now with no nibbles on anything, I have to go out cold....
before I talk myself in circles here, I'll just finish. Has anyone got tips for getting over job hunt anxiety?
I don't know, I just wanted to say you are not alone. My anxiety when job hunting is very high and my self esteem is rock bottom. This is why I usually find a menial job and hang onto it for years. I guess practice role playing could help. Act out scenarios where you are successful. The theory is you can rely on those in the real situation. Be an actor. Personally, even though I have a college degree I have no hard skills and a history of menial jobs so I don't look good on paper.
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Detach ed
I got my degree in 2000 and after that i did a diploma course and went searching in job market
One thing i noticed in all this 10 years that whenever i worked for a big organisation, good pay etc i was kicked out soon
because the competition was hard to handle.
Whenever i got a menial job i have lasted through the months and when i wanted to quit they have asked me to stay.
so i can say that menial jobs work out though i am qualified etc.
Well you should keep applying online, placement agencies(which dont charge), go out into the market dont be afraid
but i guess dont walk into big organisation.....i dont know i wouldnt
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The only thing right in this wrong world is
WRONG PLANET
I think the psyching yourself up bit is all you can do. It is harder to make that first stab at it but I think once you start it can go on a roll. Sit down one day and write a list of all your advantages (experience etc) and focus on those. Try to imagine yourself in an interview and how you would sell yourself on your advantages.
Today I had a meeting with a work psychologist and he helped me to focus on my positive attributes.
I'm in a similar situation actually so I can relate...I'm currently working on getting an internship but my multitude of online applications has essentially resulted in zilch lol. I have extremely good qualifications for most of the positions I'm applying for though so I know I *can* get one, yet I'm still having a huge amount of difficulty actually *getting* one.
The best advice I can give is just to keep at it, the more applications you send out and people you talk to the better your chances. Once you start letting yourself lose motivation, and get discouraged, the whole experience just becomes that much harder and more grueling. Keep your hope up and I'm sure you'll have no problems!
Also contact with whoever's doing the hiring is apparently extremely important. Don't ask me why, but if they can put a face or a voice to your application it does give you a much greater chance of being called for an interview. I'm not sure what kind of work you're in so I can't offer much advice as to walking in and such (since that can have a very different affect depending on the type of business).
I spend a equal amount of time every day - between doing house work, my hobbies and my responsibilities and looking for a job.
I treat looking for a job the same as having a job.
It is discouraging when you look a very long time and cannot find anything.
It is even worse to find something where you have to travel and you make a big investment into getting the job, only to have the rug pulled out from under you.
A couple of years ago, I took a position - doing a job that I had done 12 years before - for one dollar a hour less then what I was making 12 years ago.
It ended up being that the people I was working for were unreliable and the agreement I made with them for the starting and quitting time was not the same as what they actually did once I was hired.
I had to drive 75 miles one way to get to work in the middle of the day - rush hour traffic at 5 PM in Pittsburgh can be a bear.
The road was under construction along the way and the third day of work the windshield in my car got broke by a passing vehicle that was speeding in a construction zone.
At the end of the week, I had to tell the employer that I could not work from 6 PM till 7 Am, drive 3 hours each way, take a hour off each night for lunch and still be able to go home, sleep, pack a lunch, drive back to work and do it all over again, when the agreed time was 6 PM to 6 AM.......
I was getting about 3 or 4 hours a day of sleep.
I was falling asleep on the drive home in the morning.
I made $440.00 - before taxes and the windshield cost $400.00
I could have stayed home, not did anything, and still have been $400 ahead at the end of the week.
6 trips to Pittsburgh at $40.00 a trip + $50 for food + $45 they made me pay for company tee shirts - I made less then one dollar an hour. And then on top of that to loose $400 for the windshield - was the icing on the cake.
Sometimes you just can't get ahead!
Hey look, I signed up just for you. I found your post and this site by typing in "job hunt anxiety" or something like that.
You are on the right track. Stop relying on applying online. Most people don't have the education and experience to escape the black hole of applying online. It's probably less effective than just sending out resumes to potential supervisors and employers at this point. You want to get your name matched with you as a person, but walking into a big office probably isn't the right way to do it. That's probably what you wanted to hear though since the thought of doing that makes you nervous.
What you do is find a friend or family member who has a friend or family member, who has a friend or family member, who has a friend who is hiring or will be hiring soon. You aren't asking a stranger for a job; you're asking a friend or family member if they know someone who is well employed or well connected. Then they introduce you to someone who might be a stranger, but there's no harm in asking your friend or family member for a little extra information about that person. It gives you something to talk about.
These introductions are low pressure; never ask for a job. Tell them what you do, show them you are a knowledgeable person, and ask if they can introduce you to more contacts. It's very low pressure and there isn't any rejection. Just keep networking and dropping the occasional resume until lots of people know your name and your desired job. You might even find someone who doesn't want to go through the trouble of writing a job description and filtering hundreds of applicants. They meet with you, ask what you'd like to do at their company and how'd you do it, agree that you're well qualified, and hire you right after the meeting.
Don't lose hope. A lot of people get their jobs this way. Just keep trying and you'll find a job.
These introductions are low pressure; never ask for a job. Tell them what you do, show them you are a knowledgeable person, and ask if they can introduce you to more contacts. It's very low pressure and there isn't any rejection. Just keep networking and dropping the occasional resume until lots of people know your name and your desired job. You might even find someone who doesn't want to go through the trouble of writing a job description and filtering hundreds of applicants. They meet with you, ask what you'd like to do at their company and how'd you do it, agree that you're well qualified, and hire you right after the meeting.
Don't lose hope. A lot of people get their jobs this way. Just keep trying and you'll find a job.
You do know you're posting this advice at a place largely full of people who find this kind of 'social networking' and gladhanding to be the equivalent to climbing Mount Everest, right?
I don't even consider myself on the spectrum, and your advice sounds nigh on impossible for me. (Who's either an extremely high introvert with social phobia tendencies, or whatever...*shrugs* *doesn't know*)
Just...not all of us are like that. It's not 'easy.'
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Your Aspie score: 103 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 94 of 200
You seem to have both Aspie and neurotypical traits
dx'd: A.D.D.
First of all, I resonate with your experience.
In reply to your question: I know this sounds depressing, but: Just...maybe try to become 'numb' to it? Like, just go through the motions and let your feelings numb out about it?
I realize that wouldn't be helpful in an actual interview scenario, where you probably have to try to seem somewhat upbeat and positive and somewhat self-assured...but I mean in just the day-to-day sending out resumés and posting applications bit.
I don't know that there are any good tips unless you have some good kind of anti-anxiety medication of some sort.
Maybe...I don't know...try to psych yourself into the mentality, going in, like you don't need the job - you're just 'interested' (as in curious) about it. Don't try to convey that air to anyone you're interviewing with - rather, just have that as your private mentality in the back of your mind: like that you're a wealthy millionare or something and you're just feeling out this job because you're bored (or curious). If you can kind of 'act' that role in your mind, perhaps it'll be enough of a pretend 'role'/scenario that it'll take the edge off. Just for a little bit, you know?
I don't know. After you've been going through the motions of job-searching for a while I think you just start to get blasé about this anyway...so it's not too hard to subtly mentally shift your attitude to an "I don't care/don't expect anything" one, anyway. *shrugs* Maybe?
Sorry...this is probably all really bad or sucky advice.
_________________
Your Aspie score: 103 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 94 of 200
You seem to have both Aspie and neurotypical traits
dx'd: A.D.D.
"You do know you're posting this advice at a place largely full of people who find this kind of 'social networking' and gladhanding to be the equivalent to climbing Mount Everest, right? "
tsukaima, as Ember_Of implied, I'm sorry if my advice is completely useless. And just throw it in the trash if you can. I'm sorry if my advice hurt anyone in some way.
Anyway, I think everyone is in agreement that walking into a corporation with your resume and asking a stranger for an interview is not the right route for you, or most people really, to go when searching for a job. That's the equivalent of jumping to the moon if we're talking about social interactions that are like climbing Mount Everest. If you talk to anyone at all in your life, tell them that you are looking for a job and see if they are willing to help you meet other people who can help with your job search, or even speak on your behalf.
tsukaima, as Ember_Of implied, I'm sorry if my advice is completely useless. And just throw it in the trash if you can. I'm sorry if my advice hurt anyone in some way.
I wouldn't say it is completely useless, however, it is getting the cart ahead of the horse. To say that networking is how to get a job is missing the point... Networking, which seems to be what you describe, sounds great... but some of us are horrible at it. Some of the jobs I've had in the past were based on who I know, but it doesn't seem to be a system that for me I'm able to leverage at will, and I think most people here would agree.
It is incredibly frustrating to be effectively LOCKED OUT of many jobs because you don't know the right people. Frequently company requirements state that jobs have to be posted publicly for X number of days. Much of the time however, those job postings are effectively lies because the managers already plan to hire their best friend's brother, etc.
I've tried job referrals from relatives before, and almost every single time it's been incredibly awkward. Usually I'm not even close to being a fit for the job they referred me to, and somehow I don't know how to navigate past that and just say "give me the damn job because my sister is screwing your boss's brother" -- which is of course not what I say. Which seems to be what everyone else does. And somehow this is MY FAULT for not properly following up on the referral???
I guess there isn't an easy answer for it... If the way to find a job is to network, and you are someone who just doesn't "get" networking, then you're screwed. Simple as that. So I guess I'm here to simply have others who understand my frustrations....
@ tsukaima 3/15
It's true that probably only 25% of all available jobs are posted. Government contractors and non-profits have to post all available jobs. Everyone else does it out of desperation because they don't want to deal with the flood of applicants who are applying for anything that's posted. I've given up on those postings unless they were posted within the last week or I know two people who would know the hiring manager.
Very few people can give you a job. I don't ask for a job; I ask for more people. But when you go to someone who cares about you and tell them about your struggles, they want to do something. Anything. They know you are a capable and good person and don't understand why it's so hard for you to find a job. That's when you get them referring you to strange jobs (happened to me before I understood networking and still does) or even worse, they tell you to apply online! I don't have any advice on how to tell them politely "No, that's not going to work out for me", but I am always firm on saying that I don't expect a job offer to avoid some of the wacky job referrals. I want to strengthen my connection with them and get help finding the right person who can hire me for the right job. I'm not sure if I've found the right person yet (BTW that's the great thing about networking, someone might say they don't have a job for you now, but in six months something perfect comes up and they know your name), but I'm sure I get closer everyday.
Oh, I should mention why I tell people I don't expect a job offer. 1) it takes pressure off them. They want to help, but they don't have a job for me. 2) It takes pressure off of me. I know that I can blow the conversation and my career isn't over. 3) It stops them from referring me to ridiculous positions (usually). 4) If they have a job offer and can hire me, IT DOESN'T stop them from asking me if I would be interested. It'll come up anyway when I say what I do and what I'm looking for
So much this. One problem I've had a lot involves people saying "My/my dad's/my friend's company has an opening for an Electrical Engineer, you should apply!" Then they get mad when I don't apply, despite the fact my degree's in Chemical Engineering (according to them, all engineering degrees are the same). Or, people will say "Oh, you don't have a PhD or the 5 years minimum experience, but you should still apply!" Considering most companies (at least, the ones to which I have applied) have online applications, and a little questionnaire at the end, and if you don't have the qualifications, you just get an auto-rejection screen or e-mail.
Thing is, I think a lot of the "apply for jobs you're not even remotely qualified for" comes from the idea that you have to apply for hundreds or thousands of jobs to get just one.
Personally, I've been on unemployment since August... supposedly you have to apply for 5 jobs per week. However, unless I move to another city, which I cannot afford, I've run out of jobs that I'm even remotely qualified for to apply to at that rate. There are just occasional new ones that I apply to, but still get no responses. So I either need to apply to junk I have no chance to even get, or just hope that they never decide to check my work search log.... cause if they do I'll lose my unemployment.
Since then, I have been having a hard time making myself go out and job-hunt. The longer I stay at home alone, the harder it is to go out in public and put on the job-hunt persona.
I have been sending out applications, and getting no bites. At this point, I feel like I need to start showing up to places in person and make my case rather than silently sending off applications hoping for a response that doesn't come.
But putting myself out there as a walk-in job applicant is terrifying. I have always had a hard time with this. In the past, though, I could write a good resume, and if I got a response I could psych myself up for an interview and do okay. But now with no nibbles on anything, I have to go out cold....
before I talk myself in circles here, I'll just finish. Has anyone got tips for getting over job hunt anxiety?
Sending applications online is okay but honestly I think your best bet on getting a job is to walk right in a place and speak to the manager. I know it's scary but sometimes you just have to suck it up and make yourself go. Once you go through a whole day of walking around and sending out applications you'll feel like you've achieved something at the end of the day. You might even score an interview while you're doing it, that happened to me before. It gets easier the more places you go to. Just remember to dress nicely, bring enough resumes and any other information you might need like references, CPR, Smart Serve, police check...stuff like that. Remember to smile and be polite and if you meet the manager to shake their hand. Good Luck! I know you can do it.
Another good way to break it down is to plan where you'll go each day. ex-Mon: I'll go to the north part of town, Tues: South, Wed: different town, Thurs: mall, Fri: plaza across the street, etc...
