Bullied by Manipulative colleagues

Page 1 of 1 [ 14 posts ] 

namaste
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 14 Apr 2011
Age: 42
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,365
Location: Hindustan

22 Mar 2012, 4:39 am

I have been bullied by 2 of my manipulative colleagues
today we had to be in office seated for watching CD's
They came and sat down leaving one chair in between empty
Then they started pushing the chair besides me here and there but yet they were not
sitting on that chair since they didnt want to give me company we work as a team
and we have to be present in the same school yet they ignore me.

Another girl from another school came and sat on that chair and she was talking nicely with me
when this two girls started listening to our conversation and they even interfered when we were conversing
when i was about to leave for home with this good colleague the bullying girls asked the good colleague
to wait and watch the CD and they were telling her that something good is coming up but i insisted her to leave
so this good colleague got up and left with me.

This two are completely ignoring me and giving me cold shoulder i feel sad :cry: :cry: :cry: i have not done
anything bad with them infact i was so nice with them


_________________
The only thing right in this wrong world is
WRONG PLANET


namaste
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 14 Apr 2011
Age: 42
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,365
Location: Hindustan

29 Mar 2012, 8:05 am

New update on the bullying

Now this girl is using her group against me so its 6:1 that is me against 6 people she
is using all the seniors and powerful people in there against me.

She called up one of the seniors and asked her to inform me that i should call her up.
After 10 minutes this senior again took a round and asked me whether i called her up...i replied NO

Its a herd mentality the wolves and dogs hunt in pack similar to this NT's
whereas I am like the lion i dont need a herd for hunting i am enough for myself.

she would conspiring new and new plans to get me..........i need to be on alert in next few days.


_________________
The only thing right in this wrong world is
WRONG PLANET


OliveOilMom
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 11 Nov 2011
Age: 56
Gender: Female
Posts: 11,447
Location: About 50 miles past the middle of nowhere

29 Mar 2012, 8:51 am

That doesn't sound at all like bullying. It sounds like rude behavior, yes, but not at all like bullying.

Catagorizing someone not sitting beside you or leaving you out of something as bullying does a great disservice to people whose lives were made miserable by actual bullying.

I'm not trying to argue that one level of bullying is worse than another, I'm trying to argue that this was simply rude behavior, not bullying.


_________________
I'm giving it another shot. We will see.
My forum is still there and everyone is welcome to come join as well. There is a private women only subforum there if anyone is interested. Also, there is no CAPTCHA. ;-)

The link to the forum is http://www.rightplanet.proboards.com


namaste
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 14 Apr 2011
Age: 42
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,365
Location: Hindustan

29 Mar 2012, 10:55 am

OliveOilMom wrote:
That doesn't sound at all like bullying. It sounds like rude behavior, yes, but not at all like bullying.

Catagorizing someone not sitting beside you or leaving you out of something as bullying does a great disservice to people whose lives were made miserable by actual bullying.

I'm not trying to argue that one level of bullying is worse than another, I'm trying to argue that this was simply rude behavior, not bullying.

ok what about the time when she called me up and asked me to call the supervisor and find out whether school is working or having holiday and to get back to her and let her know the same when i said i that would just send an sms to supervisor and ask about the same....she replied Ok and banged the phone.


_________________
The only thing right in this wrong world is
WRONG PLANET


OliveOilMom
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 11 Nov 2011
Age: 56
Gender: Female
Posts: 11,447
Location: About 50 miles past the middle of nowhere

29 Mar 2012, 7:02 pm

namaste wrote:
OliveOilMom wrote:
That doesn't sound at all like bullying. It sounds like rude behavior, yes, but not at all like bullying.

Catagorizing someone not sitting beside you or leaving you out of something as bullying does a great disservice to people whose lives were made miserable by actual bullying.

I'm not trying to argue that one level of bullying is worse than another, I'm trying to argue that this was simply rude behavior, not bullying.

ok what about the time when she called me up and asked me to call the supervisor and find out whether school is working or having holiday and to get back to her and let her know the same when i said i that would just send an sms to supervisor and ask about the same....she replied Ok and banged the phone.


It sounds like she's really rude, but that doesn't sound like bullying. Bullying, IMO, would be something like when you said you would just text instead, if she had yelled at you and gone on about how she told you to call and she meant call not text, then tried to imply that you were either stupid or smarter than everybody, or insubordinant, or whatever she could use that to come up with.

I have no doubt that lots of people are really rude. I hate it when people are rude like that for no reason. I still stand by my belief that just plain rudeness is not bullying.

Have you tried being rude back with these people? I'm not the best at dealing with people, but I tend to get rude right back at them. I wouldn't think that would work with a supervisor and it's not a smart idea at all for her, but what about coworkers? Have you tried giving it right back to them?


_________________
I'm giving it another shot. We will see.
My forum is still there and everyone is welcome to come join as well. There is a private women only subforum there if anyone is interested. Also, there is no CAPTCHA. ;-)

The link to the forum is http://www.rightplanet.proboards.com


namaste
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 14 Apr 2011
Age: 42
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,365
Location: Hindustan

29 Mar 2012, 9:43 pm

no i am not rude with her neither with anyone else
i practice meditation and i have learned to be nice and good with everyone
i go out of my way to be nice with people which is what spirituality teaches
but such teachings cannot be applied in todays dangerous world.


_________________
The only thing right in this wrong world is
WRONG PLANET


OliveOilMom
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 11 Nov 2011
Age: 56
Gender: Female
Posts: 11,447
Location: About 50 miles past the middle of nowhere

29 Mar 2012, 11:40 pm

namaste wrote:
no i am not rude with her neither with anyone else
i practice meditation and i have learned to be nice and good with everyone
i go out of my way to be nice with people which is what spirituality teaches
but such teachings cannot be applied in todays dangerous world.


You've always been really nice on here, and so I figured that you were in real life too. I hate that they are being rude to you. I do wish you would be rude right back to them. Sometimes people don't realize how they are being until somebody does it back to them and for some reason that makes them realize it. I hate to think of them being rude and you just taking it.


_________________
I'm giving it another shot. We will see.
My forum is still there and everyone is welcome to come join as well. There is a private women only subforum there if anyone is interested. Also, there is no CAPTCHA. ;-)

The link to the forum is http://www.rightplanet.proboards.com


namaste
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 14 Apr 2011
Age: 42
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,365
Location: Hindustan

30 Mar 2012, 4:21 am

OliveOilMom wrote:
You've always been really nice on here, and so I figured that you were in real life too. I hate that they are being rude to you. I do wish you would be rude right back to them. Sometimes people don't realize how they are being until somebody does it back to them and for some reason that makes them realize it. I hate to think of them being rude and you just taking it.

ok i will try it back at them....
well yesterday i took the first step towards doing that
i didnt call her up when she left the message that i should call her.


_________________
The only thing right in this wrong world is
WRONG PLANET


OliveOilMom
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 11 Nov 2011
Age: 56
Gender: Female
Posts: 11,447
Location: About 50 miles past the middle of nowhere

30 Mar 2012, 8:32 am

namaste wrote:
OliveOilMom wrote:
You've always been really nice on here, and so I figured that you were in real life too. I hate that they are being rude to you. I do wish you would be rude right back to them. Sometimes people don't realize how they are being until somebody does it back to them and for some reason that makes them realize it. I hate to think of them being rude and you just taking it.

ok i will try it back at them....
well yesterday i took the first step towards doing that
i didnt call her up when she left the message that i should call her.


A lot of time your tone can convery the fact that someone was being rude to you. Try and notice how other people answer rude people back and see the different tone they use. It's not exactly a sarcastic tone, but it's close. You can be rude back to them even using polite words as long as your tone and facial expression convey it. I wish I knew how to describe it but I don't.

Sometimes a smartass answer works too. Something like "Oh, I never would have thought of that, I must be REALLY stupid" or "Excuse me for talking while you were interrupting". Those kind of smartass comments can't be said with the tone I was describing above though. You have to use a polite and sincere tone with them and smile.

I'll see if I can find something on YouTube that explains what I'm talking about.

I also just thought of something else. You live in India don't you? Your culture there, as far as communication, etc, may be completely different from mine, so my advice may be completely worthless. Have you ever been to the USA, and if so is the culture there different from here?


_________________
I'm giving it another shot. We will see.
My forum is still there and everyone is welcome to come join as well. There is a private women only subforum there if anyone is interested. Also, there is no CAPTCHA. ;-)

The link to the forum is http://www.rightplanet.proboards.com


namaste
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 14 Apr 2011
Age: 42
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,365
Location: Hindustan

30 Mar 2012, 8:56 am

I understood what you are trying to tell people here use such tones i have heard them being very assertive and direct while talking....
but i was brought up in bad manner and was always victimised or bullied i dont know how to back answer or be arrogant.......i mean i am a punching bag for everyone....


_________________
The only thing right in this wrong world is
WRONG PLANET


OliveOilMom
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 11 Nov 2011
Age: 56
Gender: Female
Posts: 11,447
Location: About 50 miles past the middle of nowhere

30 Mar 2012, 11:40 am

namaste wrote:
I understood what you are trying to tell people here use such tones i have heard them being very assertive and direct while talking....
but i was brought up in bad manner and was always victimised or bullied i dont know how to back answer or be arrogant.......i mean i am a punching bag for everyone....


Try thinking of a few answers that you can give back and practicing. Then try it a few times in real life with someone else. Maybe try it on strangers first, people you don't ever see again, like when someone at the grocery store is rude to you or something. Maybe record yourself and see if it's coming across how you want it to. It will take work and effort, but I have faith that you can do it if you put your mind to it. Let me know how the progress is going.

I actually have a friend who used to be very passive and polite and shy. I gave her "b***h lessons" and it's helped a lot lol!


_________________
I'm giving it another shot. We will see.
My forum is still there and everyone is welcome to come join as well. There is a private women only subforum there if anyone is interested. Also, there is no CAPTCHA. ;-)

The link to the forum is http://www.rightplanet.proboards.com


zaidjit
Blue Jay
Blue Jay

User avatar

Joined: 21 Oct 2010
Age: 44
Gender: Female
Posts: 85

30 Mar 2012, 3:56 pm

namaste wrote:
I understood what you are trying to tell people here use such tones i have heard them being very assertive and direct while talking....
but i was brought up in bad manner and was always victimised or bullied i dont know how to back answer or be arrogant.......i mean i am a punching bag for everyone....


I am also a punching bag for people.

Perhaps you should just ignore these people. Be polite and professional, but just ignore their transgressions. To engage them in being rude back would escalate the situation and perpetuate the nasty feelings. View them only as co-workers and not as friends. These are people you only have to deal with to do your job. I am finally coming to terms with the fact that there are people out there that find me annoying no matter how nice I am to them.

Co-workers are not your friends. They may become your friends, but that is a process I haven't a clue about. I hope you find peace in your working environment soon.



namaste
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 14 Apr 2011
Age: 42
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,365
Location: Hindustan

31 Mar 2012, 6:48 am

THis bully came to me today and started speaking very sweetly.

She asked me to do her work I did help her out but she was so messy that all the files we worked on got computer virus effected....ultimately she got fed up and was just chilling out.

As i was leaving for home she told me that she will email me entire files and i can work on them at home....
come on am I such a fool i would do her work and that to at home.........whereas she was just chilling out and gossiping.

I am not going to do any of her work....................hell with her :twisted:


_________________
The only thing right in this wrong world is
WRONG PLANET


namaste
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 14 Apr 2011
Age: 42
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,365
Location: Hindustan

31 Mar 2012, 6:51 am

zaidjit wrote:
I am also a punching bag for people.

Perhaps you should just ignore these people. Be polite and professional, but just ignore their transgressions. To engage them in being rude back would escalate the situation and perpetuate the nasty feelings. View them only as co-workers and not as friends. These are people you only have to deal with to do your job. I am finally coming to terms with the fact that there are people out there that find me annoying no matter how nice I am to them.

Co-workers are not your friends. They may become your friends, but that is a process I haven't a clue about. I hope you find peace in your working environment soon.

Right actually she is acting weird with me because she just wants to be my colleague and not my friend....i understood that now.
she is getting me to do her work but ignoring me completely as a friend....

i will do the same and just be casual with her.


_________________
The only thing right in this wrong world is
WRONG PLANET