Employment Challenges

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Hello,

I suspect my boyfriend has mild Asperger's and I am researching how this may affecting his and my life.

He has a history of getting laid-off within 1-2 weeks of being hired. He normally works small, retail, customer service oriented jobs with other menial tasks like restocking shelves. The reasons for getting let go quickly are vague, like "not catching on," and "not fitting in."

I am suspecting the problem is, at least in his case, an inability to accurately understand and therefore execute the specific requests of his supervisors. He has the tendency to "do too much," and not always exactly what is asked.

I am wondering if he may have challenges elsewhere that I would never know about, like how he interacts with his superiors, the schedule he keeps, and what he may be saying to customers. He is not very self aware, although very honest with me about what he does notice. As far as he is concerned, they let him go because they were disorganized and not profiting. I want to be able to help him recognize some other ways he can improve at work.

For those of you who have employment difficulties, have you identified any general trends among you? Do you know your common challenges? Any advice you have for each other and my boyfriend?

Thank you!

The biggest ones for me would be

1. Just appearing "off" in my mannerisms, voice and so forth.

2. Being way too quiet for people's liking.

3. The magical ability to become massively confused by the slightest ambiguity.

As for me,

What threw me off was the social stuff. Conversations. When to interrupt and how? When to modulate your voice? When to stop talking? Not easy.

My recommendation.... if you can afford it somehow, get a diagnosis so that he can get referred for services and better know his strengths. It might also help him frame his difficulties so that he can explain them to employers and keep from getting fired.

I explained my difficulties to my employer in a positive light on day two of my job and have been able to keep it, so far. I have been here ten months, and at age twenty eight, that is the longest time I have had a full time job.

During my stressful job, I also did not pay enough attention to detail, at times was a bit OCD, and spaced out a bit unintentionally.

In my younger days, I'd just get overwhelmed and leave...permanently. I also avoid direct contact with supervisors, which isn't always helpful. Some things I've learned...

-Stressful situations and even meltdowns don't last forever.
-Don' t tell your boss what they're doing wrong.
-Sometimes it's better not to be overly direct or blunt.
-It' s okay to ask for help sometimes.

Not to say I don't struggle anymore, but I can stick out a job longer than a month. I've also learned it's beneficial to try to connect with coworkers, vs keeping so focused on what you're doing you ignore them. (This is the most recent one, because it never occurred to me that actually stopping and exchanging pleasantries is expected and appreciated.)

i was not self aware myself and ended up making lot of mistakes.

1) In my first job my boss had hired me because he was a womaniser he used to call me into his cabin and come very close to me i never really understood what he wanted and within one month he sacked me........i was like a blank slate.

2) My next job was again in a male dominated place they didnt like my social skills but one day my boss told me that you are attractive and good looking and lot of foreign clients visit us and you are presentable so he retained me but eventually i left because i realised he wanted something else from me.

3) Again my next job was in school teaching but the school made me do office chores, teaching and other chores like making bundle of books and there was harassment...so i eventually left

4) Next workplace i was on contract third party and again here i was over dressed i should be under dressed and act like stupid because i was hired through third party as a contract labourer eventually they asked me to leave

5) Another office and poor social skills i was disliked, hated and my colleagues avoided me to the chore........i used to sit alone and feel depressed

6) Present job able to handle the work but gets confused with social scenario, dont know whom to trust and whom not to, bullied by colleagues and their work dumped on me, ostracised by co worker, made to sit alone and eat lunch.

I guess the poor social skills and social cues are whats making me a bad worker

Perhaps try other fields if he's interested in anything else. If he has a particular skill, then see if either of you knows anyone who's looking for someone with that skill - it may be easier to work with someone you already know than new people. I think customer service orientated jobs are likely to require more people interaction skills which can result in challenges.

_________________
A smile costs nothing

One of the things that helped me the most in a retail setting was learning a script to follow for small talk and then a step-by-step process to find what they wanted.

Another thing that helped me was being "proactive" on problems, so I could tell the boss, "This happened and here's how I am taking care of it."

I second mindsigh's post. Two very good solid tips.