Keeping a job and passing probation

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I have no problems getting jobs once I am at the interview stage asuming I have the right experience etc and I always come across really well. My issues usually come a few months down the line at a probation review. It is possible my issue is that I have never had a permanent full time job before and the jobs I have had have all been on a contract, ranging from an 11 month one to a 6 month one where I am now.

I have just had my 3 month probation review for my current job and based on my 'performance' it was extended by 1 month. Due to other issues and the fact that HR and my manager conducted the review badly and basically told me I had passed, then a week later that it was being extended, I appealed and won so I have now passed my probation.

However that aside I am concerned that I seem to be in a pattern where I come across as a great candidate with loads of potential and after a few months they actually get to know me and my true aspie colours shine through. By this point they can't wait to get rid of me. Part of it probably stems from me asking 'too many questions' because I am always keen to make sure I am doing things correctly. It also feels like I can't do right for doing wrong. I am asked to do a task and then there is surprise when I have not completed another when I have been told the new task is a priority.

I have took the decision that I do not tell employers about my diagnosis as I have no trouble at the stages leading up to a job. But I am having second thoughts as to whether it would be beneficial to tell them when I get the job or during the role in the hope that they understand and explain things better and accept why I ask questions. Though my fear is that they treat me like a child or like I am less than 'normal' and they can't wait to get rid of me.

In short I am now confirmed in my job for the whole 6 month contract until the end of Jan 2013 (though mostly through their fault resulting in them having to pass my probation) but I am pretty certain I will be gone at the end of the contract and I feel there is nothing I can do now really but wait. Though it is a local company and one of those ones where everyone who is taken on even on a temporary contract is kept on so it will look very odd when I leave and indicate that I must have been very bad at the job to not get kept on.

Any advice or a different perspective would be appreciated. I have thought about it so much and I feel that I am never going to have a permanent job. I always considered that my Apergers was quite mild, but maybe I am just very good at putting on an act for a short while and eventually it shines through without me noticing it.

I had a job a few years ago when, on the very last day of my probation, they called me into the office and asked for my ID. 3 months - up in smoke, just like that. I was so furious there must've been smoke coming out of my ears. I had to leave the premises quickly, though, otherwise I feared I would've been like those guys who tell their bosses, "Don't go anywhere. I'll be right back. Just have to get something out of my car."

You need to use the feedback concerning your job performance to determine whether AS is causing the problem. If they tell you that they are unhappy with something that has nothing to do with AS, you should probably stick with non-disclosure.

There's an Urban Legend that goes something like this:

"If a laid-off worker is hired back, and then laid off again on the 89th day, then the employer does not have to pay unemployment compensation to that worker. If the worker is laid off on the 90th day, then the employer must pay unemployment compensation to that worker. This has led to workers being hired for 89 days, and then being laid off for 90 days in an ongoing cycle. Thus, if your probationary period is 90 days long, and today is your 89th day, you'd better hope that you make it until quitting time; because if you do, then the job is yours. If not, then better luck next time ..."

I don't know how true this is.

I tried posting this earlier. Will try again now.

Dear CarpeDiem,

I have had a similar story until recently, and have really lucked out and applied my hardearned knowledge at my latest job. It is a good fit. That is why I am hoping that my experience can help you in some way, even though I cannot tell you what to do or not to do.

In my new job, I have been repeatedly told that I am a great employee, and people ask for my feedback, and I am made to feel welcome.

It sounds to me as though your employers are giving subtle hints to look elsewhere. I would do this now while you are still employed. Remember: everyone goes through this at some point. You have done well at interviews, so I know that you can pull off this one more. You sound like you have learned a lot and grown in this past job. Take this new knowledge and apply it to your newer job.

There isn't "nothing to do but wait", even if you are not fighting for your current job. I have created a list of things I have started doing, but first am giving a paragraph of my recent experience.

To give you some context for my comments, I was hired on at what I thought would be a permanent job after a few contracts. I LOVED it there. But unfortunately lacked experience prior to being hired on. Because in part due to my then undiagnosed Aspergers and also due to my lack of experience (on areas I was not heavily questioned on in the interview), I was let go after a probation extension. My manager told me at that job, that though I was learning and progressing, that I needed to start afresh so that I could feel respected. I gave it my all till the very end, and during my feedback session, my supervisor had silent tears. Most importantly, I do not blame her, as I know that my organization had made a number of personnel cuts, and she had a very very hard workload on her hands.

1) I got formal feedback from my employer, and I also solicited it from friends and family too.

You are smart to know and look on wrongplanet. I requested an exit interview. I thought of good things to say to avoid burning bridges, and continued giving it my all. I did this with my last job so that they could see what the posting was vs. what my level of knowledge was, and how I would recommend changes to the posting, as it had not been updated since new duties were added on. The valuable valuable feedback I got has helped me learn about my social communication style. And I was told that I was resilient and dedicated, and that in conduct/sincerity, I was a professional.

2) I looked for a job coach, so I could get things from a neurotypical perspective without necessarily having to ask my manager all the time. That being said, it is good to keep your manager in the loop too! This has been good for my time management skills, and I will soon be covering communication and spatial organization in greater depth.

3) This was not intentional on my part and might backfire. But it was good for me. My reference to my current job let my manager know of my quirks. When I heard of this, I gave a soft disclosure to my manager that focused on my strengths, while touching on my learning styles on my second day of work. I can provide a bit of a template if you like. A friend gave me the template, and she had good luck with it too. Soft disclosure means identifying your quirks without necessarily identifying Aspergers. The way my manager responded to this was so comforting that should I feel the need to mention Asperger's, I know that I can trust her.

4) I check in with my manager with a list of things I would like to prioritize and do. I run it through her. A bit like this. "So, there are ______ events/tasks/items going on with me this month. I am thinking of ________ing them like this. I estimate that it should take ______ time." What are your thoughts?" And sometimes, I even ask, "is now a good time to talk? I just need to run something through you." So that she does not feel I am stampeding her with my questions. And yes, I am a big question asker. It's not whether or not you ask, it is just how.

5) Take heart. You are being courageous and going through a difficult time. Know that you are not on your own. It may feel like the contracts are unending now. Certainly, when I was let go, I felt that nothing would ever be right again. I had no family in the area, or friends either. But friends came from the most unlikely places. And it led to my diagnosis, and to a better job. I needed to move, and found a smaller, friendlier city. Finding out my Aspie traits helped immensely.

I really hope that you have found at least some of this to be a help. If you have any questions, pop me a message.