Nobody Wants Me

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I'm in my 3rd year in an engineering degree, and I've been trying to find somebody who's interested in letting me do research with him/her this summer, but no one seems to be interested. This is kind of surprising to me because the academic part of school has always been so easy for me that I assumed that I'd always be able to get whatever want I went after. Now I'm afraid that I'll have an engineering degree that I won't be able to use. I'd be completely helpless and worthless then. I don't think anyone will be willing to take care of me if I'm not able to take care of myself. Also I always thought that maybe people would be more accepting of me if I made something of myself, so that maybe they would think of me as an eccentric smart-guy rather than just a freak. I don't think I could be an entrepreneur because I don't have any sense for what other people want, so getting a job, or even just some experience that I could put on a resume in this case, will require that I make somebody like me, because apparently being qualified isn't enough. I'm more than qualified for all the research opportunities I've asked to be a part of, but nobody responds. I don't have very much experience in the real world, so I don't know why this is happening to me.

I thought I would like to become a professor, because then I'd get to stay in a semi-protected environment with a stable job where I could focus more on things I wanted to do, and not have to put up with corporate BS, but maybe I will have to find a job as an engineer. I've totally screwed myself for that because all the rest of my peers already have job experience, and I don't. I'm afraid that even if I get a job, that I will be under-employed.

And now, a song for the friendship challenged.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uPudE8nDog0[/youtube]

I personally haven't asked for any research positions. But how many professors do you actually talk to outside of class? Take an interest in what they do and them personally. As well as asking for help with classes and your interests. Helps you to get recommendations and other things from them.

I have asked a couple professors in person, and it is either in the initial interview that we find each other incompatible (for instance, one professor wanted a very long-term commitment that I did not think was possible for me), or they don't respond when I follow through with an email later.

I had not really made any friends with any faculty while I have been here.

I've heard about a couple of ways to make it as an engineer... One is that you need industry experience or two, the people who power through school and go to grad school.

Have you thought about an internship or going to grad school?

I've thought about both of those things, those are the only two things I've thought about. Actually, my university has about a 95% hire rate for engineers, and it only dipped into the 80% during the recession. So it would be kind of pathetic if I couldn't get hired somewhere.

And the reason I want research experience is that I would rather go to grad school than work for a company, but I thought it would be silly to go to grad school without knowing what doing research was like (my understanding is that is a lot of what you do in grad school).

I don't really think anybody can help me. I never really tried making friends at university because I figured that if I was competent then I could get hired, but I guess I was wrong. I've looked over the messages I've sent professors, and I can't think of anything that is that bad. They are all factual and business oriented, so I don't figure I could have messed up NT social rules too badly that way. I don't know why this is happening.

Today I emailed all the professors back who have been ignoring me and I asked them to please at least tell me if they aren't interested, and most of them responded today positively. I've been waiting for nearly 2 months for one of these guys to respond. Maybe they are all autistic too and don't realize that you are supposed to respond when somebody talks to you.

Anyway I feel better now. I thought it was something wrong with me.

How long and detailed were your messages? Sometimes people won't take you too seriously if you prematurely unleash too much information before being brief and formal. Was the proposal to the point? Did your e-mail include a greeting, an introduction of yourself and sound formal enough? Professors should be obliged to respond in a timely manner unless they are on holiday.

Yay!

Oh, that's how it is, congratulations! I thought I read they were positive about not wanting to do research with you, which struck me as odd because it is not unlike professors to ignore students for too long unless the reasons are there. Still seems strange it would take them 2 months, however.

I'm glad they responded. : )

Job searching is a repetitive process and job seekers usually get a lot of no's before someone finally says yes I want to hire you. When I was an undergrad there were very few opportunities to do research, and those few undergrad opportunities went to lucky students who just seemed to be in the right place at the right time. Graduate school seems to be where a lot of research opportunities are. Like a LOT more. At that point you've proven yourself more too. Have you taken any research classes or looked at internships? Do you know which professors hav research labs and what type of research they focus on? Expressing interest in their research can help you to be more memorable if they do hav an opportunity in the future.