Advice on how not care about what others think.....

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I put this thread in this sub-forum, since all my core problems relate to caring about what people think.

I care that people think I am not a loser, so I work a crappy job even though I want to focus on college. I can support myself too, so money is not the issue at all. I can't do both.

I want to drop out of college, since the past 2 years were horrible, but I know college is probably the only way I am going to get ahead... so it'll take me 6 years instead of 4. I care about people's opinions, "why is it taking you so long".... is that logical???

I don't want to tell anyone what I am doing, including my mother, since I don't want people to expect things.... and I might fail.

I completely know how you feel.

I had to do my degree part time so as to not overload myself and end up as a total basket case, and worked a mind numbingly s**t job labelling beer bottles by hand.
I felt like dropping out of uni several times as I was given no support by my lectures despite having a statement of special educational needs which meant there where supposed to be systems in place to help me.

Through out my entire education it has been a struggle to get teachers to tack me seriously. Most seem to think people like us should be sat at the back of the class with the safety scissors and glitter glue.
My parents where told not to expect to much from me and that I probably would leave high school with no qualifications, but guess what? I hung in there got 12 GCSEs, 4 A levels, a HND, and a honours degree in Zoology.

There is no shame in tacking a few extra years to get where you want to be than a NT person, they wont have half of the fight you have, Just hang on a little longer it's worth the fight.
And don't let the b******s get you down.

You can't make yourself not care, but you can keep things in a proper perspective. First, people who think things about you don't know the whole story: the struggles you face, your circumstances, anything except, "He does this, and I did that." People routinely assume facts not in evidence, then come to erroneous conclusions.

Second, we forget sometimes that we should judge ourselves by our OWN standards, not other peoples. So what if that guy over there has a B.A degree at 22. It doesn't mean you're behind, it just means you're running a different race. There's no scoreboard to life, so quit assuming you're losing.

Third, don't be afraid of failure. In fact, try not to make any decisions based on fear, because they tend to be the worst ones anybody can make.

You're absolutely right. I'm being a p**** about this stuff, and I need to get my act together and get this stuff done. No one is going to help me. My family isn't supporting me. Why should I give a f*** about their opinions? It's my life not their!

Awesome for you that you accomplish all that in life.

I used to be this way. l went back to school when I had a small child to raise, and although I periodically felt as if I were on the verge of a breakdown, I managed to get my degree . It took six years instead of the three that I thought I could complete it in, and all the while I worried that people would think I was a loser! In fact, a few people that I knew had this attitude that I was only in school to avoid working and get free money. Which showed how stupid they were, because I worked part time on campus and was raising a child as well. And were they shocked when they ran into me years later and saw me driving a late model car, and found that I made more money than they did! So it was well worth it. Hang in there, you have what it takes!

Not caring about what people think is easy once you start realiing the following: anything weird you do, someone is probably already doing it. It's easier to not care what people think once you realize that you are not the weird one, and someone else out there is just like you. From the quirks to your beliefs to everything else about you. You may be one of a kind, but you are surely not alone in what you are, and those who shame you for who you are seem to commonly think otherwise.

For example, some of my quirks is that I eat candy based on math and logic, I wash all of my pots and pans on the inside and outside, I eat peanuts every morning because I believe it makes me more focused, I do things because I think it is normal because everyone else does them too, and it seems like the one who judges me the most are ones who don't recognize their own quirks. That there are something they do and think that isn't the norm either.

So, just think, the one way you can stop caring what people think is by realizing that you aren't alone in what you do, think and say Hell, whatever insecurity you have, I might have it, too.

I don't think it's a matter of not caring... just prioritizing what to care about. If people thought I was a loser in that kind of situation... then yes, it is a 'shrug it off' type of situation. If they are genuinely worried, that is a different scenario. And it being my mum, that would be a totally different way of handling it with her.

But a lot of people take extra time to do their degrees, my three cousins being a prime example, because of work or a learning/developmental condition. Even in my graduate degree, a lot of people did it part time. Work alone is a good excuse. Just know that, with some exceptions, you are not obligated to satisfy people's curiosity. Some of the brightest people I know did their degrees part time.