Job coach!

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My job coach in my last 2 meetings has said how good my communication skills are. NOW HOLD ON A SECOND isn't the very trait/foundation of aspergers/autism poor communication skills?

I told my brother about my job coache's remarkes and he said "he probably just said that too make you feel more confident." The job centre people as well say on my profile "james has good communication skills" and my old speech therapist upon meeting 3 years commented about how my communication improved.


Now even if my brother is wrong why might he make a good point about my job coach beating around the bush about my social skills? When i go out with my friends i am often left out sitting in the corner not saying much.

What makes you instantly think he's lying to you? It is possible to have Aspergers and still be an effective communicator. There is a distinct, albeit fine, line between communication and socialization, and it is fully possible to be proficient at one yet not the other.

I know that I may not have the best social skills in the world, but at the same time I know that I am far better than most people at communicating, particularly through writing. Verbally I could still use a little work but I get by just fine most of the time . Not to mention, you would be surprised at just how bad many people with top-notch social skills are at communicating. I did a project with this one guy, and while he had hundreds of friends and was always going out with them and such, he couldn't communicate in writing to save his life, it looked like something a third grader would write lol. He was a great person, but his communication skills left a lot to be desired.

I think there are different kinds of communication, too....so a person can be good at communicating in some ways/settings/contexts/roles, but not in others.

I can communicate really well in some ways but not others.

I know how communication works in some settings but not others.

I have words to talk about some things but no words at all for others.

(I'm referring mostly to verbal communication here.)

Communication is actually one of the traits that sets Aspergers apart. Most individuals on the autism spectrum have speech delays and/or difficulty with other forms of communication, but Aspies develop normally in that area and may even show above average skill in verbal/written communication. Where we differ is in the area of nonverbal communication (body language, eye contact, inflection, hidden meanings, etc). These are the details that tend to get classified as social skills, and it is entirely possible to struggle with social skills and still be an effective communicator.

I would suggest that you ask your coach to give you a more detailed explanation of what he means by communication. It may be that he's seen a recent improvement in your nonverbal communication that you aren't aware of, or he may be commenting on your verbal/written skills. Ask him specifically what you are doing well (so that you know to continue doing it) and what you can do to improve even further.

Yes, you can be a good communicator and not a good socializer. So, you might be great at giving a list of commands, or answering questions in detail. I myself can teach preschool classes, have a harder time with the preteens and be not great with adult conversation that is not about library books... the place where I work. Plus, your brother has known you for far longer. Sometimes siblings get used to seeing us in a certain light. I know that my family does not see changes in me as quickly as those not related do.