Another Disclosure Confusion Thread

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I know I've posted threads in the past saying that I disclose pretty much everywhere and responses have been mostly positive. I am, however, still indecisive when it comes to disclosing in the workplace. As the potential answer to this might be specific to my situation, I'll give a bit of background on why this is important for me to solidify right now.

I am involved in providing direct care to adults on the spectrum and am also involved in ASD-related research. In the future, I would like to become an ABA therapist. When I was looking for research opportunities in university and had an interview with the professor I am doing some work for now, he picked up that I am on the spectrum right away. I could tell by how even in that session, he went beyond what an average professor would do in terms of explaining to me how to communicate in a particular situation. Later, he invited me to speak on a panel, which I declined (I don't speak on panels for various reasons). When I attend autism conferences, people pick up on it right away, too. So here are two situations I am indecisive about.

1) I recently had an academic interview for a top-tier psychology program at my university. I am well-informed in the field and provided a lot of information in response to all of the coordinator's questions. However, I come off as stilted, make odd eye contact, have trouble with words, and might have therefore come off as uncomfortable and not charismatic enough. I have been thinking about writing some sort of follow-up letter explaining my diagnosis. Should I still do this, considering that it's been a week since the interview?

2) The prof I'm doing research work for told me about a volunteer research position at an ABA-related organization. Considering that I might possibly work for this organization in the future, and considering that there will be an interview for this position, do you think it's a good idea to disclose? They would probably figure it out after a while, anyway, although I've met plenty of young ABA therapists who don't seem familiar with adult diagnosis.

I'm thinking about this so much because timing is important and I never, ever want to use it as an excuse. Sometimes it feels like it's better to be safe than sorry. On the other hand, people can also start taking you less seriously once you do disclose. They might also underestimate your abilities. In research, I'm also afraid that people might see me as biased and think that if I'm talking about "personal experience", it means just my experience, despite the fact that I also have had experiences with a variety of people on the spectrum. I'm stuck

In response to number 1: If the position you applied for is for an ASD-related position, it's a good chance they've already figured it out. If not, it still seems too early for a disclosure letter. I'm very opposite to you about disclosure (I'm pretty discriminate about who i tell), but I wouldn't disclose before accepting a job and beginning work.

I think that you should continue to be open about disclosing in all of the situations you've described.

It's easy for others to pick up on the fact that you are on the spectrum, and you don't do compensatory things that allow you to appear less awkward. I don't think that this is a bad thing as long as you are advocate for yourself well so that other people will not make assumptions about your behavior. It's important to explain what you may have difficulty with in case some situations you are in require you to use the skills you struggle with. In these situations, it may be good to have a social interpreter, as long as you explain the concept to those involved beforehand.

As for people making assumptions about your personal experience, your wealth of both volunteer and paid experiences, plus your strong and dedicated commitment to your studies and your clear passion for the field proves that you are not making excuses. Any situation that you are dealing with that requires a resume will allow others to see your true capabilities.

I agree with her. I think you should disclose in both situations you mentioned.

Can I ask what kinds of general things people consider when thinking about if/when to disclose at work? I'm very independent and I'm not sure why I would disclose to my supervisors. I wouldn't want anything and I feel like the "quirky therapist" is a pretty accepted character... If things are going okay, is it really worth it?

I think it depends on how you come across. If you can "pass" well enough in your workplace that your symptoms don't get in the way of any aspects of your job, including interactions with your co-workers, then you don't need to disclose. Some of us have difficulty picking up on whether anything is going wrong socially, which is why it can be tricky to know whether to disclose or not, and which is why I seek a lot of explicit feedback on how I come across so that I can gauge my course of action. That being said, if people do not seem to act avoidantly around you, make disrespectful and demeaning comments or gestures toward you, or if there is nothing else strange happening with relation to you in the workplace, then you probably don't have anything to worry about.

I disclose a lot because several people have told me in the past that I send mixed messages, because I have major difficulty with regular social exchanges, and because I have some strong sensory aversions as well as OCD traits. In the past, when I did not disclose or explain my actions clearly, people would often completely cease to associate with me after only meeting me 2 or 3 times, with me thinking that everything went well. Unlike now, I used to have very low self-awareness and couldn't self-advocate at all. At this point, I realize that self-advocacy is important if I want to remain genuine and enjoy life instead of living in mounds of social anxiety (which has pretty much disappeared in me now). Now, I disclose before my relationships go awry, and I have found that people are typically very receptive and accepting... but perhaps it has to do with the fact that I am experienced and well-read in terms of proper disclosure and recognize that it entails more than just stating my diagnosis.

In these situations, based on the posts, I have decided to take a middle course. With 1), I will wait and see how the interview goes. If something is mentioned that hints to me that interpersonal skills are important at this position, then I will disclose. If not, then I'll just not say anything. They will probably figure it out sooner or later, anyway. With 2), I will ask my mentor (I meet for paid mentoring sessions with a professional) if it's appropriate to send an email like this to the program coordinator after more than a week since the time of the interview.

My two cents:

You are right to be cautious. If you do disclose, have a direct plan in mind on how you will focus on the wonderful attributes that you have because of AS that will make you good for the job. Your insider knowledge. Any sensory issue that you have learned to deal with.

Our situations are radically different, but when I tried to hide differences that I actively knew about, I ended up suffering. I felt embarrassed about myself because I did not know the problem, and I thought that I would never be happy again. It all ended happily when I left and got diagnosed. I did a soft disclosure, as this is not an ASD area that I work in, and am so much happier as a result.

I only found the guts to address this with the program coordinator today through an email. I did not disclose directly yet, though, because I'm not sure whether I might just be freaking out about nothing. I highly regret not mentioning it in the interview, however. That "interpersonal skills" part scared me a lot, I think (that was one of the two interview objectives stated by the coordinator at the beginning of the interview). I did not expect something like this happening in the academia. Disclosing AS might have automatically put me into the inferior social skills category, even though I am very good at handling conflict in the moment and have lately been pretty good at co-operating within and even leading groups.

I'm thinking that, for the second position, I'll just disclose directly in the interview.

I've actually been told that I interview well, yet they never seem to get me jobs or other positions... Yet, again, perhaps it IS a matter of disclosure and I have disclosed very poorly during interviews in the past whenever I actually had the guts to do it. The hardest part is to disclose and be confident about it, yet I have little trouble disclosing in other settings.