Further improvements @work & in life.

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Just thought I'd share.

Bit of an update on some little things in life that all add up to big things.

I shared what I've been doing in the thread linked in my signature, and while improvements are now slower and bit by bit incremental vs. moving forward by leaps and bounds, I'm still moving forward & improving.

I took note on Friday morning on my drive to work that I wasn't quite as passive on the road. Light turned yellow, I gunned it to get what I wanted when I wanted it vs. passively wasting my time and gas stopping asap. It wasn't a conscious decision to blast through the intersection (safely, it was an early yellow.) but rather an intuitive automatic one - and since I've typically been much more passive, I noticed it and it felt kinda good.

Then at work I had a bit of a "moment," I quite enjoyed. The concrete finishing crew on site Needed some equipment lifted up to the second floor ASAP where they were doing a pour. If you're not familiar with concrete placing & finishing; time is of the essence.. it cannot wait. If you wait, things get F'd & it's jackhammer and do-over time. The place was a bit of a ghost town on Friday with only a handful of us there, and the only person who knew how to operate a zoomboom was out for lunch. The concrete foreman was sweating bullets, so, seeing the solution I took charge and walked out into the street and hollered to the paving crew until I found an excavator operator who knew how to operate a zoomboom & recruited him for a little help with nothing more than a request followed up by a thank you.

As small a thing as the above problem solving really was in the grand scheme of life, it was a bit of a significant breakthrough moment & it felt rather good. Normally I'd be passive, quiet, head down and do my work kind of thing - even though I'm educated to do higher level problem solving/management things, as my AS traits just kinda make me that way. But as executive functions continue to improve along with intuition & confidence and a million other little things that all come together in a compound effect of self improvement.. I'm better & better able to naturally move towards more subtly type-A behaviour vs. our typical passive nature.

Also, since there's no real sense in starting another thread about this I'll throw this out there too: My finances have improved considerably now that I've been able to function well enough to work full time+ OT for months on end now. They had taken a real dive the last few years or so of strong symptoms & poor decisions.. I had a business partnership failure followed by bankruptcy. My bankruptcy discharged in September. I got my drivers licence & a car on the road in October. I've been working at this job since the beginning of September, but had a month off waiting for building permits + being sick. Car/licence/insurance set me back about a grand. Gear for work and a training course set me back another grand. Christmas.. oh Christmas lol, I probably spent $1200-1500 on gifts. Yet still, with an extremely low cost of living & being extremely frugal I've managed to stockpile over $6k in savings so far & am continuing to do so. Soon I'll no longer have the frustration of knowing how to invest money (I do very well on investopedia's stock market simulator) but not having capital to invest... soon I'll start having my money make money, and then eventually I'll have enough saved to get started on my business plans one stage at a time. And of course for life, living, travel, fun, happiness etc. Note: I'm not disclosing these numbers to brag. It's not even a lot of money in the grand scheme of things, just relatively more than some if you're in a crap financial position... which I have been in and know all too well. I'm sharing them just to drive home the point that treating the root cause of my AS/ADHD etc symptoms has improved my life all around, including my ability to work & capacity to earn and save money. I by no means earn a lot of money, just a lot more than the near zero I used to make for a few years. Just one more reason others who are in the position I used to be in may want to take me seriously in terms of what I've done to improve my health & in turn entire life.

I'm down to m-f work with only a little OT now instead of the 11 days on 9-10h/day 3 days off rotation I was on, so, sometime in the next month or so (I've got to do some major car repairs on a weekend first, I'm hoping.) I'm going to start looking into bartending again part time. I did it for about 5 years in the past and the money is phenomenal. I want the money again, as well as the social interaction just to continue to test myself and observe myself. So, sometime soon I'll get on that.. might be in for a bunch of changes all at once as this job only has another couple months left on it and the company is from out of town and I doubt I'll travel around to work for them, so I'm going to try to set myself up with a new job for when this project comes to an end. Ideally for more money, but definitely in a more relevant area of construction to my future business plans. So far I've been in touch with a couple of contractors I know and have a few more to contact. I should be able to find something with relative ease, but hoping I can negotiate a higher wage out of the change, as that's always the best time to get a raise - right when you start a new job. Eventually I'll have the $ together for a truck & tools to do my own contracting in the niche I want to be in, and then on and up to bigger and better business plans.. all of which has been made possible by working on my health first and foremost. Just sayin'.

I blew through another early yellow light on my way home Friday and then spent my time doing whatever I wanted to vs passively sitting in traffic like a sucker.

You missed one improvement. Stopping a repetitive behavior about a special interest. When is the last time you posted here, New Years?

I don't think gunning through yellow lights is a good idea though. It is yellow for caution for a reason. There are pedestrians who sprint across intersections. If pedestrians did not do this they would never get across a city street.

You're right; I can't be bothered to waste my time repeatedly defending myself against a-holes who call me a liar. The information is there, I've shared how it's benefited my life & why it is of value and it's up to each person who reads it whether they want to try it out for themselves in see in a matter of days-a few weeks if it's beginning to work for them in the ways I've described. Others not getting themselves happy, healthy, and productive doesn't influence my life one iota. I'll continue improving myself & living life as it's meant to be lived, y'all can carry on doing as you've always done and getting as you've always gotten if you'd prefer to wait several years for a Doctor to tell you it's ok to change your diet & treat gut dysbiosis in order to have a better functioning brain and happier healthier life vs. figuring it out for yourself in a matter of days. That's your call to make.

I've posted here many times since New Years, just mainly in the Love & Dating and LGBT forums - but not as frequently, as I said I've been working 65-70h/week. Now I'm down to ~45 or so hours/week, but still have a lot of other things on my plate. Family things, legal things, life things, etc, so I don't spend nearly as much time on these forums as they don't help me accomplish any of my goals. I spent more time on them when I needed to learn things from here, now when I come around it'd be nice if I spent my time here teaching others - but you can't help those who aren't willing to help themselves, which has been clearly established by the majority here and their response to what I've shared. However, there have been a select few who have pm'd me about it and indicated they intended to give things a shot themselves and see if it works for them - so, that's good. I guess for that reason I pop back around every once in a while just to see if there are any pm's with questions/comments to reply to.

As for going through yellow lights.. yellow = stop unless it's unsafe to do so. Early yellow = I COULD have stopped, but why bother when the intersection is clear, there's no one waiting to turn left, there are no pedestrians etc etc. F that, I'll save my time and blow through it - I've got things to do.

Also, it's not true in the least bit that pedestrians sprint across at yellow lights or they'd never get across a city street. That's a rather bizarre statement. Pedestrians cross safely all the time on green lights with walk signals lit, walking not sprinting. I almost always stop for pedestrians and give them the right of way they rightfully have. Downtown, pedestrians are usually pretty bold and just continue walking after the walk signal or jaywalk all over the place - they get where they want to go just fine without having to sprint across during yellow lights. Perhaps you live in a city where that is part of the pedestrian/driving culture, but it certainly isn't here.

Good going goldfish! I especially liked how you found the guy to operate the thingamagig. PRoblem solving is fun, right? Be careful with those lights, dude! I think early yellows are safe as long as you don't start to think of them as late greens.

So how's it going with BFF and his dad, and the other guy?

I forgot you are in Canada where they are nice (except when they lose Game 7 of the Stanley Cup Finals) not New York City which I am used to, where they cross anyplace, anytime

Problem solving has never been an issue for me, at least from an academic standpoint.. it's now that I'm ever better able to make the connections and take the actions required to get isht done in the real world vs. just solve problems on paper.

Yaya, I'm a better more cautious attentive driver than in the past, too. I used to be more impulsive when ADHD symptoms were bad, but now I'm muuuuuch more controlled - whether slow and passive, or quick to not waste time sitting at lights.
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I haven't really talked to "BFF," for 4+ weeks now. I've been busy with work, my grandmother in the hospital, my dad's health briefly, myself in the hospital ER then a week recovery, learning legal stuff I need to know for the case I have going on, sorting stuff out with fixing my car.. and now trying to fix my macbook but I may have cooked it. I've avoided him for several reasons. I've been legitimately busy + I didn't want to b***h and complain to him about life, as I'd prefer my interactions with him are positive as much as possible. I had a bad habit of unloading my mind on him & I'm in the process of breaking it. Plus I just needed a break from hanging out with him regularly and tormenting myself. I've been focusing better on my various goals, instead. I think of him daily, but I don't spend as much time on those thoughts or calling/emailing/visiting etc.

I went over and helped his dad finish shoveling their driveway last week. I asked him if he'd read the rest of what I wrote - nope, as he felt it was too personal. He did skip to the end and read a bit as I told him there were things of medical value further in/near the end. He skipped over the main medical value points I wanted him to read, so I gave him the verbal rundown of them and he asked a few questions which I answered. I'm looking forward to talking with him more and more about those things in the future, but ideally his son comes around to talking about them sometime. Our conversation had pretty much run it's course when my friend pulled up w/ his brother who must be back in town from school. I felt.. a bit overwhelmed having just been talking about him w/ his dad, and had to leave as I didn't want to show any anxiety or vulnerability - so I left w/o saying hi or anything. "BFF," phoned me at work the next morning from his work and thanked me for shoveling & said he didn't even realize it was me there (I was still dressed in work gear due to the weather and he thought it may have been a city worker.) and we had a brief but very pleasant positive chat. I did see him last week for a moment one morning when I was on my way to work and I spotted him leaving for work as well, so I pulled over as I typically would, and said hi & exchanged a quick *hug* and then I was back in my cart and on my way to work. So, ya, I've seen him once and talked to him verrrry briefly once in the last 3-4 weeks. Just trying to focus better on other things in life that I want/need to do vs. annoying him, and I'm not gonna lie... I do hope that he sees that I'm ever better focused on achieving things in my life and likes that. Time will tell.. Nonetheless, I have a wonderful friend in him that I hope I always have at the very least.

Mr. 18 decided he didn't want to talk to me again.. which I was ok with considering the few texts we exchanged weren't very friendly. He seemed very cold & robotic (possible Aspie? lol) & not someone I'd really want to spend much time around anyways. I have, however, spent a few evenings hanging out with Mr. 21 recently lol. I dunno if there's anything much there in terms of a potential relationship, but he's definitely much better friend material than the other guy was just based on personality etc.

oh, you are such a nice guy! I'm really sending good vibes out for you that you find somebody who can realize that. Maybe it will be bff, maybe not, but I have faith you will find someone. I hope you and your grandma and dad are all ok. You write really well, I almost choked up at the part where bff pulled up with his brother.

thank you.

W/ all the things I'm working on in terms of myself and my life for ME, I'm also working on them because I know it'll either attract Him oooorrr someone like him and I will have someone in my life. In my perfect world it will be him, but it may be someone else. Regardless, the things I'm doing that make me an ever more attractive partner certainly won't go to waste if that partner isn't bff.

As for attracting others.. I don't have a problem with that. I've had a lot of guys interested in me, but I'm not interested in them. In large part because I measure everyone else against bff and no one measures up. Such is life when you have a high school-like crush on someone, I suppose. There have been fewer than 2% of gay guys I've met that I'd consider dating, and only one, my favourite homo - bff - that I actually want to be with. But still, even if it isn't him, I know it'll be easy to meet another 50-100 guys over the years and find one or two I might like to date or maybe be with. At the moment that's not really a priority for me, though. I'm more focused on getting the rest of my life in order first. Job/career plans, finances etc. Making great progress on those things so far but still have a very long way to go to get to where I want to be. Its going to take 2-5 years to get there, and then still require a lot of work/time, but at least by that time it'll pay way better.

Grandma's 92 and had another mini stroke. At first I heard she may have died, but she was talking and visiting w/ ppl when I got to the hospital. She spent a couple weeks in there and is much healthier now. She went home a week ago and is awaiting a space in a care home where she really ought to be since no one is available to provide full time care for her.

My dad was taken to the same hospital, also by ambulance, that same week. It was a simple bacterial infection from a simple medical procedure and he's fine. But it really knocked him around that day.. He couldn't even stand up to go down the stairs and an ambulance had to be called for paramedics to carry him down. Its been a few weeks and he just got back from a 2 week vacation in the sun, so he's fine.

Annnnd I went to the ER of the same hospital that week w/ an abscessed tonsil that got worse during my 9-10h wait to see an ENT to have it lanced and drained. At least they gave me morphine. :p first time I've ever had a prescription pain killer besides dental freezing. It worked well. I had a week off work to recover and have since been back for over 2 weeks now and my strength is back up and I'm back to working out/running/yoga etc.

Heh, aaaw - and here I didn't put one iota of effort into trying to write it in a way that would evoke an emotional response.. So that's kinda nice to hear, thanks.