Too unphysical to work good jobs

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King Slacker here.

I work 39 hours a week (not 40, company is too stingy to dole out benefits and that good stuff) at a gas station in the town I live in. I'm a one-man crew working mostly from 5 p.m. until 1 a.m.. I'm not in the greatest physical shape (read: fat). I've been working at this gas station for almost six years now - same shift, same amount of days. Over the past six years I have found ways to minimize time spent doing duties and still be able to get the place done during my shift. I'd say in a typical 8-hour shift, all of my chore duties can get done in two hours. The other 6, if I'm not waiting on customers, I can set aside for "me" time - reading newspapers, pre-writing newspaper stories (for another job), sitting at the table talking with the evening coffee clatch (it gets dead in there), formulating posts such as this one, etc.

I've always wanted to get the job done without stressing myself out. Without huffing and puffing. Without sweating. I want to go home feeling alright and not so tired all of the time and feel useless for the rest of the day, until having to go back in the next day.

I actually worked at a factory-type job out of high school stacking boxes onto pallets and wheeling them out of the room. 2 months. It was through a temp service so the pay was minimal. Worst 2 months of my life. It was a 6 a.m. to 2:30 job with breaks at 9 and 12, and I'd always feel miserable by 7. I'd hang on a thread before the whistle sounded for break. Two months of this and I said "no more." That was 9 years ago, and I'm in worse shape now than I was then.

***

Fast-forward to today and somehow doing this gas station thing, the certain way I do it, for six years has made me get out of mom and dad's house and into a one-story, low-rent house. It's a nice place for me to live (I'm single with no kids, if you didn't already figure that out by now).

But I got a car on its last leg, a clinic bill for a faint after a hip cold, and a collection of other minor expenses that are wiping out my paycheck and draining my savings little by little. All to the point where the monthly income of [(39 x (hourly rate)) - taxes (x4)] isn't doing enough to keep things afloat.

(FYI I mentioned earlier that I have a side journalism job, but it only makes $60 a month right now; and the journalism job market in my state is absolutely non-existant)

This has forced me to think about getting a higher-paid job, even thought all of the higher-paid jobs that don't have specific qualifications (that I don't qualify for) are all manual labor-type. The same manual labor-type that took all the wind out of my sails after high school.

I'd love to work somewhere from morning to mid-afternoon. That frees up nights and I can do fun things then. But I don't think that is enough motivation for me against the very fact that I may not survive taxing work for hours straight at a time. While I need the increased income, I am really worried that it may do more damage to me on top of how damaged I already am. Some nights I just see myself collapsing due to a heart attack while working on the assembly line. Because I know myself and my capability limits,and I would be going over my limit on simple things other workers take for granted. A foreman cannot see my capability limits, or AS for that matter.

And I hate being around "factory gruff", which is people touting their manhood in front of those who may not have enough.

Everywhere I go, I see people that work in these factories and seem to do it effortlessly. People that are physically better than me. Fat people, too. Most of them that I know have kids - have something they need to WORK FOR. My dad had to work to support for my mom and four kids. I don't have kids. I don't have a girlfriend. I don't have that someone, or anyone, to work for. Don't know if I ever will.

Either way I look at it, working for more money is going to be a death sentence for me. I don't want to tell anyone "I told you so" from a hospital bed when they tell me, "it's easy."

In short, I must die to live better. Huh?

No, you don't have to kill yourself working. If you have time on your own at the gas station, spend it on something else than journalism.
Try a bit of workout (push-ups or whatever) - or try selling things on the internet. Or just read some books that will make you a better salesman or store manager.

With so much free time at work, you're free from stress and hard manual labour.
Enjoy the gas station job, as long as it lasts - I know it's tedious, but at least you have some freedom to do what you want.

I second the idea of hanging in there at your current job. It sounds like it ideally suits you, is not too much stress, and can be managed competently without too much hard work. You've also managed to tolerate it for six years, and that tells you something about how it suits you.

Because you are needing more money, though, if I were you, I would just do whatever I can to keep the job that suits me but make up the money in other ways. (Legal and moral, that is!)

All the tiny differences can add up to being able to get by, even with your debts and expenses that are now eating up your budget.

For example, make a budget and really pare things down. Figure out exactly what your outgoings have to be for necessities -- rent, household bills such as electricity etc, and a minimal set amount that can go on food. Minimize everything and stick to that budget. In food shopping, for example, I set myself a weekly limit and stick to it. It's amazing how much petty cash you can piss away if you just shop for food and snacks willy nilly and at a whim.

Look at what you spend on discretionary items -- stuff that isn't a necessity but is for fun. Try here too to whittle it down to a set amount per month and non more.

Sell on e-bay -- if you have anything you don't want or need anymore, make some money by putting it on e-bay.

There are lots of small ways in which you can economize, that can add up to not having to find a higher paying job just yet. Your current job just sounds so right for your other needs that i would try anything to not have to work at something more stressful -- that might make you more money, but it will cost you your mental and emotional health in the long run.