Trial Period

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So, I got the job at the dog groomer's. Yay! I am very encouraged by this. It's a couple of hours three days a week to start. She needs someone to answer the phones and sweep the floor; but she also wants someone who is willing to help out with the dogs. So, a great opportunity to learn.
The problem is that it's 15 km away from where I live and I no longer have a car. I would hate to lose this opportunity because I can't get there. There's a possibility that my friend will insure me on his car and let me use it to get back and forth. But I'm not sure how much that will cost. Otherwise, a friend of mine who drives a cab says we can work out a deal, but that will still be expensive. Anyway, I'll work it out somehow.
My mother is not being very encouraging. She says it will cost us more than I will make (this is yet to be determined,) and that she doesn't think I will be able to do the job. This second one really stings. I am trying really hard to move forward. It is hard to do so when she says things like that. Obviously I can't do it if I'm going to lose money, but even if I just break-even it's great experience and will likely lead to more hours and opportunities.
Anyway, I'll figure something out, I guess.

Hi Ann,

I guess there's no bus? That's a pity, really. Maybe the bus stops about 2 km away from the job, and you could walk from there?

It seems like a good situation for you. I believe you stated you like dogs.

Perhaps, when you go full-time, the transportation costs will seem like it's less.

If you do well at this job, you could place it on your resume/CV, especially if you work there over a year.

Then I ask: why CAN'T you do this job?

Exactly.

There is no reason for her to say that. I have held down jobs before and am dealing with the issues that have caused me to fail in the past. I don't know why she has to take such a negative outlook.

~snort~
My mom used to constantly comment to me about how I'm not good enough with people etc and how I wouldn't be as successful as my smarter and more social big sister.
Guess what?
Half a lifetime and a few crummy jobs later I'm set in a nice role and she's still making minimum wage.

I'm really feeling a need to get away from my mother. She is like a vortex or black hole trying to draw me into oblivion. I think she harbours resentment against me, possibly for my burdensomeness. Can't blame her I suppose - she never bargained for the likes of me. Anyway, it's really getting to me. Plus, my schemes for getting to this job are falling flat. My friend can't insure me without insuring himself and he can't afford it and the cab will cost a fortune. Mom is saying that I shouldn't have applied in the first place and this is really irritating because I know she is right. I get ahead of myself in my enthusiasm.
Got one more avenue to pursue - my stepmother. Perhaps she will let me borrow her car at least for a bit while I try to come up with somethhing else,

Sorry to hear about your roadblocks... Hope you'll find a route around them.

... I certainly have many memories when my mom's demeanor slipped and I caught sight of her resentment of my burdens (I'm physically disabled but at the time, the doctors told her it was psychological and she believed them... A correct medical diagnosis didn't make those memories disappear).

Well we had a bit of a tiff - every now and then I bite just to keep her on her toes. But I let her know I'm looking for somewhere else to live. She is trying to manipulate me into being dependent on her, not for the first time. I will not get sucked into it, regardless of what happens with this job.
I'm just so frustrated.

Well, my mother and I have worked it out. She is easing off me a bit and I am being more responsive to her frustration. So detente there.

But it's looking more and more like I may have to turn this opportunity down due to logistics. I hate that!

I can't take the bus because there isn't one and securing a vehicle seems prohibitive. I have asked my stepmother if I can borrow her car, but she has yet to get back to me.

I am trying not to lose perspective over this. Ultimately, I can't change what happens and will have to live with whatever does. I don't want to become too upset if I can't do it, so I am already thinking in those terms.

Bother, but ces't la vie.

So I have secured a cab ride to my job for $100/week. This is more than I will be making, but I look at it this way - I am getting a chance to work with a professional instructor, so it's kinda like school. If I were to attend her classes I would have to pay tuition, so the ride is my tuition.
Now I can focus on trying to be successful in the position. I start tomorrow morning.

Good Luck, Ann.

I guess there's no way you could take the bus, though?

Unfortunately, there is no bus. The farm is15km into rural South Frontenac.

Yesterday triggered a lot of dissociation. It felt that my brain was clogged and everything was surreal and far away.

Now I'm feeling depressed. I just can't be the person I envision myself to be.

I will stick with it though.

Thanks Kortie : )

What's most important is that the dogs feel good. It is said that people with autism could relate to animals better than people.

I was in Ottawa a couple of times. On one of their main drags, there's an outdoor movie theatre. It's a really nice, unpretentious city with nice people.

Ottawa's probably one of the largest cities in the world in terms of land area.

When I was in my 30's, I used to run 20km to my job (when I was training for the marathon).

I know it's unrealistic--but I wish you could run the 15km, then make use of the facilities to clean up, then groom the dogs. Then I'm thinking of the walk back home--probably 3 hours (alas!)

I can relate to the dogs easily, it's the pesky people that get me, as always.

Trouble is, the dogs don't enjoy being bathed and groomed. It is unnatural for them and causes them distress which I can't ignore.



Haha, so do I, but alas, I couldn't run from my apartment to the mailbox without keeling over.

Maybe you could do a Temple Grandin, and invent a "more humane" bathing tub for dogs. You could make some bucks that way. Perhaps making use of how dogs "doggie-paddle."

Great job on the plan and the perspective. Hope your Mom relationship stuff stays positive, too, that's a tough one.