Navigating office politics?

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Does anyone have any tips on how to navigate office politics? Like, how do you figure out what is okay to say, and to what person? I tend to say what I think, and don't always realize when something is inappropriate. I try to get explicit feedback and instruction from my supervisor on what is okay to say in which situations, but it is still challenging. Does anyone have any helpful tips or resources?

That's always been an area where I've struggled. If it's not something explicitely stated, let's face it, I'm not going to take it into account. I do, as you say, tell my manager 'I'm ignorant of politics and do not pick up on it, if there are things I need to do or not do with certain people or working processes through the organization, you'll have to tell me straight up'. My last boss got pretty good at it by the end, and my current boss is pretty decent right off the bat.

I'll be watching for anything else helpful here, but, I'll admit that I've kinda given up on myself regarding that aspect of business.

Thanks for the response. It's kind of disappointing that there are no easy strategies for learning this stuff, but it's also not very surprising. As I said, luckily my supervisor is really supportive (and I did disclose my NLD to her about six months or so ago, after a year and a half of work). I have also started to be more open about discussing my difficulty with office politics in my work sub-group, mostly because it has been an issue lately and I've been feeling self-conscious about it. The people in my group have been very nice. It's just the organization as a whole, particularly people higher up, that I have to worry about.

The best thing is to avoid the office politics as much as possible...that is to say try not to get into social cliques try to keep things at a casual ya know the normal good morning's have a good night when leaving for the day stick with the job at hand try not to talk too much and most importantly is leave personal affairs at home.

Unfortunately, avoiding office politics isn't always an option since in many places the perception of how good an employee you are are, in reality, how well you play their game. I've certainly found this in the IT world-- I can only imagine it's much worse elsewhere.

There are ways to help you cope-- and there's always the option of "coming out" at work, which is what I'm in the slow process of doing. My problem where I currently work isn't the normal office politics-- which I can usually navigate with some difficulty, if not a lot of grace. My problem is there are certain events I am required to participate in of an academic nature, and these run by substantially different rules than I've ever had to deal with in my 20+ years of computer stuff. Because an issue was made of it at around the time of my diagnosis, I made it an ADA issue. No decision yet, but I've filed the request in a very cooperative spirit, which is completely sincere. I want to learn, but I can't have people making instant judgments everytime I make what is perceived as a faux pas. And I definitely can't have these things brought up months in advance like it's something they've been saving for just the right moment to spring on me. Both these things have recently happened.

So I believe refusing to participate is not a viable option. Best to face the issues with as much grace as you can muster and make it a sensitivity issue rather than a disciplinary one-- which is how most supervisors will treat it because there's no other tool they feel they have.

Some feedback I've gotten during performance reviews is that I'm too "direct" at times when communicating.

One tip I've received to combat this, is to actually mention to those I regularly work with the following: "one feedback I've gotten is that I'm too direct at times when communicating - I don't intend to and I'm trying to make improve in this area. If I ever come off as too direct to you, would you be able to let me know?"

I actually think this is quite smart. You're almost saying "I'm an Aspie and will say Aspie things to you, so don't get offended and let me know okay?" without mentioning or suggesting that you are an Aspie, and framing it in corporate speak. Also those people tend to give you the benefit of the doubt, and are more willing to brush off direct/inappropriate remarks. I'm thinking they may also defend you more readily if people gossip about you since you've asked them to help you.

This is more for one-on-one situations though, and you can only really say this to people that you deal with on a regular basis to.

Not sure if this applies to your specific case though - do you have specific cases or situations that you find challenging?

Some feedback I've gotten during half yearly reviews is that I'm too "direct" at times when communicating.

One tip I've received to combat this, is to actually mention to those I regularly work with the following: "one feedback I've gotten is that I'm too direct at times when communicating - I don't intend to and I'm trying to make improve in this area. If I ever come off as too direct to you, would you be able to let me know?"

I actually think this is quite smart. You're almost saying "I'm an Aspie and will say Aspie things to you, so don't get offended or take it in the wrong way and let me know okay?" without mentioning or suggesting that you are an Aspie, and framing it in corporate speak. Also those people tend to give you the benefit of the doubt, and are more willing to brush off direct/inappropriate remarks. I'm thinking they may also defend you more readily if people gossip about you since you've asked them to help you.

This is more for one-on-one situations though, and you can only really say this to people that you deal with on a regular basis to.

Not sure if this applies to your specific case though - do you have specific cases or situations that you find challenging?

Thanks very much for the feedback from everyone. I think trying to avoid it as much as possible is a good rule, but BlankReg is also right that there is a limit to how much you can avoid it. I like this advice:

That's actually what I've started trying to do with people in my immediate sub-group. I have a new boss' boss (my organization is very fragmented so my immediate boss only manages two people, and my boss' boss about eight), and she is trying to bring us together as a group and establish a real relationship of trust, and we had a getting-to-know you retreat a couple of weeks ago where I was more open than usual about myself. I mentioned that I can tend to talk too much (endlessly) and be too blunt, and to please let me know if that is happening.



Mostly when I'm asked my opinions on things! My supervisor and I have talked a bit about a specific situation at work that has been cropping up- my feelings about an upcoming move, and how I can react when asked about it. I guess that has been the main issue lately. It's not just not knowing what to say though- I can be too impulsive in conversation too, so I can really have trouble controlling what I say in the moment.

Oh, yeah! I've got that t-shirt.
I'm a problem solver. I analyze and say whether or not something will work.
Before preparing for an office move, we saw a preliminary plan of the proposed space and I was asked what I thought about it.
Well, I immediately pointed out the half dozen things wrong with it from a practical perspective (you can't put a desk in the middle of the floor... there's no subfloor to run conduit for data and power, it has to be against the wall, and the wall with existing drops to keep the costs down... and you can't stack flatfiles 4 high, TWO high is the max, you can't even see into them 4 high) as well as two dozen more things about how it did not even remotely reflect the way that the department worked (there was not a single flat surface at a decent height in the whole place... anyone in that office ever hear of a blueprint? Cause we had to review them all the time)... etc etc.
Of course, I was so focused on the task of pointing out the wrong things with the proposal that I did not notice the icy look from the PM. The plan was done by them and an outside firm where they were very close with the designer or architect (related, married, good friends? don't know, but, evidently I should have and cared)...
Major, major faux pas... and I'm sure I've made hundreds like it without even realizing it.

My boss was called out about it later, as he'd witnessed the whole thing. Basically, he said, listen, it wasn't uber sensitive, but, were any of the points wrong? Isn't it better to find the problems now than to waste money on a build that doesn't work? Yes, it will require a redesign, but, that's cheaper than tearing down walls or spreading out into other areas because this space doesn't work.
I like that guy... critical thinker.
No one wants to redo work, I get that... but, ya know, try doing it right the first time or involving us earlier in the process.

lol, I digress.