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Networking/Interviewing skills (e.g., eye contact)

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Lnb1771
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12 Feb 2015, 1:53 pm

Hello,
When I am attempting to network to find a job, I find myself having to consciously think "eye contact" to remind myself to look at ppl (it doesn't come naturally to me). When I do this, I miss parts of what the person is saying. :? When I look at his/her mouth, I can better follow the flow of words. How do ya'll manage eye contact in this situation?
Thanks,
Lydia



SDerailed
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12 Feb 2015, 9:59 pm

I have problems with this too. I can usually maintain unless I'm asked a question. For some reason it's hard for me to think, answer the question, and remember to maintain eye contact. I've been considering asking a friend to give me a mock interview with off the wall questions I have to think about to practice eye contact. I'll let you know if it works for me.



melmaclorelai
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14 Feb 2015, 11:16 am

Eye contact doesn't come naturally to me either. When it's required or expected of me, I have to consciously and regularly remind myself to make it because my eyes will turn away of their own accord after a few seconds. I don't feel as though I miss out on a great deal of sound or speech when I do this but understand how it could happen. I agree that some mock interviews with a supportive friend or relative could be helpful. I've often found that my nervousness or 'eccentricity', in certain situations is lessened or eradicated when I've done something to prepare myself and had a chance to focus on getting into an ideal mindset for it rather than going into it blind.


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GCAspies
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20 Feb 2015, 10:41 pm

Lnb1771 wrote:
Hello,
When I am attempting to network to find a job, I find myself having to consciously think "eye contact" to remind myself to look at ppl (it doesn't come naturally to me). When I do this, I miss parts of what the person is saying. :? When I look at his/her mouth, I can better follow the flow of words. How do ya'll manage eye contact in this situation?
Thanks,
Lydia

I had issues with this. Best way I found that helped me was looking right above the eyebrows but not at the top of the forehead. This way, people think you're looking at them and nothing comes across as if "can I trust this person?" From what I recall, people didn't seem comfortable when I was looking at their mouth.


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Lnb1771
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22 Feb 2015, 12:34 pm

GCAspies wrote:
Lnb1771 wrote:
Hello,
When I am attempting to network to find a job, I find myself having to consciously think "eye contact" to remind myself to look at ppl (it doesn't come naturally to me). When I do this, I miss parts of what the person is saying. :? When I look at his/her mouth, I can better follow the flow of words. How do ya'll manage eye contact in this situation?
Thanks,
Lydia

I had issues with this. Best way I found that helped me was looking right above the eyebrows but not at the top of the forehead. This way, people think you're looking at them and nothing comes across as if "can I trust this person?" From what I recall, people didn't seem comfortable when I was looking at their mouth.


Thanks! I'll try that.
Lydia



ajson
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07 Mar 2015, 3:21 pm

if its still useful! ... sure .. anywhere near the eyes is good (I go for the outer edge of either eye), but, I've found most important is to have something to say, that encourages the other person to talk (they like that) ... the book "how to talk to anyone" has been my "go to" reminder whenever I have to do a meeting / network thing (shudder...)

http://www.amazon.com/How-Talk-Anyone-S ... 007141858X

the trick in networking it seems is not to talk, but to know how to get the other person to talk :)