On disability and woud like to work but not sure I can?

Page 1 of 1 [ 7 posts ] 

legomyego
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

User avatar

Joined: 31 Mar 2012
Age: 34
Gender: Male
Posts: 313

19 Dec 2015, 4:35 am

I haven't worked in five years, I am have been on disability for two of those years. I would like to work but when I have shutdowns or meltdowns I am reminded of how it probably would not work out. Usually either of these on any job I might achieve would end in my losing my job. My problems are not just autism, but anxiety, depression and add (no hyperactivity) possibly avoident personality disorder (that's what I think I read on the people who did my disability paperwork but really I don't know how they concluded I was disabled) though I don't really agree on that one but i've never discussed it with a psych though I do see some of it in myself.

Just curious for those with mental and sensory issues severe enough to warrant being jobless for these reasons, (Sure I'll be the first to call myself somewhat lazy but I've had jobs before and never imagined I'd be in this position but time flys...) am I wasting my time even thinking of getting a job? I had a melt down today and was punching myself in the head as I often do during such events, afterward I felt numb and my ability to communicate deteriorated greatly. I would like to get a job (though I've been unsuccessful the last 5 years though granted the amount of job applications I fill out online has decreased the last two years) but am I just trying to convince myself into accomplishing something that isn't feasible? There is that quote "insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result" am I just practicing insanity? Do I just need to come to the realization that I am on disability for a reason? I don't know..=/ maybe you can't tell me... :?


_________________
DOA

"Associate with men of good quality if you esteem your own reputation; for it is better to be alone than in bad company."-George Washington


Jozie
Blue Jay
Blue Jay

User avatar

Joined: 4 Nov 2015
Gender: Female
Posts: 98
Location: Australia

19 Dec 2015, 5:09 am

Unless your reasons for wanting a job are financial ones then maybe you could do volunteerwork. That might be less demanding.



unknownfactor
Raven
Raven

User avatar

Joined: 8 Apr 2013
Gender: Male
Posts: 107

20 Dec 2015, 8:47 am

legomyego wrote:
I haven't worked in five years, I am have been on disability for two of those years. I would like to work but when I have shutdowns or meltdowns I am reminded of how it probably would not work out. Usually either of these on any job I might achieve would end in my losing my job. My problems are not just autism, but anxiety, depression and add (no hyperactivity) possibly avoident personality disorder (that's what I think I read on the people who did my disability paperwork but really I don't know how they concluded I was disabled) though I don't really agree on that one but i've never discussed it with a psych though I do see some of it in myself.

Just curious for those with mental and sensory issues severe enough to warrant being jobless for these reasons, (Sure I'll be the first to call myself somewhat lazy but I've had jobs before and never imagined I'd be in this position but time flys...) am I wasting my time even thinking of getting a job? I had a melt down today and was punching myself in the head as I often do during such events, afterward I felt numb and my ability to communicate deteriorated greatly. I would like to get a job (though I've been unsuccessful the last 5 years though granted the amount of job applications I fill out online has decreased the last two years) but am I just trying to convince myself into accomplishing something that isn't feasible? There is that quote "insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result" am I just practicing insanity? Do I just need to come to the realization that I am on disability for a reason? I don't know..=/ maybe you can't tell me... :?


From what I'm reading here, it sounds like a sort of depressed resignation that has been slowly kicking in for you. I know how that feels. No, you are not insane for wanting a job. You are human. Even if the disability check took care of those basic needs, being without a job can still suck. People generally want validation and approval from other people. Jobs and paychecks are a the most popular way of getting that. That's natural.

For lack of a "feasible" paying job option, the thing to do is find alternative avenues for validation. Meetup.com helped me. It gave me a way to get together with people who shared my special interest. Given my own tendency to avoid people, having that shared interest was a key thing in my efforts to break down those walls. Maybe it could help you too.



em_tsuj
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 25 Mar 2011
Age: 40
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,786

20 Dec 2015, 12:42 pm

Have you tried Voc rehab or supported employment? There are federal programs for people with disabilities to help them find employment.

They assess your skills, weaknesses, and interests. They provide guidance and support. They help with job search.



legomyego
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

User avatar

Joined: 31 Mar 2012
Age: 34
Gender: Male
Posts: 313

23 Dec 2015, 2:39 am

I did go there but missed my appointment and need to go back there. Voc Rehab

I may look into volunteering so that I can have something on my resume more recent.

Meet.com has lots of groups? Guess I may look into that but I do want to get a job.

I just know that when I am working I have less worry/hurt etc.


_________________
DOA

"Associate with men of good quality if you esteem your own reputation; for it is better to be alone than in bad company."-George Washington


macandpea
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker

Joined: 17 Oct 2015
Posts: 69
Location: Australia

23 Dec 2015, 5:58 am

Hey I'm in the same boat. But I am looking for work, it's come to the point where I know I've got to just try and see how it goes because I don't want to be on benefits if I can possibly not be. It's natural to be nervous about work when you've been out of the workforce for so long but worst comes to worst you'll just be back on disability. And you don't have to look at losing a job as a failure, there's always something to be learnt

And maybe see a therapist to learn some mindfulness techniques to help with your meltdowns? I have some shockers where I bite myself sometimes but I see a therapist who has taught me some skills that can prevent me from getting to that point



Scorpius14
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 7 Sep 2014
Gender: Male
Posts: 534
Location: wrong universe

23 Dec 2015, 10:21 am

I'm also having trouble in this sort of situation, currently applying for disability benefits, but I think my HFA/Aspergers diagnosis isn't enough by itself to be considered a disability by my governments welfare office. They might just consider me fit for work, because my symptoms aren't too much of a barrier to work (social communication, stuttering, quiet/low voice, can't start up conversations properly, mental breakdown in group situations, poor memory at the best of times).

Ultimately I would like to work but it is really really tough and close to impossible to find jobs that will fit me, though everyone says these soft skills are rarely applied in many jobs. I can't live a life on benefits, no holidays, no home, no independence. A full time minimum wage job would be a good start, but there aren't any around.