How do Aspies make it very far since we suck at networking?

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I keep being told "Network. Network. Network." However, I'm really nervous even doing a follow up phone call (in part because I'm worried my nervousness will make me look worse than if I never called and often times, a follow up doesn't seem to matter anyway so why hurt myself.). I can email people, etc, if I know them, but I'm not the type to be going around meeting people I don't know face to face to try and get a job (and I'm NOT talking about interviews, I mean networking, just so we're clear.)

However, without networking, we're really at a disadvantage as we don't often get the inroads against the 100s of NTs applying (some of whom already have the connections or can get them faster than we can).

I think networking can be learned so while you may be at a disadvantage now, you can certainly learn those skills. And I'm sure you have some skills that are better than most people to balance out the skills you aren't as strong with now.

I'm good at networking, i've done TCP/IP, NetBeui and IPX (Novell Netware). Briefly came into contact with Banyan Vines and OS/2 Lan Server for a while and i've created software that talks SMTP to do realtime spam protection and Syslog with digital signing.

Jokes aside, there is that sweeping generalisation "we" again. I have an Aspie acquaintance who is very good at social interaction, we've both done the WAIS test and while i'm at the bottom of the social meter she is on top of the game.

I both agree that networking and other social skills can be learned, but also that everyone is an individual and "their mileage may vary."

At one time in my life I was involved with a "career" pursuit that almost entirely relies on the kind of "lucky breaks" that are actually all about who you know. Networking is the main way anyone in that field actually got anywhere, and I sucked at it. I did know what I was expected to do, I observed from others what the general ropes were, and I tried, but I just wasn't good at it. I also really hated doing it, and one of the ideal windows at certain events also happened to be a window where I actually needed to stay away from everyone for ten minutes -- after which the opportunities had gone anyway. I sucked at this skill.

It doesn't mean you won't though; everyone's different in their strengths.

We succeed.....because we are frequently damn good at what we do.

kraftie, what's your point? Nobody is saying we can't be "damn good" at something we are good at.

The OP is asking how to overcome something that arguably quite a few people on the spectrum find to be a challenge, ie, networking socially within a career pursuit or other area where being a people person is a huge advantage.

Nobody's saying we can't succeed. It's a reasonable question to ask regarding a difficulty with networking, and some fields do rely on networking even more than being "good at what we do." Sorry but that's a reality in some cases. I was "good at what I did" but networking was more necessary. Are you trying to suggest I'm making that an excuse because really I wasn't any good?

It's a reality in many cases that networking is in fact just as important if not more important than simply being damn good at what we do. Sorry but life doesn't work out that way all the time. It SHOULD but it regularly doesn't.

YOU'VE been okay but then you are a people person who didn't have a career that needed networking per se.

Find and play to your strengths.

I run my own business. I am absolutely useless at networking - I don't use the phone unless absolutely necessary, I can't do public speaking, I struggle with face to face conversations.

I have attended a lot of networking groups over the years and found them to be very uncomfortable, but eventually I found a group where the people involved were friendly and welcoming even though I was clearly awkward. And it didn't take much for me to them emphasise my strengths - I'm no good at the talking, but I have a lot of integrity. My strengths in business are that I'm hard-working, honest and committed to fairness - not here to rip anyone off, and people quickly recognise that and it's what's served me so well.

Networking definitely is not my skill, but if you can find what you are (as kraftiekortie put it) "damn good at", then that can balance the scales.

How to make it:

1. Be the best that you can be in your chosen field, but chose a field that is in high demand (e.g., a STEM field).
2. You don't have to be perfect; just make fewer mistakes than everybody else - do the best that you can.
3. Keep trying - never give up.
4. Keep learning - surprise them with your new skills.
5. Be where you're supposed to be when you're supposed to be there, and doing what you're supposed to be doing.
6. Good grooming and hygiene are important.
7. Dress appropriately for the job.
8. Common courtesy counts; greetings, salutations, and politeness (i.e., "please" and "thank you") go a long way.
9. Remain calm; nothing kills a reputation quicker than rage or a "meltdown" in public.

That'll do for a start.

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T minus 55 and counting.

It does seem like you can get a STEM job without networking simply because those jobs are in such high demand. I guess you're out of luck if you suck at STEM like me (I have NVLD).

I agree with Alex, networking doesn't come easy to aspies, but we can certainly learn it.

If you're a little shy and introverted, there always LinkedIn, where you can connect with people you know and others - and join groups within your professional field or interest.

We get jobs from fellow video game cosplayers who own businesses?

Really? I have a STEM degree and it's been totally useless...I graduated a year and a half ago and have yet to secure a job in my field. I started leaving my degree off my resume since after an interview for a housekeeping job the guy asked why I wasn't using my degree. I guess they don't want to hire people who might leave after a few months for a better job. If I had friends or a network I'd probably have a job by now. Honestly I am so sick of the term STEM.

I have had one for twice that long and it still hasn't panned out, other than that possible lead for the local thing that came up lately. Of course, in part, I blame the Robber Barons like Mark Zuckerturd and their push for illegals, H1Bs, EB-5s, etc that are horribly flooding the job market in order to get cheap labor and crowding out those like me who are already disadvantaged. Looks like you've been a victim of their policies as well.

Plus, STEM is hard to get into as, unless you had an internship, which my Aspergers and living in rural areas got in the way of, you're almost screwed out of the industry as they want experience already even for "entry level".

A good resume beat networking for me but perhaps I am in the minority. I feel a really well written resume and applying for the right job, at the right time is the best option we could take without networking. Also when I was in between jobs, I used a temp agency so that helped too.

Yup since I don't have any experience, I can't get a job unless someone is willing to give me a job without experience. And they'd only do that if they knew me or we had a mutual friend aka networking. I wish I had known how crucial experience was in college. Employers won't even consider me if I don't have experience. I know this because I have called up and asked and they said I need "x amount of experience." I didn't get much job experience in college due to my social anxiety. So, personally, I do have a lot of disadvantages preventing me from getting work. I'd still say that networking is the number 1 reason.

It was a generalization, and I apologize if I didn't make that clear. Not all Aspies with a STEM background have successful careers, but it sure seems all Aspies who have a successful career come from a STEM background! I would love to hear stories contrary to the latter....I have NVLD so STEM wasn't an option for me. I did much better in verbal subjects.