Work meeting

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So a meeting at work is now a meeting over lunch at someone's house to have chance to socialise together. Kill. Me. Now. I can't do this. I can't get out of it either, I have to attend wherever it is. Why does everything has to be turned into some social event?! I can deal with a meeting at work that I can get up and walk away from. I can't deal with being shut in someone's house, not knowing where to sit, what to wear, how to talk about anything that isn't work, if I can get up and walk around in their house, what if it goes on longer or they want to go out somewhere afterwards, what if they see what a social weirdo I am outside of work and question it? Tired of life.

That sounds like it could be excruciating. But, perhaps you can minimize the discomfort. Do you know these coworkers well? It might help if you think of a few simple, personal questions you can ask. Ask about their kids, spouses, or other details of their lives they've shared. They will probably be happy to tell you a lot in response to a simple question, and they will think you are interested and a good listener, while you really just have to sit there. It may not be fun, but it could help you feel less pressured to perform.

Thanks for the response HighLlama. I feel I know them in work, but I have no idea what they are like outside of work. Your suggestions are good ones, I could give some thought to things to ask/ talk about to prepare. I often do that anyway if I have to go somewhere with people I don't know, like going on courses, but I'm so tired of always spending the few days before these things getting worked up trying to think what is ok to wear, where I might sit in different rooms, how to get there and practising driving the route and where to park, how to start conversations, what to say. I'm just so tired of it. Work is one of the things I manage better, but to mix it with socialising just fills me with dread and I don't want people at work to see what I'm like outside of the routines at work. Sorry for the moan. I guess I'll start thinking about it all

Yay! Meeting has been changed as some people couldn't make it. It's now at work, in my uniform, in a familiar place, with a limited time window so it'll be very focused. Massively relieved.