when you don't want to go to work...

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Tufted Titmouse
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17 Apr 2016, 12:24 am

Lately, I just dread Mondays, so much that last Monday I called in sick. I still didn't want to go to work to the next day, but I knew I probably wouldn't kill myself and didn't want to have to deal with the consequences of missing days of work, so I forced myself to go.

I've had depression and anxiety my whole adult life, but lately it's just really bad and no doubt is interfering with my work. The other day I had to do calculate 7 x 4 and for the life of me I couldn't figure out the answer. :(



Maple78
Raven
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18 Apr 2016, 9:07 am

I know that feeling! It has led me to quit all of my previous jobs :-/

Do you think you need more help with tuning down the depression/anxiety through medicine, better sleep, food, exercise, etc in order to fortify yourself enough to feel more neutral or better about going to work? Or more rest/relaxation activities?

Or do you think you need to find a work environment that doesn't aggravate the depression/anxiety?



SpacedOutAndSmiling
Blue Jay
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18 Apr 2016, 10:15 am

hello,

I've been in this position. Was back in this position recently. Simply having no more energy left.

The solution for me has been:

* More support at home
* Stronger routines
* Trying to find more concrete tasks within my role.

I have a support manager, so thats an important step.


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BatGirlAspie918
Tufted Titmouse
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03 May 2016, 12:14 pm

I feel this way often myself.
I work a 9-5 corporate type job atmosphere, and it just burns me out so badly. I am finding out that full time work is very hard for me and having to be always "on" is killing my mental health.
When I work part time jobs I find it so much easier to cope with my everyday life functions. But I have to work full time in order to support myself, I live alone. So rent, food, bills, I have to work full time at work a good paying job. As awesome as it sounds that I can live alone and pay my bills and work a corporate job it is not easy to deal with my Autism. So yea someone can say "you are doing so well in life why b***h" but in realty I just look like im holding it together yet im really hanging on by a thread so to say. :cry:


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VinoVeritas
Tufted Titmouse
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03 May 2016, 10:17 pm

I've had the same problem, more with some jobs than others. The feelings of depression are real, but they offer a deadly downward spiral: let them sabotage your work performance and you feel bad about yourself, which makes you more vulnerable to the depression. Let them force you out of the job, and you are sitting at home alone, becoming even more vulnerable.

The job you are in may not be a good fit for someone on the spectrum. My first professional job came with strict starting and ending times, lots of timekeeping throughout the day, and a lot of chaotic personal interaction. I could usually count on being in a full-blown depression by about mid-week and I barely seemed to have enough time on the weekend to get myself patched up. I kept at it because I knew it is much easier to get another job if you are currently employed (and the whole bills/rent thing). Eventually I landed a position in another place that came with looser hours and more independent work, which was a big improvement for me. I recommend you hang in there, even if it hurts, and carry your resume around in your off hours to try to find a less stressful position.

As for day to day management, I second the sleep/food/exercise comment. I find that a personal routine helps as well - after work, do something that feels healing to you, and don't let anything come in the way of your personal repair time. (I play videogames for this purpose, although when it's really bad I might fall back on watching cartoons or something.) It is probably worth discussing medication with your doctor. I consider meds a last resort, but I would start up on them if the alternative was losing my job.

Good luck, and hang in there.



beakybird
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08 May 2016, 6:09 pm

Im totally with you there. Very hard to get motivated for doing a task you don't give a damn about.

What do you do?

Do you find it's a boredom/attention span thing, social stress, what? I know for me is one of the biggest issues is trying to do the same boring, unengaging thing over and over with no end in sight until I die...

I hate thinking like that too. It's just so hard not to. This is why I drink and do drugs. It doesn't help much. But it's something...



nurseangela
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08 May 2016, 6:28 pm

I dread work. Left late tonight because my IBS started up at the last minute. I usually end up with bad heartburn and a headache. I try to focus on that I'm glad to have a job.


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MrLucky
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08 May 2016, 11:11 pm

beakybird wrote:
Im totally with you there. Very hard to get motivated for doing a task you don't give a damn about.

What do you do?

Do you find it's a boredom/attention span thing, social stress, what? I know for me is one of the biggest issues is trying to do the same boring, unengaging thing over and over with no end in sight until I die...

I hate thinking like that too. It's just so hard not to. This is why I drink and do drugs. It doesn't help much. But it's something...


Yeah, there are times when I sit back and just think, I know where many here come from. The only thing that keeps me together is I know I have to work to survive, pay rent and so forth. I dearly would love to go back to school and get something like a degree in electronics technology, I love things like that, I have an amateur radio license. I work in a call center and I hope I keep doing well enough to get by until I can find a job more suited to me but it is hard since there are some things I cannot handle since I'm not really a people person. I can handle some things but ot all and I just hope I can keep kicking the can down the road.

To unwind, I do video games too or just watch TV, other times I fire up the ham radio or just lay with my cats. I can see why some here turn to drugs or alcohol, as George Carlin said, "it calms you down."



structrix
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19 May 2016, 11:38 am

BatGirlAspie918 wrote:
I feel this way often myself.
I work a 9-5 corporate type job atmosphere, and it just burns me out so badly. I am finding out that full time work is very hard for me and having to be always "on" is killing my mental health.
When I work part time jobs I find it so much easier to cope with my everyday life functions. But I have to work full time in order to support myself, I live alone. So rent, food, bills, I have to work full time at work a good paying job. As awesome as it sounds that I can live alone and pay my bills and work a corporate job it is not easy to deal with my Autism. So yea someone can say "you are doing so well in life why b***h" but in realty I just look like im holding it together yet im really hanging on by a thread so to say. :cry:


I feel the same way. I think I would be much more productive in a part-time job but the bills are there and must be paid. :cry:


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