too disabled to work, too high-functioning for help?

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I don't want to disclose too much personal information, but long story short I've been deteriorating over the past two to three years after an abusive relationship, in and out of intensive therapy programs, and struggling with a panic disorder and major depression. on top of all of this, I've slowly been discovering that my parents hid my autism/aspergers (still haven't confirmed which) diagnosis from me my entire childhood. it's affecting every aspect of my life and my meltdowns are growing more and more frequent to the point that I can't articulate myself in meetings with employers.

a month or so ago, I got fired because I missed work due to a meltdown (I was in the emergency room and couldn't call out). I found another job, overnight stocking, which I thought would be a good fit. but I was treated really poorly after only being there a short time, as if I were stupid or incompetent, to the point of being laughed at. i talked to HR about it, but their tones never really changed. on top of that, I ended up hurting my back, and the place won't work with my restrictions, so they put me on leave so they wouldn't have to deal with me anymore.

I have no income, I can't pay my bills, and I'm too high-functioning on the outside to get any real help from the state. people just don't believe me when I say I have autism or aspergers. has anyone been in this situation? does anyone have any advice? are there programs that help people with ASD/aspergers who can't quite make it on their own that doesn't involve group housing?

Do you have any documented, up to date, formal diagnosises and live in the US? I went through the Department of Vocational Rehabilitation Services in Washington, and I'm about to start a job next week.

If you have up to date diagnosises, even if it isn't asd/autism, I believe they can help you get that diagnosis to have it be part of your job plan.

It's not a fast moving process though. I saw someone last August, my paperwork went through in December, and since I decided to do an assessment my assessment site wasn't found until late January and I started in February. Then I worked through an employment services program that DVR paid for, the process which started in March. I got hired in early June, but that position didn't work for me.

I'd really recommend looking for some kind of help through either a box rehabilitation or WorkSource.

I'm not sure about housing though, I've been fortunate enough that as f*cked up as I was for about 3 years post high school graduation where I was too unstable to look for a job much less hold one down (I graduated at 19, something my anxiety and depression also f*cked up lol), I had a parent that could support me. I don't have a formal diagnosis for ASD and I was aware my anxiety and mild bipolar wouldn't probably be enough to qualify me for SSI, even though both were frankly debilitating for me.

I'd look into any kind of local programs you can find for people with disabilities, whatever they be developmental like autism spectrum or mental illness.

I hope something works for you, I know my problems were more because of my mental illnesses (and like you, trauma, which I'm still dealing with 18 years after the fact), but I know how it is to be unemployable due to your mental state.

I know you said state programs won't help, but if you have documented proof they have to. I know I didn't seem nearly as bad as some, since most "displayed" issues were anxiety ones, but I still got help.

I have some documented, up to date diagnoses for anxiety and major depression. I am trying to get a full psych eval, including ASD, but my psychiatrist never called me back about it and I have to set up a new appointment because I was trying to change psychiatrists anyway.

Phone calls are probably the #1 hardest thing for me to do, and it's cost me job opportunities, financial help, and is even currently jeopardizing my disability claim. I've been on a wait list for a case manager at two different locations for months, but that's the closest to a legal phone representative as I can get until I get a diagnosis, as other services won't be provided without one.

DVR exists here, and I'm going to really try to call them on Monday (tomorrow), but I've been trying to get to the point where I can call them for two months now. Typing/writing/e-mailing is much easier for me because it is a form of nonverbal communication, and one of my special interests is writing, but most places require a phone call, including our DVR. I also don't know how soon I can get the assistance from them, like you said.

For now, I think I'm going to try to get General Assistance for my imminent financial situation. My next steps are DVR and ASD screening, but I feel largely that I cannot get much help with those processes, since most services here require formal diagnoses, and I need the help in order to get a diagnosis. It feels like a never-ending loop, or paradox, and it's really triggering and makes me shut down a lot :/