Feeling underemployed but helpless to do anything about it

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First of all, I have either NVLD or Aspergers. (Psychologist hired by vocational rehabilitation says NVLD; Social Security psychologist says Aspergers. I tend not to believe the social security guy, because he said he doesn’t even believe NVLD exists...) I also have epilepsy, ADHD, and a heart murmur. I don’t drive, because my brain knows what to do, but can’t get the information where it needs to go in time. (It has absolutely nothing to do with my epilepsy, because it has been well controlled for years and it’s only the staring kind.) All of my disabilities are minor except the NVLD.

Now, to make a long story short, I have a bachelor’s degree and a certificate in developmental disabilities, but, because I can’t drive, no one will hire me (apparently, driving is an “essential function of the job” because I would have to drive clients around, so no accommodations have to be made and they don’t have to hire me.) I ended up working as a mailman for a company that makes jobs for people with disabilities, but I feel like I am severely underemployed, and I would like a job because of my skills and not because they feel sorry for me because I have a disability.

I have been thinking about what else I could do, but I don’t have enough money to go back to school for anything, and I can’t get any scholarships because I’m not working in a specific industry or super smart. I thought about a museum job because I like to visit museums, but there’s no museums here and, again, you have to have a degree in museum studies. There’s a scholarship from the state (ND), but I have to be working in the industry to get it. The only thing I am good at is crochet, but I can’t drive to craft fairs and they cost a lot to sell at. There’s a ton of people trying to do the same thing online, so that’s out.
My dad is retired military, but I can’t get anything from it, because apparently when you get married they assume if you can do that, you are not disabled enough to need help, even though my husband has Aspergers and ADHD also.
I don’t have any benefits because social security says I make too much money to get anything, and my company says I’m not disabled enough to get help from them finding a job. Going anywhere else in my company would only be a demotion (janitor, folding and washing towels and sheets, etc.) I have to buy my own health insurance and pay my company to drive me to work. Vocational rehab dumped me as a client because I cannot afford to quit the job I do have in order to work for free with a job coach who may or may not get me a job. I applied to several schools to be a sped teachers aide, but you have to reapply every year even if you get the job, they have to put the job up even though the person might keep the job, and I live in the same town as a teachers college... so I didn’t get anywhere even though I had over 20 interviews (apparently they have to interview everyone).

I’m feeling like I’m going to be stuck in my dead end pity job for the rest of my life because I’m in a crack that I can’t get out of... and it makes me cry sometimes. It feels like no one can help. Even my husband doesn’t know what to do to help me.

That’s the bummer. Having a driver’s license is a requirement for many social service jobs.

The only solution I see is getting a license. Maybe you just need more practice than most. You don’t sound like you’re neurologically or physically precluded from driving. I wonder if there’s some “mental block” preventing your driving. Maybe you’ve been in an accident? Let me emphasize that I don’t know your story.

I’m not saying you’re a “coward” for fearing driving. I’m not judging you; that would be presumptuous. I’m saying that maybe some extended practice might help you. It helped me.

Maybe it might take a long time (It took a long time for me). But I would seek some driving instruction. Hopefully, a friend could help you in this by starting you out in a mall parking lot or something.

That’s the reality of the situation. Many social service agencies require a license.

Of course, going for you MSW would help, too.

Some possibilities:

Child day care instructor.

Trying for the teacher aide is better than you might think. Even if you have to reapply each year, it is frequently a stable employment due to many people not having the patience for that job.

There are also jobs providing services to people with developmental disabilities where you wouldn't need to drive, such as personal care and companion.

BlazingStar is deep into this.

She knows her stuff.

NVLD is not in the DSM. Hence it doesn't "exist" for various bureaucratic purposes. There happens to be a lot of overlap between NVLD and what used to be called Asperger's syndrome, so you could easily meet criteria for both.


Slow processing speed is characteristic of many (not all) people on the autism spectrum.


Are you saying that all jobs that involve caring for people with developmental disabilities also involve driving? That seems odd.


Of all the alternatives you mentioned, the one that I would think would be most promising, given your background, is the following:


The organization I proposed here and here could help you, if it existed. Perhaps you could help build it, if we can find enough other people here on Wrong Planet who are interested in working to build it too?

“Are you saying that all jobs that involve caring for people with developmental disabilities also involve driving? That seems odd.”

Well, I live in Minot, North Dakota, and there’s really no public transportation. There’s a bus, and a public transit van system for the old and disabled, but they don’t run except for school hours, (and you have to tell them 24 hours in advance when you want to go somewhere) so everyone drives. We have Uber and lyft, but apparently clients aren’t expected to learn how to use it, even the ones who could... they just get “staff” who drive them everywhere. I don’t get why. (I know for a fact that several of my coworkers could, but they just have staff.) My husband and I use both of them all the time...

I also can’t work with the most severe people (vegetables? I know that’s not a pc term for them, but I don’t know what a good one would be) because of my gross motor skill problem- I have trouble using the lifts and things.

How would you get to work if you have no transportation?

Like I said, there’s Uber and lyft, and since I would know in advance probably when I would work, I might be able to take the bus/disability van.

What's NVLD?

Nonverbal Learning Disability. Having both NVLD and an ASD is horrible for finding a job (I have both). Jobs that are a good fit for someone with the former are not for someone with the latter.

There are jobs at Adult Day Training Centers. They don't pay a lot, but it is a job doing something worth while. You would need to get to the center and back home, but no driving during the job.