I can't stay in my job and I can't change job

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Nira
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20 Jan 2018, 6:02 am

I have been working for 5 years as IT specialists. Recent organizational changes have occurred. I will lose much of my work and I dont know, what then will be my job description. It happens that I finish my assigned task and then the job is canceled. I dont like unnecessary work. The rules are set and are still being violated. Other rules do not even exist. Managers' decisions make no sense and costs the company a lot of money. Scheduled dates are shifting. It is for me hard, work here. When I know managers' decission is wrong, I can change nothing. I do not like the uncertainty. I often have no work. My boss don't underestand my problems with all this. He still says how the situation will improve, but still nothing.

I don't have problems with my colleagues, I ignore most people and they ignore me. I work together with my colleague. She is like translator. I can explain her something, I can show it her, she is more patient than most people. And she then know explain it to my boss or other people. I solve technical issues, she solves communication with people. My boss got used to it on me, sometimes i am not able speak with him or he don't underestand, when I try explain him something. It took a long time to get used to it. At first he thought I am arrogant. He later understood that for me is difficult speak with people.

Now I have to work with another team. Those people do not know me, they want me to say something to them at the meeting and they look at me like an idiot because I do not know what to say there. They don't like me and my colleague. They are externalists, our suppliers and I as employee of the customer had to interview with them as when I search job including send them my CV.

I really don't know what do, because I can't stay in this job and I can't change job, because interviews are problem for me. I don't see any solutions. Not every job I am able to do. I try to go to the job interviews, but yet unsuccessfully. Often i dont know, what they want to hear from me. With a growing number of attempts, there has been some improvement, but it is still not enough. Sometimes the interview proceeds differently and I'm not ready for that.
I don't want leave this job, until I find a new one.


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magz
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20 Jan 2018, 11:02 am

Maybe talk to your collegue, "the translator" about it? She knows the NT side of your workplace situation, maybe she sees what's going on where all you see is chaos.
Corporations often to a lot of work and then cancel projects. Yes, it's frustrating to see your hard work redirected to /dev/null. But companies do this and this is what they pay you for.


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infinitenull
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20 Jan 2018, 9:29 pm

Unfortunately I do not have any good advice for you, but my situation is incredibly similar. In fact, if I swapped out about 2 or 3 details (like swapping technology for operations) it'd practically be my current story.

Right now... I am just keeping my eyes open for postings and submitting applications when I can. At the same time I am working with my boss to see if there is a way to improve the current job, maybe give me some new duties that are well suited to my capabilities.

The thing I relate the most to... is doing work that is pointless, wasteful, or damaging to the business. I am unmotivated in those situations, I cannot focus, and while the goal is supposed to be to "do your best even in a bad situation"... I rarely am very good at my work in those conditions.

I hope it gets better for you one way or the other!


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Very high systematizing, low empathy, but moderate to high sympathy.
I do not experience cognitive dissonance reduction the way that other people do.
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Nira
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23 Jan 2018, 3:46 pm

Thank you for your responses. My collegue doesn't underestand our management too.

On the project we have meetings. I had today few questions, because i want underestand, what our suppliers do for us. One from them answered me, why I ask, when I don't need it and it is not certain that it will then manage our team.
Three quarters of a year ago my boss told me, we will do this. I don't know, if he lied or what's changed again.

If company pay people for doing useless work, then is something wrong. I am unmotived from doing useless work too. I don't know, why do it and why waste a time with this task.

I will try with my boss improve the current job, but I am not sure that it helps. I need change project. He needs me for this project, because from our team only I know it. This has no solution, only find new job.

In new job i dont know, which people I can come across. My collegue helps me and my boss has patience with me. My previous boss was different and I don't like him. I am affraid, what kind of people will be in new job, if I will change job.


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infinitenull
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23 Jan 2018, 7:32 pm

Yes, yes and more yes. I agree with all of this.

An inefficient operation is so demeaning to work for. I have no idea how people just suffer through those scenarios in life. It's not just miserable for me, I literally am not capable mentally or physically of doing busywork. With no actual value add, I can't connect the dots to complete tasks. I recently had a big "do busy work" sort of instruction from my boss and I knew it would be bad so I told my boss that I was struggling from that. I explained that I needed more direction. The way I explained it is I feel like an actor getting ready to do a scene and how they say "What's my motivation?"... he told me some good advice about how I can think of it alternatively and it's helped immensely!

A new job is not guaranteed to be accepting of my quirks, or worse could put me in another situation where I am not able to do effective work while also not having any of the comforts of the routines I've developed in my current place.

I hope you the best of luck with this! you're not in it alone. Hopefully it gets better for the both of us.


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Very high systematizing, low empathy, but moderate to high sympathy.
I do not experience cognitive dissonance reduction the way that other people do.
Professionally diagnosed in March 2018


Nira
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Joined: 6 Jan 2018
Age: 33
Gender: Female
Posts: 149

09 Feb 2018, 1:05 pm

I recently had one interview. They praised me for being successful in the tests, but they didn't accept me anyway. At another interview they promised me the second round, but nothing yet. Another one awaits me next week.
In my current job I tried explain my boss these my problems. He promissed better place in openspace, but I don't know, how to convince him to give me better work. Today half day I didn't any work.

I hope you the best of luck with this too, infinitenull.


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Sorry for my bad english. English isn't my native language.