What do I do?

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This is my first post so if I do it incorrectly please just let me know and I'll fix it.

I've had some pretty spectacular successes in my life, but I've had many many more failures and the only reason I'm still alive is because my parents took me back in and have helped support me. Here's a brief history of what happened:

Job 1: Guy who I thought was my friend stabbed me in the back and got me fired, then subsequently sabotaged the business/career I had started that was doing very well.

Job 2: Worked as one of two exec admins for a psychotic corporate type. The other admin one day yelled at our boss and said she was going on vacation and left. When he came in the next day he asked me if she was coming in and I said no. She came in. I guess she was being sarcastic. She turned all the other admins against me and was just very mean from then on. HR did absolutely nothing, despite my repeated pleas for help, and eventually I just left.

Job 3: Went for an admin job and they wanted me in sales. I exceeded everyone's wildest expectations and everyone was thrilled with my performance except for the middle manager who came in 3 months after I had started working there. I was psychologically tortured for roughly 8 months before getting let go "without cause."

Job 4: Took any job I could so I could get health insurance because I wanted to kill myself and knew I needed therapy. The job was teaching complex software to mostly computer illiterate Baby Boomers and up. The CEO complemented me on how quickly I was able to onboard my first client (I enjoy teaching sans bureaucracy) and told me he was using me as a benchmark for new employees. The girl who was being groomed to manage my team had no management experience. I was told I could create my own process and procedure so when I finally realized they wanted me doing everything differently I asked for some time to adjust. The girl started micromanaging me like crazy and emailing our boss about things I would do like leaving without saying goodbye to anyone (she accidentally sent one of the emails to me which is how I became aware that I was being monitored). I was put on a performance improvement plan—aka HR mechanism for firing people—and so I decided to disclose my disability. Made no difference. Two weeks later I was let go again "without cause."

I'm about to graduate college because I had nothing better to do (in my 30's and never liked school), and I have no energy left and I'm terrified of the workplace because I know if I get fired again I will kill myself, and it seems to be inevitable. I don't do anything wrong, but for some reason people always suspect that I'm up to no good and they act vindictively towards me.

I'm not suicidal, but logically—my IQ is 130—I don't see the point in living if every day is just pushing through more pain. It feels like I just get punished over and over again for things that weren't my fault in the first place. Therapy is useless because all they want to do is numb me up with mood stabilizers and antipsychotics, despite the fact I've never done anything to warrant such a treatment regimen—other than feeling suicidal. I can't really talk to anyone about it because they tell me that everyone has these problems and I just have to figure out a way to deal. I don't really know how to end this post so if anyone has any thoughts, questions, advice please feel free to contribute and thank you for taking the time to read this.

I tend to keep going for 2nd shift jobs where I tend to have less staff to deal with and usually much more autonomy. I'm not sure what administrative work you do, but I wonder if 2nd or 3rd shift is an option if your sleep can adjust. I have heard of Hotel manager position called Night Auditor who run the desk while doing final accounting for the day.

What field will your new degree be in?

Thanks for the reply. I'll check out your suggestion. I've been considering hospitality because ideally I'd like to be on a mountain so I can just snowboard. I think I could get my life back if I figured out a way to just ride for a season, but life is expensive and I'm not a saver.

BS in Business Management & Marketing, but it was really just a means to open the door to higher ed, and wound up being a trying lesson in the disconnect between academia and reality. I know the graduate level will be so different in such a good way, but I've gotta get out of the scholastic environment for a bit.

Sounds like you have repeatedly fallen prey in social interaction-rich work environments. A better choice for you might be something where you have a technical skill you can perform ably and not interact too much with others. Anyway, I decided at some point that this was what I preferred for my own employment.

You could also benefit by some strategies in office politics. While you might never be the social butterfly, you should learn to develop a few, or even one or two, office "friends." Share tips on doing the job, cover someone's rear, do favors, have lunch together. This can go a long ways when some others seem to gang up on you, or might even prevent that from happening entirely. Also, don't always value job performance over interpersonal relationships. Sometimes an Aspie will be the top performer but have no friends, which makes others jealous and resentful of you making them look bad. There are even times when you should shoot for only a C+ performance review, as long as you are getting along with everybody.

It never hurts to do favors for people at work, or contribute to them looking good. If you do get stuck on a group project, be an active participant, but don't feel miffed if others disagree about the best way to go.

I hope these suggestions help, not always easy to implement them but seems like a better plan than suicide, you know?

All good advice and thank you for your reply. I've done all the social things you're suggesting and they only work temporarily. I don't know how to do C+ work and it's always been a major problem for me, both personally and professionally. Bottom line is that, as a recent neuropsychologist said to me, "it sounds like you've had a lot of illegal things done to you." I have and it's what's sucked the life out of me. I'm not going to kill myself, but I believe I'm headed towards a heart attack and I don't want my parents to be saddled with my debt. I'm thinking I'll just find the energy to put together a strong case (I always gather all documented evidence when I start to feel familiar "mistreatment confusion") so at least they have options and I won't have to worry so much about it.