When someone tells you "you can't"

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Oops, just saw how old this post was. I hope you have found what you need. If not, keep going. I'm a plant person. For people who work with living things like plants or birds, those can make a job a huge source of comfort and support.
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I'm pretty opposed to people telling someone "You can't", especially without really good relevant reasons. Even then, they ought to be able to work with you to get to "You can."

On the other hand, given some of your restrictions such as your husbands health and need for a caretaker, and possible lack of prefered jobs in your area, you might need to ask some other questions of yourself:

Do you want/need a job for the money?

Do you want/need the job to get out of the house? IMO this is perfectly valid. Being a full time caretaker is HARD. Human beings need a break. If the doctors say your husband needs full time care, perhaps they can suggest other ways to help cover that need.

Do you want/need a job for self-satisfaction/self/actualization? If so, think about other ways to get that. Perhaps you could create a blog or website on local birds for kids. Maybe you could do paid or volunteer talks/classes for local schools, parks or nature centers on birds. Or...

If your husband's needs can be met in another location and relocating would not be damaging to either of you, if it would be beneficial...seriously consider what would happen if you took the relocation for the job. Weigh it out. I've had enough bad therapists that I wouldn't take one's advice, much less orders without plenty of consideration.